Women are the solution, not the problem

Posted on 26. Oct, 2009 by kchristieh in economy, education, feminism, health, inspirational people, international, startling statistics

Tonight I met one of my heroes: NY Times journalist and Pulitzer Prize winner Nicholas Kristof. I heard him address an alumni group about his work and his new book, Half the Sky. Other than my family and our president, there’s probably no one I’ve blogged about more. I have immense respect for how eloquently he tells the stories of people who are unfairly treated, and for how deeply he cares about what happens to them.

Here’s a quiz based on what I learned this evening:

1. Which do you think there are more of in the world: males or females?
2. If the 19th century was defined by slavery, and the 20th by totalitarianism, what is likely to define the 21st century?
3. True or false: As many American women died in childbirth during World War I as men died on the battlefield.
4. A female sex slave in Cambodia can be purchased for several hundred dollars. Approximately how much in today’s dollars would a 19th century American slave be worth?
5. Which of the following concerns Kristof the least when he visits an African warlord: car accident, banditry, or dying at the hand of the warlord?
6. In some developing countries, families spend 2% of their income on education. What do they often spend 20% on?

Answers:

1. Males. Even though statistically there should be more females, so many females are aborted and such a low priority is placed on the health of women that in many parts of the world, boys outnumber girls by an outsize margin.
2. Gender inequity. It’s a huge problem in much of the world, and holds many societies back. Also, see question 1.
3. True. American maternal mortality improved when women got the right to vote, and politicians thought the electorate demanded adequate medical care.
4. $40,000. As poorly as American slaves were treated, their masters had more of a financial interest in keeping them healthy and productive. A female sex slave is worth so little that if she causes problems, she’s expendable. In some instances, her fellow slaves are made to beat her to death if she’s a troublemaker.
5. Dying at the hand of the warlord. Caveat: that holds true when he’s in the territory of the warlord. The warlord doesn’t want to be known for being responsible for killing an American journalist. I agree about the car accidents; one of my fellow writers from The Stanford Daily recently died in a car accident in Africa.  :(
6. Tobacco, alcohol, prostitution and elaborate celebrations. Kristof argued that this is why women should be empowered to make more financial decisions. He said he’s seen families whose children have died of malaria for lack of a $5 net, and yet the father spends $1.50 on alcohol 3x a week.

Kristof doesn’t want to just make people feel sorry for the people he writes about: he wants to spur them to action. Here were some areas where he said improvement would make a drastic different not only in the lives of the women they affect, but would have a ripple effect in helping the societies in which they live:

• End sexual slavery. Nearly 1 million women and girls a year are trafficked as sex slaves, and at least one reputable group estimates that there are 27 million people in bondage worldwide at this time.
• Improve female education. He said that when he’s talking to leaders of poor nations, he makes more headway on this issue by explaining that females are their country’s biggest untapped resource than by appealing to moral arguments.
• Improve maternal health. Today, a woman in Niger has a 1 in 7 lifetime chance of dying in childbirth. Women in many other countries don’t fare much better. A poor woman in a rural setting has two strikes against her, but there are techniques and practices which could be used to serve even these women better.
• Empower women financially. Micro-loans have been particularly successful in allowing women to not only provide for their family’s livelihood and education, but it’s allowed them to have more of a say in how the family money is spent.

If I were a journalist, I’d want to be like Kristof. But I’ve chosen a path where I can be around my family more, so I try to do my part by volunteering, creating websites for non-profits, and blogging.

Kristof was correct when he said that what makes us happiest is when we help others. It’s immensely satisfying to have a positive impact on the world. And Kristof definitely does.

If you’re interested in hearing Nicholas Kristof speak, he’ll be in Southern California for a bit longer. Here’s his schedule of events.

Save the babies + educate the kids = healthy society

Posted on 06. May, 2009 by kchristieh in education, feminism, inspirational people, international, non-profits, quotes

One of the biggest lessons Greg Mortenson has learned since he started to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan is to LISTEN. I think he’s learned it quite well. He’s listened to children, their parents and village elders who have asked him to build schools for their villages. He’s listened to mothers who have asked him to help reduce the infant and maternal mortality rates. And as a result, boys and girls are being educated in greater and greater numbers each year, and those children are coming back and helping their villages escape the cycle of poverty and ignorance that serves as a breeding ground for Taliban extremists.

I had the privilege of hearing Greg speak at the California Distinguished Speakers Series this evening in Pasadena. He’s just like how he describes himself in his bestselling book, Three Cups of Tea: just an ordinary, humble guy. But that’s what makes him so extraordinary. He’s made it his life’s mission to educate the children of Pakistan and Afghanistan, and is particularly interested in making sure that girls get an education. He said that when a girl learns to read, she is likely to teach her mother to read, to read newspapers to her family, and to someday deny her son the blessing that he requires to go on a jihad. Greg is the son of former missionaries, and doesn’t have much money. But he’s determined and passionate, and gets others excited about making a difference in the world.

