My dog is jealous

Posted on 13. Jul, 2010 by kchristieh in animals

My dog may be jealous of this pooch we saw recently, but he’s too short to drive anyway. Besides, I’ll have my hands full teaching my son to drive for the next few months.

The luckiest person in La Canada

Posted on 28. Dec, 2009 by kchristieh in life lessons

One of my loyal blog readers sent me these pictures from a recent accident involving a local young man. He’s lucky to have walked away from this unscathed. Don’t text or fiddle around with your iPod when you drive, or this might happen to you. And you might not be so lucky.

I made sure to show these to my teens. Better to learn a lesson from someone else than to experience it on your own.

Click here to see sobering statistics regarding cellphone use and car accidents.

I use my cellphone in my Prius, but I never touch it since the Bluetooth is built into the display on the dash. In fact, the phone itself is usually in my purse in on the floor behind my seat. To make a phone call, I press a button on the steering wheel and then one button on the dash. It’s easier than turning the radio to another station. When I first got a cellphone, I’d hold it to my ear in the car. I would throw it onto the seat next to me if things got complicated with driving. Thankfully nothing bad ever happened. If I ever held my cellphone to my ear while driving now, I’d feel as vulnerable as if I rode without a seatbelt. And, I’d be breaking the law.

Car wreck, financial wreck, the joy of childhood and the love of a dog

Posted on 28. Feb, 2009 by kchristieh in animals, economy, inspirational people, my life, parenting, shopping

While I was on my way to take my daughter’s car to the body shop today,

three people called me on my cellphone, but I was a good girl and didn’t pick up the phone. But when I stopped at the corner of Lake and Walnut in Pasadena, I took my camera out of my purse and snapped some pictures of the people protesting in front of IndyMac:

Later in the afternoon, my daughter and I had fun watching these delightful children in the fountain at Paseo Colorado in Pasadena. They waited patiently for the water to come back up, and  would step on where the water had come out previously to get it to come, just like adults press elevator buttons over and over.

When the water finally came, they laughed and giggled with such delight that it took a cold or hurried soul not to stop and smile. I think Paseo Colorado management should pay kids to play there and make us all happy.

When I got home, my dog ran to the window to greet me.

It’s the little things that bring the most delight.

Every driver needs this in their car in case of an accident

Posted on 26. Feb, 2009 by kchristieh in life lessons, my life, parenting, shopping

Every driver needs a in their car. Period. This compact zippered case holds insurance and DMV information, a disposable camera, a pen, a clipboard and a checklist that details what to do in case of an accident.

I purchased one for my daughter last summer when she got her first car. I am so glad I did, for this evening she was in an accident and says that having this kit allowed her to stay focused and do what needed to be done.

Thank God she’s alright. That’s by far what’s most important. I partially credit this kit for keeping her ok after the accident, because she was able to maintain her wits about her and drive home. If she’d been too flustered trying to figure out what to do, she might not have been able to do that.

By the way, I bought a kit for myself last summer. Having everything in one place keeps my glove compartment more organized, and now it gives me a little more peace of mind that this truly does help in an emergency.

I purchased my kit at The Container Store, but I’ve also seen them at Target. You can also purchase them from several vendors on and other online stores. It might be the best $14.95 you ever spend.

How we remembered Thanksgiving’s true meaning

Posted on 27. Nov, 2008 by kchristieh in my life

It’s easy to gloss over the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Wake up late, watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, take advantage of the 25% off total purchase coupon at Sport Authority (hypothetically speaking, of course, hahaha) and eat lots of yummy food. Maybe someone says a nice, long grace, but that’s often about it.

This year was different. I asked everyone at our celebration to name something they’re thankful for, and suggested that we go around the table a few times to make sure people didn’t feel pressure to come up with the “perfect” thing to give thanks for.

I’m thankful for so many things. I could have gone on for a long, long time. I’m thankful that my daughter hasn’t gotten into an accident driving, that our country hasn’t been attacked like on 9/11 again, that my family is healthy, that we’re doing ok financially, that I have loving family and friends, and so much more.

I love that I live in a country that’s made a holiday out of being thankful. I think that’s really cool.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Teenage boys shower before Mom drives them to their girlfriend’s house?

Posted on 26. Feb, 2008 by kchristieh in health, parenting, sports

As usual, rumors of the moral delinquency of our youth are greatly exaggerated.

