Angel Investor

Posted on 29. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, international

Angel Peralta has repaid half of his loan! Woohoo! Longtime readers may remember that I lent him some money via Kiva to get his grocery business going. (see posting) I just received an email from Kiva stating that Angel has repaid $525 of his $1050 loan. I only lent him $25 of that, and I get my money credited to my account once the loan is fully repaid.

Of course, I was so inspired by hearing about Angel’s repayment that I decided to help fund some other ventures. You can see them by clicking here. All of these people appear to be very diligent and entrepreneurial. The picture to the right shows Yadira Pita, who makes decorations for social events. She’s going to use her money to buy more supplies. Her request is now fully funded, but there are many others that still need money.

I can’t wait to find out how all these people do. Everyone deserves a chance to succeed.

Movie, tv, videogame, book & music reviews for parents

Posted on 28. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, movies, music, parenting, shopping, tv, videos

By the way, I have a new blog page: Movie, tv, videogame, book & music reviews for parents.

I wrote a PTA president newsletter column on the topic, so I thought I’d copy it here and include links. Even though it’s a junior high PTA, the links apply to children of all ages.

I was prompted to write it due to the many discussions I had with parents who were wondering whether to let their kids see the new “Borat” movie. After reading the reviews I link to, I decided not to. To each his own…

Go ahead, block my driveway, I’m not going anywhere anyway

Posted on 27. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in my life

Last night’s rain washed away months of LA dust and pollen, so now the sparkly sunshine is dancing off the hood of my neighbor’s car, which is blocking my driveway. It’s parked right under the “No Parking This Side of Street” sign. A tow truck came awhile ago but didn’t succeed in towing it away. Three Sheriff’s deputies and the neighbor’s mama talked about it for awhile, but nothing happened.

Now, the neighbor is pacing as he talks on his cellphone.

Such is the view from my office. I really should get some work done.

Akeelah & the Bee movie

Posted on 26. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in education, movies, videos

How do you spell great movie?
“A-K-E-E-L-A-H” My daughter and I finally saw “Akeelah & the Bee” the other night with my mother and stepfather. (My husband, who says that watching one spelling bee movie a year (“Spellbound”) is enough for him, had left my parents’ earlier in the day with my son for a soccer tournament.)

It was a terrific movie – great acting, great story, and inspirational. Too bad it’s fictional! It’s about an 11-year-old girl, Akeelah, who lives in a tough part of Los Angeles. She’s a great speller, so her teacher encourages her to enter the school spelling bee. She’s so talented and driven that she can go anywhere, but she doesn’t get much encouragement at home. The movie focuses on what it takes to succeed, and how not only do you need to work hard, but you’ve got to want it for yourself. Since we watched it on DVD, we were also able to enjoy the special features that explained the making of the movie, deleted scenes, and more.

There are lots of young “Akeelahs” out there…if only every kid could find their purpose!

Living Air Purifier is Officially Dead

Posted on 26. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in health, my life, things that bug me

We finally threw out our Living Air Purifier the other day. We hadn’t used it in about three years. It was expensive, but I’d purchased it since the local representatives selling it were giving a percentage of each sale to the LCF Educational Foundation, and we had a weird smell emanating from our family room rug or couch. It got rid of the smell, but within 5 months of using it 3 out of 4 of our family members were diagnosed with some form of asthma. Also, when we left it on once when we went on vacation, we returned home to shaving cream cans that had exploded and elastic in our clothing that had stiffened and was useless.

I could have sold it on eBay, but I’d have felt guilty putting it in someone else’s house.

Bored people are boring

Posted on 25. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, my life, parenting, things that bug me

You can only imagine how well it went over when my mom told an unnamed family member, “Bored people are boring people.” Incredibly enough, I’d never heard that before, but a Google search shows that’s a pretty common expression. It sounded cliche at the time, but the more I think about it, the truer I think it is.I also think that “Bored people tend to be whiners.” Ouch! But, they expect the world to entertain them, and when it doesn’t they complain. 

So get up off your rear and DO something! There’s actually a website called Bored.com for people who need short breaks from boredom. It looks pretty silly. If you can’t find any good reading material, try helping someone nearby.

Or write future blog entries.

Forget the mall – buy a sheep!

Posted on 24. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, international, my life, religion, shopping

Sick of long lines and big credit card bills in the pursuit of a gift that will soon be forgotten anyway?

Then check out www.lcpcChristmas.org. I just put the finishing touches on the La Canada Presbyterian Church Christmas Market page, so now you can purchase items such as school supplies, blankets and sheep for people that really need them. It’s a great way to give directly, or give in someone’s name. In the past we’ve given in honor of my grandparents, and given them a gift card telling them about it. It’s fun to choose a special gift you know they’d like to give themselves.

If you’re not convinced, read this terrific essay titled “My Days Are Numbered” by Rick Moranis from Tuesday’s NY Times. It highlights the folly of American consumption. Here’s an excerpt:

I HAVE two kids. Both are away at college.

I have five television sets. (I like to think of them as a set of five televisions.) I have two DVR boxes, three DVD players, two VHS machines and four stereos.

I have nineteen remote controls, mostly in one drawer.

I have three computers, four printers and two non-working faxes.

I have three phone lines, three cell phones and two answering machines.

I have no messages.

I have forty-six cookbooks.

I have sixty-eight takeout menus from four restaurants.

I have one hundred and sixteen soy sauce packets.