One of the first slides he showed was of this African proverb:

Teach a boy and you teach an individual

Teach a girl and you teach a community.

At first glance it’s easy to dismiss that as being more applicable to Third World countries, but I found it interesting that he said that many of the American politicians and military readers who say they’ve been touched by Greg’s book say they read it because their wives encouraged them to. I was pleased to hear that the new administration is taking Greg’s ideas seriously. Maybe Barack Obama does read my blog!  ;)

Many thanks to Robin R., who gave me the tickets (my hubby accompanied me – I’d given him the book to read last summer!) since she wasn’t feeling well. I hope she gets better soon! Now I need to sleep and stay healthy to continue making a difference and to have the energy to do even more things!!

Vivian Stringer is my new heroine

Posted on 15. Dec, 2008 by kchristieh in books, feminism, inspirational people, sports

When Vivian Stringer recruits players for the Rutgers women’s basketball team, she doesn’t just promise them that they’ll play on a wonderful team. She looks the parents in the eye and promises them that if their daughter plays for her, she’ll treat her like a daughter, and do everything she can to make sure she graduates and is prepared for life. She means it, too: she’s still in touch with most of the young women she coached.

She’s the real deal. She comes from modest roots, as the daughter of an African-American coal miner, but was raised with self-confidence and an incredible work ethic. She also has a huge heart, and genuinely cares for everyone she knows. She’s overcome incredible adversity: the death of both her father and her husband at young ages, caring for a daughter who suffered severe brain damage from spinal meningitis, surviving breast cancer, and more, but she soldiers on and makes the most out of life.
I haven’t played on a basketball team since 8th grade, and I didn’t play any school sports in high school. Even so, I was completely entranced by her autobiography, . By the time I got to the end of the book, where she recounts how she chose to respond to Don Imus’s “nappy-headed hos” comment, I wasn’t at all surprised that she handled it with the utmost of grace and courage.

She inspires me, and I think she’d do the same for you. If my recommendation isn’t enough, 24 out of 25 reviewers on gave this book 5 stars, and the other gave it 4 stars. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such positive feedback for a book on Amazon! This would make a perfect gift for a coach, teacher, or athlete.

Semi-homemade cooking fits our family

Posted on 30. Oct, 2008 by kchristieh in books, feminism, food, local news, things that bug me

On Monday I took a break from work to listen to cookbook author / tv personality Sandra Lee speak at the bookstore around the corner. I’ve never seen her on tv, but in person she was bright, warm and fun. I really liked her, and enjoyed hearing about why she decided to start writing cookbooks.

I purchased her “” cookbook. I need to get some new, easy meals into our repertoire. So far I’ve made two recipes from the book, and both have been a hit with everyone in our family. I won’t copy the recipes here, since I don’t want to infringe upon her copyright. However, I’ll recount them to the best of my memory, and recommend that if you want the exact proportions and ingredients you purchase her cookbook.

Island Chicken:

• Slather thin-sliced chicken breasts with olive oil and jerk chicken seasoning. Grill.
• Sprinkle jerk chicken seasoning on canned pineapple slices. Grill.
• Mix pineapple juice with a little bit of brown sugar. Boil until reduced. Serve atop the aforementioned chicken and pineapple.

Turkey Meatballs:

• Mix 1.5 lb. ground turkey meat with egg, breadcrumbs, onion, garlic, parsley, ground pepper. Form into 1″ meatballs.
• Mix a jar of spaghetti sauce with two medium cans of diced tomatoes with basil, garlic and oregano with basil.
• Put the sauce and the meatballs in the crockpot on low for about 8 hours.

Speaking of cooking, I was disturbed by the cover of the November, 2008 Arroyo Monthly. Why are all of Metro Pasadena’s Top Chefs pictured men? At least when you read the article you discover that one that isn’t pictured is a woman. Is there a problem with the system or the selection process?

Link:

• Sandra Lee’s official website. She didn’t look anything like this in person. She looked far hipper.

All American Girls should see Kit Kittredge

Posted on 06. Jul, 2008 by kchristieh in books, feminism, movies

Even though my daughter’s 16, she agreed to go see the movie “Kit Kittredge,” which is based on the American Girl books. Although the books and the movie are aimed at younger audiences, we both thoroughly enjoyed it, and are glad we went.

The movie centers on Kit Kittredge, a 10-year-old girl who lives in Cincinnati during the Depression. She watches sympathetically as financial woes strike those around her, but eventually her own family has to make some major adjustments. She dreams of being a newspaper reporter, and the Depression provides ample material for her stories. She’s inquisitive and confident, and after she learns that hobos aren’t all bad, she tries to convince the people around her to have more sympathy for them. I won’t reveal what happens in the end, but there’s one scene where a boy tells a hobo to do something that made every woman in the theater cry.