Surveys show that 80% of teenage boys pursue a girl because they like her. Only 14% put sex at the top of the list. In “Peeking Inside the Mind of the Boy Dating Your Daughter” in this Sunday’s NY Times, we discover that,

Physical attraction and wanting to get to know someone better were tied as the second-most-popular answers. Boys who were sexually active were as likely to say they pursued sex out of love as they were to say they simply wanted to know what sex feels like or to satisfy a physical desire. Wanting to lose their virginity barely registered, with just 14 percent of boys checking that answer.

Researchers said the findings show that teenage boys really are motivated by love and a desire for meaningful relationships.

One can only hope!

Did you realize that only 29.8% of 16-year-olds have their driver’s license? That’s down from 43.8% in 1998. The NY Times story “Fewer Youths Jump Behind the Wheel at 16” says that,

Reasons vary, including tighter state laws governing when teenagers can drive, higher insurance costs and a shift from school-run driver education to expensive private driving academies.

To that mix, experts also add parents who are willing to chauffeur their children to activities, and pastimes like surfing the Web that keep them indoors and glued to computers.

I generally love chauffeuring my kids around. That’s when I find out what’s going on in their lives. I got my license at 17, and think that 16 is too young anyway. I LOVE the photo the Times put with the story (see right). If the girl had dark hair, that picture could be me driving and my daughter in the passenger seat, texting.

And finally, boys should be showering more these days. Wrestling parents in particular should read the Fresno Bee story “Wrestlers grappling with infections: Skin diseases plague school competitors.” Wrestlers are at higher risk of contracting skin infections, including a drug-resistant form of staph called CA-MRSA.

The California Interscholastic Federation, which regulates high school sports, is planning a conference Monday in Sacramento with state health officials to address the issue. But the anecdotal evidence is everywhere: 10 Firebaugh High wrestlers came down with various skin infections last year.

Three wrestlers at Gustine High were treated for staph infections and a form of herpes in January. McLane High forfeited a league match against Sunnyside in January because five wrestlers had contagious skin infections. Last year, two Clovis High wrestlers missed more than a week after contracting herpes, possibly at a tournament in Utah.

In the San Diego County community of Encinitas, 13-year-old Brian Carbaugh died in January from a drug-resistant staph infection after possibly contracting it in a wrestling class. High school wrestling in Minnesota was suspended last year after 24 cases of herpes were reported on 10 teams.

A big part of the problem, health officials say, is that many athletes don’t shower, clean their gear or practice good hygiene.

My son’s good about showering when he gets home from practice or meets, but that’s no guarantee. Scary stuff, especially if you’re allergic to penicillin like I am. The picture to the right accompanied the article. If that’s not enough to scare your son to shower, I don’t know what is.

I’d like to wrap the world in bubble wrap

Posted on 01. Feb, 2008 by kchristieh in life lessons, my life, parenting, religion

Sometimes I feel like Rat does in this Pearls Before Swine cartoon:

Each time my son’s broken his arm, I’ve wished he’d been wrapped in bubble wrap. When my daughter got her learner’s permit, I wished the whole car was wrapped in it.

Life’s not like that, however. We need to be able to admit that we can’t control everything in our lives, and that bad things will happen. I still wish they didn’t, of course. But if I don’t cede control, I’ll die of stress.

Maybe we all need to be like Pig, and make the best of things.

I feel like I’m writing the !

Read this before you take your behind-the-wheel driver’s license test

Posted on 14. Dec, 2007 by kchristieh in education, videos

Before you take your behind-the-wheel test, check out from the California DMV. In the Driving Test series, there’s a video for each of the top 10 mistakes people make during their behind-the-wheel exams. I’ve listed the videos below to make it easier to view them in order.
Driving Test Series:

Sharing the Road Series:

Additional links:

Why isn’t there a simulated driver’s ed video game for teens?

Posted on 19. Nov, 2007 by kchristieh in education, my life

Why isn’t there a simulated driving video game for teens? Between all the flight simulators and racing video games out there, you’d think that someone would take the time to develop a program that would depict realistic driving situations for new drivers.

Perhaps such a program exists, but if so, it’s either not readily available or not publicized well.

I’d enthusiastically pay for a program that would remind a driver to slow down when children are playing in the street, come to a complete stop, go the speed limit, etc. It shouldn’t be a thrill game, so there shouldn’t be lots of blood and gore when things go wrong. If there is, kids would be tempted to make things go bad. Instead, the emphasis should be on a realistic driving situation.

Of course, this wouldn’t take the place of actual behind-the-wheel experience. But it would probably make that experience much more productive.

Too bad this will probably be developed after I’ve already taught my kids to drive.

The joys of teaching a teen to drive

Posted on 22. Oct, 2007 by kchristieh in art, parenting

My daughter found this Zits comic in today’s paper. I can totally sympathize.