The acting was great. Abigail Breslin, from Little Miss Sunshine, is completely convincing as Kit. Although Jane Krakowski’s Miss Dooley is basically the same as the Jenna character she plays on “30 Rock,” that’s ok, since she’s pretty funny. We also particularly liked Joan Cusack, who plays a mobile librarian. Oddly enough, I was also struck by how the realistic browns and greens in the movie reminded me so much of my childhood. Although the 60’s was a time of bright colors and wild patterns, my homes and those of my grandparents were much older, and more reminiscent of the 30’s.

I wish there were more great G movies, and that people would go to them. I truly enjoyed this movie, and feel lucky that I have a daughter to go with. I’d hate to have missed it.

How to make your husband do more around the house

Posted on 16. Jun, 2008 by kchristieh in feminism, my life, parenting, startling statistics

Here’s a sad statistic: when both a husband and a wife both have full-paying jobs,

There, the wife does 28 hours of housework and the husband, 16. Just shy of two to one, which makes no sense at all.

It’s no wonder that some couples are setting up chore and errand charts to ensure equity. According to yesterday’s NYTimes Magazine article, When Mom and Dad Share It All, there are even couples that set up schedules on the computer. Many gain their inspiration from a group called the ThirdPath Institute, which encourages shared work within families so that they can create more time for life.

This intrigues the industrial engineer in me, but thankfully I don’t need to set up charts at my house. Although my husband works full-time outside the home, he’s great at chipping in to clean up, and even does his own laundry. Since I work at home, I mix in chores and errands with my work day. We settled into a routine long ago: I track the finances and he mops the kitchen floor. We’re both happy. Now to get the kids to do even more! (Heehee! They’ll have more time now that summer’s almost here!)

The article brought up something that I don’t hear talked about much: that many women choose less stressful or lower prestige positions to accommodate family demands. That’s definitely true in our case. I left my first consulting job because I didn’t want to travel away from my husband, and I left my second job when I saw that the only way to move up in the company was to move to the Midwest. If I’d considered myself to be the primary breadwinner, perhaps I wouldn’t have made those decisions. Although I’m very happy with these decisions, I do wonder what I could be doing professionally now. Then again, if I had stuck with those jobs, I might be wondering what I could be doing for my family or community that I wasn’t.

Who cares what Michelle Obama wears?

Posted on 11. Feb, 2008 by kchristieh in feminism, politics

I enjoyed reading today’s Wall St. Journal front page article about Michelle Obama until I got to the end and read this:

On a recent campaign trip, she wore a classy but edgy black suit with an intricate white starched blouse. It was perfect for fund-raisers she attended at private homes in Manhattan and Greenwich, Conn., but less so for a meeting with working women at a Stamford, Conn., diner.

WHO CARES?!?!? I don’t care what Michelle, Hillary, Barack or Bill wear. Unless they’re parading around in a SpongeBob costume, I’m sure they’re trying their best.

This is so jr. high. I feel for Michelle: I’ve definitely worn the wrong thing on occasion. I remember wearing a skirt that was a tad too grungy to a fancy country club lunch last spring. And how about those working women in Stamford? Aren’t they good enough for a white starched blouse? (see pic above)

Let’s cut the fashion talk and stick to the issues.

(Although there’s still a part of me that rolls my eyes every time a candidate wears a hard hat.)

Here’s the best gift for your wife or girlfriend

Posted on 24. Nov, 2007 by kchristieh in books, feminism, shopping

Not sure what to get that special lady in your life? Here’s the perfect gift.
I promise you, the book to the right is rated strictly PG. I picked it up at a local store yesterday, and found it to be so hilarious that I purchased it for an upcoming holiday gift exchange.

Here’s what you guys need to do:

2. Read and study the book
3. Attach a handwritten note to the book that says something like,
   “Honey, I read this book cover to cover, and I’ll do my best to satisfy all your fantasies.”
4. Wrap the gift with pretty pink wrapping paper
5. Attach a chocolate to the outside

She’ll be putty in your hands!

Here are what a few of the inner spreads look like:

I’ve heard that studies have found that what many women want most is time. If that’s the case, then the men in this book totally understand that. You can too…

Which is worse: “slut” or “prude”?

Posted on 03. Nov, 2007 by kchristieh in books, feminism, parenting, politics

This week I created two new websites for Carol Platt Liebau. The first site highlights her new book, Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, too!). Here’s how her website describes the book:

What do Britney Spears, “Laguna Beach,” and the best-selling Gossip Girl books all have in common?

Commentator Carol Platt Liebau cites all as contributors to our culture’s oversexualization. Such examples cue America’s young girls to believe that sexiness trumps intelligence and character at even the highest levels of influence and power.

Liebau argues that relaxed attitudes toward sexuality are damaging girls in their formative years and ultimately harming America by increasing social ills. “Once upon a time,” Liebau writes, “’slut’ was one of the greatest insults. But now, being a ‘prude’ is deemed to be even worse.”

Once I finished that site, I revamped Carol’s personal site, CarolLiebau.com. She’s a prolific writer and political commentator, so her site is full of links to articles that she’s written. It was fun to make the two sites complement each other.

I know Carol through her husband, Jack, who was in my college class. I’d always wanted to get to know her better, and am glad to finally have the chance to do so.

You can hear an interview with Carol about her book at: Heading Right Radio (Captain Ed). Prude is also going to be featured on Dr. Laura’s program next week.

I look forward to reading Prude. Carol’s right: there are many movies, tv shows, books and fashions that encourage blatant sexuality. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep them out of our household. Thankfully, I don’t think my community has a problem with girls or women dressing or behaving promiscuously, so there’s not pressure for my daughter or I to do so. I’m also glad that the current fashion for girls here is to layer shirts, not wear low cut jeans and short tops. It makes it so much easier to shop for clothes with my daughter!

Companies with more women on their boards perform better

Posted on 06. Oct, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, startling statistics, work

From workforce.com:

Companies with more women on their boards perform better than those with very few women, according to a study released on Monday, October 1, by Catalyst, a New York-based consultant.

During the four-year span of the reporting for the study, Fortune 500 companies with the highest percentage of women on their boards saw equity returns that were 53 percent higher than those companies with the fewest number of women on their boards.

These companies saw a return on sales that was 42 percent higher than those companies with the least number of women. Similarly, they saw a return on invested capital that was at least 66 percent higher.

“We have established a correlation between diverse boards and strong corporate performance,” says Kara Helander, vice president, Western Region at New York-based Catalyst.

I wonder whether the value of having a diverse board holds true if the board members are of diverse races, religions, ages or other factors? I bet it does, especially in certain industries. The more perspectives we have on decisions, the better those decisions are likely to be.

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Retouching turns kids into dolls

Posted on 13. Aug, 2007 by kchristieh in art, articles, feminism, my life, parenting

The photography studio that takes our school’s class pictures has an option to pay a few extra dollars to have a photo “retouched.” I’ve paid it a few times, figuring that if a stray hair or a blemish is removed, the picture will look much better.

I never imagined that a photo studio would retouch a kid’s photo as much as Pageant Photo Retouching does. You can email a photo to their website, and they’ll do everything from remove drool to add “doll eyes.” Some of the results are downright scary, and the girls (and all the examples they show are girls) wind up looking like porcelain dolls. Here’s one example:

I suppose that if your daughter is in pageants, this must be par for the course. I actually prefer the first picture in this example: although the color is flat, the girl has a more genuine smile.

I shouldn’t be too critical. I’m sure many of us wish we could retouch our driver’s license pictures.

Check out Salon.com for another take on this in “Airbrushing the Baby.”

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Girls gone mild instead of wild

Posted on 10. Aug, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, parenting, religion

If you’re a woman, and especially if you’re the mother of a teenage girl, you can appreciate how difficult it is to dress attractively and yet modestly. There’s actually a group called Pure Fashion which has guidelines which define modest dress. Other than the four-finger rule, I think my daughter and I do pretty well in following them. (Though it’s easier for me to find cute, modest clothes than it is for my daughter.)

I believe that standards of modesty are culturally-based. Clearly, our lack of a veil would render us completely immodest in many Middle Eastern countries. The fact that we insist upon wearing bathing suit tops makes us more modest than many Europeans.

Faith Hill doesn’t need major Photoshopping

Posted on 25. Jul, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, things that bug me, videos

When I see the magazines at the supermarket checkout, I don’t say, “Oooh! I’m inadequate. I don’t look like [fill in the blank].” But subconsciously, my mind is probably logging the cover pictures in the “Standards of Beauty” folder in my brain.

At 39, Faith Hill is one of the more beautiful people who graces these covers. Therefore, it’s disappointing to learn that Redbook magazine went into Photoshop overdrive to alter her photo for its most recent issue.

Here’s the original photo, courtesy of the blog Jezebel:

Here’s the doctored Redbook cover:

Every time I flip back and forth between the two I notice something new. The bags below the eyes disappear, her right arm appears, her waist shrinks, etc. It’s ironic that the subtitle to the story about her is “what’s normal about them (and what’s not).”

The editor-in-chief of Redbook went on the Today show and said that “In the end, they’re not really photographs. They’re images.” Poor Faith! She was used!! (Although I’m sure she was paid handsomely (or prettily?) for this photoshoot.)

So tell your sons and daughters this is all a sham. And try to focus on unloading your cart in the checkout line instead of looking at the magazine covers. I made sure to show this to my country music-fan husband, who said the right thing: that I look just like Faith Hill. Only shorter. And less blonde. And then he stopped. What a great guy!!

See my past blog entry about the Dove commercial which shows how a normal-looking woman can be made to look like a model via makeup, hairstyling and a big dose of Photoshop.