I’m surprised the Zits mom doesn’t have more grey hair. Oh, she dyes it.

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Sending my daughter off in a car with a strange man

Posted on 16. Jul, 2007 by kchristieh in my life, parenting

All the stranger danger lessons I’ve taught my daughter were tossed out the window this morning. At this very moment, my daughter is driving for the first time on our local streets with a man named Luis (sp?) who shook my hand and drove her away. I don’t know his last name, I don’t know where he lives, I don’t know a thing about him except that he works for our local driving school. And my daughter doesn’t have her cellphone, since she’s driving.

She wouldn’t let me take a picture of her next to the car, but I snuck one in from the dining room window. Thankfully, she doesn’t read my blog.

I’ll need to look at my past post with all the links about how to teach your kid to drive. I’m sure that this afternoon she’ll want to take the minivan to a local parking lot and drive. She wants me to teach her, since she thinks my husband will constantly question everything she does. Every mom I mention that too says her kid says the same thing. Dads in this town must be pretty tough.

I think I may sprout a few more grey hairs today.

POSTSCRIPT:
Her lesson went well, and she said the instructor was a great teacher. I took her to a big parking lot this afternoon for about an hour, and she practiced turning, parking and reversing in my minivan. She even drove us home. And I didn’t have a heart attack. I even made her laugh once or twice.

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Tips for parents teaching teens to drive

Posted on 02. Jul, 2007 by kchristieh in cool websites, education, parenting, travel

Back in NJ, we got our driver’s permits at 16.5 and our licenses at 17. Here in California, kids get their permits at 15.5. It’s so young!

Today I took a deep breath and drove my daughter to the Glendale, CA DMV to get her permit. We had an appointment, so it didn’t take too long. It was scary to see the old man with the walker trying to get his license renewed. If he can’t walk and can barely move, how can he drive? Also, my daughter said there were people talking to each other and presumably cheating when she took the written test. She said it was worse than at school. The strangest moment was when the guy behind us asked if he could be in my daughter’s permit photo. Awkward!

She passed, and we celebrated at the great Coldstone’s at the corner of Glenoaks and Highland. (I’m writing that down so I remember to take my stepbrother to the sandwich shop there for lunch sometime since he works near there.)

I stayed up late last night looking for online advice about how to teach a child to drive. Here are the best sites I found, in order of preference:

• How to teach your teenager to drive (Everything2.com)
  Shows what to teach in each lesson. Great details.
• The Driving Challenge: Teaching Your Teen to Drive (Ohio DMV)
  Lesson by lesson, not as detailed, but very helpful.
• Parent-Teen Driving Guide (CA DMV)
  Learning to Drive: A Guide for Parents (Drivers.com)
  Teaching Your Teen to Drive: Tips to Get Through Those Tense Moments (ABC News)
  Teaching Your Teen to Drive (About.com) 
  Teaching Your Teenager to Drive (Family Education.com)
  Preparing Your Teen to Drive (State Farm)
  Good general tips about how to approach the process.
• Trial by Freeway: Parents’ commitment helps a teen become a skillful driver
  Especially good article near end of pdf file about parents who took notes when their daughter took her first long trip. By Karen Telleen-Lawton.
• How to teach a teen to drive (eHow.com)
  Clear, but very basic.
• Give Your Teen More Driving Time (US News & World Report)
  Tips for giving your kid more behind the wheel experience, and cautions about certain driving schools

Here are some contracts which you can use/adapt for your teen to ensure that she realizes that driving is a privilege and a serious responsibility. We’ll take the best points from each of these.

• 5-Alive Parent/Teen Driving Contract
  This detailed contract clearly spells out rules/consequences.
• CarControl.com
• SaferChild.org
• TeenDriving.com
• AllProDad.com
• HobNobBlog.com
• City of Calabasas (need to hit “Open”)

Here are a few things we could have easily missed in this process:

• Here in CA, you need to be signed up for behind-the-wheel instruction and have a certificate proving it in order to get your permit at 15-1/2.
• You also need to pass the written test at either a school or online, and have a certificate proving it. My daughter did it online, and after she finished it took about a week for the certificate to arrive in the mail.
• Make sure to bring a passport or birth certificate to the DMV.
• Bring your checkbook.
• Call your insurance agent before your child drives. Make sure to have the social security number and permit number handy. Our insurance is going up $950/year. Ouch! I should shop around.
• Then call the driving school to schedule that first lesson!

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Why do teens do stupid things?