Many thanks to MotherPie for turning me on to this story!

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The veiled truth: being a woman in Saudi Arabia

Posted on 12. Jun, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, feminism, international, politics, things that bug me

At what point do you draw the line between appreciating cultural differences and basic human rights? LA Times reporter Megan Stack found it hard to reconcile trying to respect the culture of Saudi Arabia with its treatment of women. Her account of her four years in the country, In Saudi Arabia, a view from behind the veil, provides a glimpse into how difficult it is to be a woman there. She recounts how women can’t vote, drive or eat in the same parts of restaurants. The religious police enforce these rules and more, and make sure that women are wearing veiled cloaks known as abayas.

This is all done with little complaint from our government:

The rules are different here. The same U.S. government that heightened public outrage against the Taliban by decrying the mistreatment of Afghan women prizes the oil-slicked Saudi friendship and even offers wan praise for Saudi elections in which women are banned from voting. All U.S. fast-food franchises operating here, not just Starbucks, make women stand in separate lines. U.S.-owned hotels don’t let women check in without a letter from a company vouching for her ability to pay; women checking into hotels alone have long been regarded as prostitutes.

She wonders whether she’d be so polite if she were in South Africa during apartheid. She says that many of the women she met in Saudi Arabia were satisfied with their situation.

It’d probably be hard for the Saudi women who are dissatisfied to organize, and even if they could, protesting would be quite dangerous. The only way we’d ever know how Saudi women feel is if they take a vote. But, that’s not going to happen anytime soon. I just wish the U.S. would stop turning a blind eye to a problem just because Saudi Arabia is an ally.

Here’s how I’d see it if I had to wear a veil:

Advantages to wearing a veil:

• Anonymity
• No such thing as a bad hair day
• Don’t have to spend time picking an outfit out
• No need to shave legs
• Spend less on clothes
• Wouldn’t be judged based on looks
• Black looks good on everyone

Disadvantages to wearing a veil:

• Anonymity
• Limited peripheral vision
• Can’t express personality via clothing
• Hot in the summer
• Tough to do athletics
• If it’s not your choice, you could feel inferior, like something to be hidden

Oops! That last reason’s a biggie. “Disadvantages” wins. I’m glad I don’t have to wear a veil, and hope that those who must will have a choice someday.

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If only life were as easy as pie

Posted on 12. May, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, food, movies

That’s the catchy tagline of the great new movie “Waitress,” which I had the pleasure of seeing this evening at the Laemmle Theater in Pasadena. Keri Russell does a magnificent job portraying a young waitress stuck in a dreadful marriage who finds out she’s pregnant. She’s an expert pie baker, however, and her daily custom pies are the hit of the diner where she works and finds support from a beloved cast of characters.

I was completely blubbering at the end. It was so touching, and had some great life lessons about unhealthy relationships and independence. It’s PG-13, but it might be best for mature 15 and older, especially girls. But men should like it – my husband loved it.

We wanted to eat pie afterwards, but we couldn’t think of any worthy pie shops. We wound up at Penguins. Lucky it isn’t the 17th, as they’re closing down that day to shoot a movie. Ah, life in Lalaland…

Where women can’t vote

Posted on 18. Apr, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, international, politics

There are only two locations where law prohibits women from voting. Here’s an excerpt from today’s WiseGeek newsletter:

In Saudi Arabia and Vatican City, women are not allowed to vote by law. The only elections held in Vatican City are papal conclaves, which traditionally include a body of all-male Cardinals. If the Catholic Church ever allows women to be Cardinals, presumably they will participate in these conclaves as well, creating the possibility of a female Pope. In Saudi Arabia, women’s rights are severely restricted. Elections were held in Saudi Arabia in 2005 for the first time in 60 years, but women were not included in the proceedings.

There are other places where education, tradition, and lack of electoral system prevents women and others from voting. Thankfully, pressure from the United Nations and other international organizations is helping to shrink this list each year.

Too bad those who can vote don’t always appreciate it!

Heart attack symptoms

Posted on 28. Mar, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, health, life lessons

If I don’t post this, I’ll feel incredibly guilty if anyone reading this blog dies unnecessarily of a heart attack, especially after the previous post:

As the American Heart Association notes:

“As with men, women’s most common heart attack symptom is chest pain or discomfort. But women are somewhat more likely than men to experience some of the other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting, and back or jaw pain.” Source

A woman should have…

Posted on 27. Mar, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, life lessons

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. 
     enough money within her control to move out 
     and rent a place of her own even if she never wants 
     to or needs to… 
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. 
     something perfect to wear if the employer or 
     date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour… 
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
     a youth she’s content to leave behind…. 