Posted on 22. Jun, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, my life, parenting, tv

Now that both my kids are in high school, we frequently discuss why some kids are making poor choices regarding sex, drugs and alcohol. Here are a few theories my kids have come up with:

• The kids are bored
• They’re not supervised
• They have free time because they’re not in sports and they don’t do their homework
• They have enough money to buy drugs
• They want to fit in

Whenever I challenge these, my kids rightfully say I shouldn’t attack them, because they’re not doing these things. They’re right – I’m just expressing my frustration, because none of these are good reasons to make dangerous choices.

But what can be done to prevent kids from making these choices? Other than the fact that drunk driving rates are half of what they were 20 years ago, kids are still doing the same stupid things kids did when I was in high school. This is in spite of abstinence education, red ribbon week, character education, etc.

In today’s NYTimes editorial, When Preaching Flops, David Brooks says

Deciding is conscious and individual, but perceiving is subconscious and communal. The teen sex programs that actually work don’t focus on the sex. They focus on the environment teens live in. They work on the substratum of perceptions students use to orient themselves in the world. They don’t try to lay down universal rules, but apply the particular codes that have power in distinct communities. They understand that changing behavior changes attitudes, not the other way around.

I’m not sure exactly what he’s recommending, but it sounds like he’d definitely scrap programs that just throw a bunch of aphorisms at kids. I think that aphorisms are useful to define a community’s beliefs, but otherwise agree that they’re not likely to change behavior.

So what would I prescribe? Here are some initial ideas:

• More parental involvement and awareness (but how can we reach the parents who really need it?)
• Smaller class sizes so teachers could have a better idea of what’s really going on
• More afterschool activities for kids (though I think some kids would be bored even if Disneyland were down the street and the ocean were up the street)
• No World of Warcraft or Halo to suck up (mostly) boys’ time
• No music videos that normalize skanky dance moves, revealing clothing and promiscuous culture

Anyone have any other ideas? It’s painful to see great kids making poor choices, and if there were anything we could implement in our community, it would be rewarding to help save some of these kids from themselves.

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Kids and the Law

Posted on 18. May, 2007 by kchristieh in cool websites, parenting

Did you know that:

• Kids can legally be out past curfew if they’re participating in a religious, educational or political activity?
• In developing a school dress code, parents must be involved in the decision-making process?
• Parents are often liable when their kids damage, destroy or deface others’ property?
• It’s illegal to tether a dog to a doghouse or a tree for more than three hours?

These and other California laws that might concern children and their actions are explained in a VERY readable format in the 2007 version of Kids & the Law: An A-Z Guide for Parents. Topics covered include driving laws, drugs, alcohol, online predators, juvenile court, and much more.

There are two other similarly excellent publications: When You Become 18: A Survival Guide for Teenagers and Seniors & the Law: A Guide for Maturing Californians. I’m going to try to order the printed versions for the next PTA meeting.

Hopefully I’ll never need to know all this information – it’s every parent’s nightmare! But, it’s best to be prepared.

Photo scavenger hunt

Posted on 04. Mar, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, travel

If I’d been anywhere near NY city this weekend, I would have loved participating in the NY Times’ Point and Shoot for Bonus Points photo scavenger hunt.

This week, Weekend in New York offers a photo scavenger hunt, in which you (working alone or in a group) seek out scenes and objects intrinsically New York and capture them with your camera. The hunt could be the centerpiece of your weekend, but also could serve as just a way to enhance your downtime as you wander from restaurant to park to museum, observing the natives in their natural habitat.

I don’t think the Times is giving out prizes, but it sounds like fun anyway. I hope they report some results. Here’s an example of things they’ve asked people to take pictures of:

• Best-dressed dog: And by that, we mean worst-dressed dog.
• Cheesiest Statue of Liberty-related tourist souvenir.
• Pedestrian triple-tasking: Someone doing at least three things at once, one of which is walking down the street — plus eating and talking on cellphone; listening to iPod and reading magazine; or knitting and screaming at friend.
• Anyone wearing George W. Bush paraphernalia (hat, T-shirt, full body tattoo): Manhattan voted 82 percent to 17 percent for John Kerry over Mr. Bush in 2004. The word on the street is that the president’s popularity has not increased.

I think we could do this in La Canada Flintridge. We could have people look for:

• Skateboarders with helmets (most don’t wear them)
• Farm animals (the big controversy these days is whether people can own roosters here)
• The deer inside JPL (this would mean you need to get past the guards)
• Naturally flowing water, not in a concrete channel
• The smallest dog (most are labs or retrievers here)
• A Democratic bumper sticker (I can claim that one – my Obama bumper sticker is the only Democratic one I’ve seen)

I’m sure there are many more I haven’t thought of…

Big Mother is watching you…

Posted on 01. Mar, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, parenting, travel

Today’s Wall St. Journal reports in Is a Candid Camera The Key to Safer Teenage Drivers? that a Midwestern insurance company is offering a discount to families that install video cameras in their cars to record driving habits.