(more…)

It ain’t your momma’s PTA

Posted on 23. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, education, feminism, my life, parenting, things that bug me, work

My mom says that my NJ elementary school’s PTA raised several hundred dollars a year in the early 70’s. Oh, how times have changed! Today’s NYTimes article by Winnie Hu, , says that some PTAs in the NY area have budgets of $45,000 or more. That’s a fraction of what some of our town’s PTAs raise to try to make up for all the programs and services that have been cut back since Californians passed Proposition 13 in 1978. When you add what our Educational Foundation, Boosters and other groups raise, a significant percentage of our school district’s budget comes from parent donations.

As the article points out, you can’t make that kind of money if PTA meetings are just a fashion show. Many suburban towns have a very talented pool of working and non-working parents (mostly moms) who bring a high level of professionalism to their assigned tasks. They continually raise the bar, which is wonderful but also challenging to those who come behind them. When I was an elementary school PTA president, I had about 90 board and committee chair positions under me. From the art docent chair who organized a parent to teach art lessons in each classroom each month to the carnival chair who raised tens of thousands of dollars on a single event, I was blessed with a board that could have run a Fortune 500 company. Being our president is much easier, since we don’t have as many activities, but the people who work with me are just as qualified.

The article says that parents are often an annoyance to administrators and teachers, letting districts know what they think needs to be changed. I see how that can be annoying, but I also see that some good things can happen when you push people out of their complacency. Parents who have worked in the business world, where bad ideas can be thrown out and poorly performing workers can be fired, get very frustrated at the bureaucratic walls they find in school districts and the educational codes they need to follow.

Some of the parents the reporter talked to said they thought their PTAs were run by cliques. I can see how that can happen – when you want a job done, you’re more likely to turn to someone you know can do it well. Still, that doesn’t make it right. I try to open things up by publicizing volunteer opportunities via our printed newsletter and my regular emails, which go to over 1,000 parents. We’ve had good success in getting some new faces to volunteer for jobs, and at least when they don’t, we know they had the chance to.

Of course, if I really cared about my career, I wouldn’t admit that I’m a PTA president. Yesterday’s NY Times article, Mom’s Mad. And She’s Organized, relates how working moms are organizing to fight for their rights. Here’s the part that I could relate to the most:

But many studies indicate that, legal or not, a woman’s status as a mother hurts her at work.

In one study, to be published next month in the American Journal of Sociology, Cornell researchers sent out résumés and cover letters to real employers for hypothetical job applicants. All had the same credentials, but the packages included subtle cues to indicate that some of the applicants were parents. (For example, a résumé might note that an applicant was an officer in a parent-teacher association.)

The goal was to find out if employers are less likely to pursue an interview if they find out that a candidate is a parent, said Shelley Correll, an associate professor of sociology at Cornell, who helped conduct the study. And the answer was “yes for mothers, no for fathers.”

I’ve remarked lately that I seem to not be able to charge as much on my own for a website as I can when I have my older, taller, male business partner bid on them. It’s frustrating, but a 40-something mom is sometimes just not the image people have of someone they want to design their website. So much for my degrees, experience and talent! Anyway, I’ll check out the site this article refers to, MomsRising.org. And of course, I’ll keep trying hard to prove I can do it as well as any 22-year-old male recent art/technical school grad…

The clipart above is courtesy of http://www.larryjonesillustration.com/

Studious and the Stud

Posted on 02. Jan, 2007 by kchristieh in feminism, things that bug me, tv

Forget “Beauty & the Geek” – it’s too sexist. Why is the beauty always a woman, and the geek always a man? Why are they mutually exclusive anyway?

I think there should be a show called “Studious & the Stud,” where the woman is the geek and the man is the beauty.

You heard it here first…

 

 

 

 

My brain has NOT turned to mush!

Posted on 31. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, feminism, my life, parenting

I’m sure there are people out there who think a stay-at-home mom, especially a soccer mom (why does that term demean so much?) must have turned her brain off the minute she put the work suit in the closet. How wrong they are!

No matter what age my kids have been, and no matter whether I’ve worked part-time, full-time or no-time for money, I’ve always grown through my roles in the family and in the community.

Kelley Holland’s eloquent NY Times article, Among Your Qualifications, an M.B.A. at Household U., lists some of the business skills that parenting can develop:

Parents need to master various skills, including quick decision- making in a changing environment (what to serve in two minutes once oatmeal is no longer an option), negotiating (coaxing a young child into snow boots in time for the school bus), and synthesizing information (if a daughter goes to gymnastics, her brother has to be dropped off early for soccer so the grocery shopping can be done).

They also learn to motivate teams (let’s have a playroom cleanup game!) and to multitask (doing laundry while the chicken roasts and soccer practices are coordinated). And they praise real effort at any level, whether it’s a toddler’s painstakingly balanced tower of blocks or a preteen’s carefully drawn poster for a school election. Communication, time management and analytical skills can also be honed at home.