Mr. Mougin, 18 years old, has been participating in a University of Iowa study to see whether the device and the data it provides can help improve teen driving. The camera, attached to the rear-view mirror, has one lens facing the road and another aimed at the driver. It runs constantly, and slips into recording mode if, for example, the car accelerates rapidly or brakes suddenly. It then preserves about 10 seconds before and after the event that triggered it.

“You don’t want to set it off,” Mr. Mougin says. After 10 months of taking part in the study, he says, “I know I’m a safer driver.”

I want one of these!! The devices are called DriveCams, and their website says that,

Combining sight and sound, event analysis and driver coaching, DriveCam’s approach has reduced vehicle damages, workers’ compensation and personal injury costs by 30 to 90 percent in more than 60,000 commercial and government vehicles around the world.

Imagine how many lives that translates into! The DriveCam TeenSafe Driver’s Program rolls out nationwide this summer, which is when my daughter gets her driver’s permit. (15.5 yrs – way too young!) You can pre-register for the program at the DriveCam site.

Hopefully it’ll show that I drive well…how embarassing would it be if I didn’t?

You Might Help a Teen Avoid Dumb Behavior By Nurturing Intuition

Posted on 03. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, education, parenting

The standard way to convince kids not to do something dangerous is to educate them about the risks involved. So, if you don’t want them to drink, you tell them about all the reasons they shouldn’t.

That works for some kids, but not for others. While they might understand the risks, and in some cases even overestimate them, they still engage in the risky behavior. Why is that?

Today’s Wall St. Journal article, “You Might Help a Teen Avoid Dumb Behavior By Nurturing Intuition“, says that

Teens tend to underestimate the bad consequences of risky behavior. They think, yeah, smoking will give me cancer (only 18% of teen smokers deny that most lifelong smokers die of a smoking-related disease), or unprotected sex will give me a sexually transmitted disease. But how bad can that be — especially compared with the benefits of smoking or sex?

Social acceptance and the allure of rebellion right now outweigh the costs later. (Even adults, not to mention financiers, prefer immediate benefits to future ones.) Teaching teens to assess risks accurately won’t decrease stupid behavior — they’re already pretty accurate at gauging the consequences. They just aren’t much bothered by them. No wonder three million new cases of STDs are diagnosed in U.S. adolescents each year.

Young people are especially bad at resisting risk when they’re with peers and when they make decisions on the spur of the moment. In these cases, the emotional brain hijacks the logical one, so knowing the numerical risk of driving drunk won’t stop them. That information is suppressed.

So what can we do? Throw up our hands and hope for the best?

Mature adults manage to avoid risky behavior not because they’re better at conscious deliberation, the scientists say, but because they intuitively grasp dangers. They go with their gut. “As a result of knowledge, experience and insight, they grasp the essence, the gist, of a situation,” says Prof. Reyna. “They don’t stop and deliberate on the costs and benefits of risky behaviors.”

Getting young people to do the same thing arguably holds more promise than improving their powers of deliberation. For one thing, that is limited by the fact that, until your mid-20s, the brain’s frontal lobes are still maturing. Regions responsible for curbing impulsivity, thinking ahead and making sound decisions aren’t necessarily up to the job. But grasping the gist is something even 18-year-olds can manage.

“Deliberately weighing costs and benefits often encourages risky behavior,” says Prof. Reyna. “You have a better chance if you get teens to pick up, unconsciously, that a behavior is dangerous and intuitively avoid it.”

She and colleagues are doing that in a continuing study of 800 teens. Through emotion-packed films and novels, they drum into kids’ heads positive images of healthy behaviors and negative images of risky behavior (a benign version of how the doctors in “A Clockwork Orange” pair violent images with nausea). The idea is to make the thought of risky behavior reflexively trigger a no-go decision. All the evidence, as opposed to folk wisdom, says this is more likely to work than current tactics.

That’s a big argument in favor of monitoring children’s and teen’s media usage, but that’s no news to me. I’ve always said that the more you see something in a positive light, the more likely you are to think it’s ok. The more movies a kid sees with sex and drinking, the more likely they are to think it’s fine.

I try to be careful with what my kids see, but lots still sneaks in. It’s not just movies and tv – it’s billboards, books, magazines, newspapers, peer groups and more.

Sigh. All we can do is try. And, model the good behavior ourselves.