“Raising children is a developmental experience and you gain workplace skills from it,” said Marian N. Ruderman of the Center for Creative Leadership, a research and training organization based in Greensboro, N.C. “If you can negotiate between two kids when you’re driving, you can negotiate at work, she added.There’s no question in my mind about that.”

I completely agree. I could assemble an amazing business team from among the talented stay-at-home parents I know in this community. In fact, I have – they’re on my PTA board! We won’t be taking over the business world any time soon, however, because we want to spend more time at our current job.

Middle school girls gone wild?

Posted on 29. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in education, feminism, my life, parenting, things that bug me

Today my mom asked me what my daughter wants for her birthday. I told her she might like to go clothing shopping, and that my mom didn’t need to worry since the styles are such now that she wouldn’t spend the whole time arguing about showing skin.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble.

In today’s NY Times editorial “Middle School Girls Gone Wild“, Lawrence Downes recounts what it was like to watch the talent show at his daughter’s middle school.

They writhe and strut, shake their bottoms, splay their legs, thrust their chests out and in and out again. Some straddle empty chairs, like lap dancers without laps. They don’t smile much. Their faces are locked from grim exertion, from all that leaping up and lying down without poles to hold onto. “Don’t stop don’t stop,” sings Janet Jackson, all whispery. “Jerk it like you’re making it choke. …Ohh. I’m so stimulated. Feel so X-rated.” The girls spend a lot of time lying on the floor. They are in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades.

As each routine ends, parents and siblings cheer, whistle and applaud. I just sit there, not fully comprehending. It’s my first suburban Long Island middle school talent show. I’m with my daughter, who is 10 and hadn’t warned me. I’m not sure what I had expected, but it wasn’t this. It was something different. Something younger. Something that didn’t make the girls look so … one-dimensional.

Wow. That’s quite different from my impressions from the middle school talent shows I’ve seen over the last three years. My most vivid memory from them is of incredibly talented violinists and pianists, with a few rock bands and “Stomp” imitation groups thrown in. Of course, our school has tryouts for the talent show, so it’s possible that some groups are turned away. But, I’ve not heard of that happening. Maybe California isn’t as wild as it used to be…or maybe it’s just .

In any case, if our talent show was anything like what Downes describes, I’d be sad too. Young girls shouldn’t be acting like that, but then again, older females shouldn’t either. Sometimes I wonder what parents are thinking. Or, if they’re taking the time to think at all. Oops! Did the PTA president just say that? I don’t see girls dressed trashy around here, but I do see other things happening that I can’t believe. More about that another time, perhaps…

 

How to transform an ordinary woman into a top model

Posted on 09. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, feminism, life lessons, parenting

Check out this great YouTube video that shows how hair, makeup and Photoshop can transform an ordinary woman into a top model. It’s part of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, and highlights the Dove Self-Esteem Fund.

If you like this, you might also like the other videos in the series:

Eleanor Roosevelt, yesterday and today

Posted on 07. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in feminism, politics

Eleanor Roosevelt died 44 years ago today. Here’s a Six Chix cartoon in her honor:

Why aren’t we shocked by these costumes?

Posted on 16. Oct, 2006 by kchristieh in feminism, things that bug me

Two NY Times editorials today point out that women and girls have a long way to go before they are respected as much as men.

Bob Herbert asks in “Why Aren’t We Shocked?” why it is that there wasn’t a great outcry that several of the recent school shootings specifically targeted girls. Imagine if it were Blacks, Whites or Jews that were targeted? It would be called a hate crime – which is what it is – and there would be a great outcry.

None of that occurred because these were just girls, and we have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that violence against females is more or less to be expected. Stories about the rape, murder and mutilation of women and girls are staples of the news, as familiar to us as weather forecasts. The startling aspect of the Pennsylvania attack was that this terrible thing happened at a school in Amish country, not that it happened to girls.

The disrespectful, degrading, contemptuous treatment of women is so pervasive and so mainstream that it has just about lost its ability to shock.

He’s right. We’re surrounded by misogynistic images, to such a point that we don’t even notice it much anymore.

Allison Glock noticed this when she went Halloween costume shopping for herself at her local Target. In “Halloween on Heels“, she tells about how hard it is to find a women’s costume that isn’t sexy:

I walked past the displays for the sexy devil and the sexy bunny and the sexy leopard which, confounding logic, was already sold out before happening upon the wall of full adult costumes. The first was Tavern Lady, an off-the-shoulder dress and faux-leather vest. It was followed by French Maid (ruffled mini-dress with matching headpiece), Cheerleader (pleated micro-mini and fitted vest) and Wonder Woman, which had not only a nearly invisible skirt but also red vinyl boot covers that reached to the thigh.

At $49.99, Wonder Woman was among the priciest costumes, along with the Geisha both $20 more than Stewardess, which consisted only of a polyester wrap dress with a plunging neckline.

A quick trip to Wal-Mart and Kmart revealed the same dubious selections. While the hemlines were slightly lower on the Kmart French Maid and Cheerleader, Wal-Mart hewed to form with a saucy Red Riding Hood and a naughty rag doll, advertising a sultry vinyl bodice and thigh highs … lollipop not included.

She’s absolutely right. At least she can still get children’s costumes for her young daughters. Good luck trying to find an appropriate outfit for a teenage girl!

Maybe I’ll have my daughter wear my big fuzzy Snoopy outfit this year. Just kidding. She has a Minnie Mouse outfit she can wear again.

How can we stop this trend? Maybe if people would stop buying these things, the companies would stop selling them or using misogynistic images to market them. We can each do our part. One prime place to avoid, of course, is Abercrombie & Fitch. Bob Herbert points out that one of their girls’ t-shirts says, Who needs a brain when you have these? Yuk.

Jane Goodall should leave the jungle and come to our high school

Posted on 27. Sep, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, education, feminism, my life, parenting, things that bug me

She would have a field day researching the over-the-top rituals some teens engage in just to ask another kid to a big dance. Our local high school’s homecoming dance takes place in a few weeks, and for many kids it’s no longer enough for a boy to merely ask a girl over the phone. Asking in person is better, but the best is when the boy comes up with an elaborate display of his ardor to convince a girl to say yes. It’s like they’re peacocks or something! Not only that, but if a girl knows in advance that a boy is going to ask them, she feels pressure to have a batch of cookies or cupcakes baked for him.

Stop right now! There’s so much wrong with this picture.

• Since when did our girls feel entitled to royal treatment? Is it the Disney Princess Syndrome? I’ve told my daughter to respect any way a boy might ask her, as it takes a lot of courage to ask.
• How do you top it? When a boy lavishes so much effort on a homecoming dance freshman year, what’s he going to have to do for senior prom?
• Maybe I’m a liberated product of the 70’s, but is anyone else even slightly surprised that boys have to ask girls? Why can’t the girls ask the boys? Maybe our town is too conservative for that.
• The pressure isn’t just on the boys: imagine how a girl would look if she said “no” after such a display. I think I heard once about a woman who said “no” after her boyfriend asked her to marry her by posting it on the big screen at a major league baseball game, but that’s rare. Ouch!

My 9th grade daughter hasn’t been asked yet, but I’ve told her to respect any way that she’s asked, if she’s asked. And no, I won’t allow her to make cupcakes. Ridiculous.

For further reading, there was a great LA Times article on the topic last year. It even quoted my friend Mo:

Mo Hurlbutt, the mother of five children ages 13 to 23, joked that the elaborateness of invitations to formal dances, including prom, can be “borderline crazy.”
 
One of her daughters was invited to prom by a boyfriend who filled her bedroom with balloons. Another was asked by a boy after a comedy sketch onstage.
 
“It’s almost become part of their culture,” said Hurlbutt, a La Cañada Flintridge resident.
 
“It’s a little intimidating for the guys,” Hurlbutt said. “Personally, I don’t know what’s wrong with a phone call. But I have been out of high school for many years.”

High school. What an adventure!

Saudi ban on pictures of women

Posted on 24. Jun, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, cool websites, feminism, politics, religion

Check out MotherPie’s posting about King Abdullah asking for a ban on photos of women. She links to an article on Aljazeera.net that says,

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has told newspaper editors to stop publishing pictures of women as they could lead young men astray.

After a meeting with editors on Monday, the king was reported in the Saudi media as saying that “one needs to think if he would want his daughter, sister or wife to appear like that. Of course, no one would”.

How sad - not publishing pictures of women is one more step in erasing them from active culture.

On the other hand, Western portrayals of women are often disrespectful. If a girl only gains her sense of self from some of our culture’s most popular magazines, she’d have a pretty poor body image and think her purpose was to be an object for men.

The best solution lies somewhere in between – show pictures, but be respectful. MotherPie (love that name!) also quotes Wendy Shallit, author of Modest Extremes: Why an Observant Jew Understands Sexuality Better Than Hugh Hefner:

It all begs the question: If doing away with modesty was supposed to be liberating, why is the sex now so bad? Why should men and women be further apart than ever?

To me, the essential confusion comes down to mistaking modesty for shame. If you think sexuality should be private, goes the prevailing view, then you must be ashamed of it. You must be a prude. Conversely, if you are “comfortable with your sexuality,” then you should be “cool”…

In truth, the real reason for sexual modesty is not shame, but an awareness of how precious we are. Smirk at that statement if you will, but the fact remains: It is a rare dog that desires a candlelit dinner before mating. On the other hand, it is a rare human who can have a one-night stand without feeling at least a twinge of guilt afterward. And, howls of protest from vested interests notwithstanding, most men know that their most intimate relationships should not be with their computer browsers.

Gee, at this rate I’m probably not going to be welcome to visit China or Saudi Arabia. Wonder if there are any other countries I can offend?