I have three hundred and eighty-two dishes, bowls, cups, saucers, mugs and glasses.

I eat over the sink.

A world of contrasts

Posted on 23. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in international, politics, religion

I bet that other countries don’t have Doggie Day Camps like we do. My daughter and I happened upon one the other day at the Pasadena PetSmart when we went dog food shopping. There’s a room in the back of the store filled with dogs, with one human in the midst of them to make sure they behave. I tried to take a picture, but the human made hand motions for me not to before my flash could charge. I felt like a paparazzi: maybe Tom Cruise’s dog was there or something.

Doggie Day Camp costs $22 a day, and is only open in the daytime. The dogs there looked relatively happy, though a bit bored. Some were passing the time sniffing each other, and others pawed at the windows, eager for more human contact. I guess that if you lived in an apartment it might be good to put your dog in daycare, but it sure would get expensive!

What a contrast to the world of an IDP (Indigenous Displaced Person) in Burma or Darfur. I got an email the other day from the Free Burma Rangers that had pictures of barefoot children escaping from their village with their most prized possession: their chickens.

The Burma Army is continuing to attack Karen villagers in Toungoo District, northwestern Karen State. Burma Army troops are murdering villagers and porters, burning down houses and farms, looting and destroying property, and using forced labor. These actions are part of a Burma Army offensive against the people of the three northern districts of Karen State (Toungoo, Nyaunglebin, and Mutraw) that has already displaced more than 20,000 people.

Or, consider this from the SaveDarfur website:

Darfur has been embroiled in a deadly conflict for over three years.  At least 400,000 people have been killed; more than 2 million innocent civilians have been forced to flee their homes and now live in displaced-persons camps in Sudan or in refugee camps in neighboring Chad; and more than 3.5 million men, women, and children are completely reliant on international aid for survival. Not since the Rwandan genocide of 1994 has the world seen such a calculated campaign of displacement, starvation, rape, and mass slaughter.

Which would you rather be: an American dog, or a Burmese or Sudanese refugee?

We have so much to be thankful for, and so much yet to accomplish…

4th birthday celebration turns violent

Posted on 22. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, parenting

If you live in Pomona, it’s not even safe to play in your front yard anymore. On Sunday night, Ethan Esparza went out front to retrieve the toy truck he’d just received for his 4th birthday when a man jumped out of an SUV and shot him and fellow partygoers. He died in his mother’s arms. According to the LA Times,

They scattered — with Ethan going into his mother’s room. Alma Torres, 25, found him moments later on the floor, gasping for air, blood coming from his mouth.

She hugged her boy as he stared at her with silent, pleading eyes. She begged him to stay.

“He looked at me like, ‘Help me, Mommy. Make everything OK,’ ” Torres said Tuesday, sobbing. “He wouldn’t even cry. What I saw when my son died was fear. He was scared. I think he suffered a lot. He didn’t want to die.”

Ethan’s mother has been looking to her own mother for support:

“I want to go with him, Mom,” she said to her mother. “I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and not see him.”

Del Pilar Torres responded in Spanish that her grandson “looked up to see God.”

She took her daughter in her arms and rocked her. The grandmother has her own small child, 4-year-old Gabriel, and in desperation, she told her daughter she could have Gabriel, that he could be her son.

Then she made her devastated daughter a promise.

“Don’t cry, my princess. He’s going to visit you in a dream, I swear to you,” she said, her voice cracking with pain, her hands caressing her child’s face. “It’s going to be a beautiful dream, my princess, I swear! And he’s going to tell you you’ll see him again.” 

What kind of monster would do this? It’s a reminder that evil does exist.

Boys are so easy

Posted on 22. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, food, my life, parenting

Recipe for the ideal 13th birthday party for a boy:

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 birthday boy
• 7 boy guests
• 1 gaming system (preferably a Nintendo Wii, but since that didn’t make it here the GameCube had to suffice)
• 4 game controllers
• At least 4 Nintendo DS systems
• 2 of each of the following: large pizzas, pies, gallons of ice cream, boxes of Eggo waffles, liters of soda, bags of M&Ms
• 13 candles. But 12 is fine if they come in boxes of 12, since you can still make a smiley face when you stick them in the pie, and what really matters is the pie they’re stuck in.
• 1 DVD set of the 8th season of the Simpsons
• 1 air hockey table
• 1 can of Tag
• 1 patient mother

DIRECTIONS:

1. Move all furniture aside
2. Plug gaming system into larger tv
3. Turn on loud metal music
4. Eat constantly
5. Play one of the following at all times: videogame, Simpsons, air hockey
6. If air gets too stinky, be prepared for a boy to spray Tag liberally
7. Sleep for 6 hours
8. Repeat until parents pick up

The NJ man in the elevator

Posted on 21. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in my life

As we entered the elevator at the South Lake Ave. Macy’s yesterday, an older man entered before us and said, “I was here first!” I said, “Yes you were!” and was ready to leave it at that when he said something to the effect of , “Sorry for my rudeness, but I’m from New Jersey.” Of course, I was intrigued: I grew up in NJ. So, I asked him where he was from. “Red Bank.” Well, that’s where I was married, where my Dad works, and is just a town away from where I grew up.

We wound up talking for a few minutes about how he’s visiting his daughter in Pasadena, and he and his wife are considering retiring here. I encouraged him to, and told him about how much I love living here. I wonder if our chance meeting will help him make his decision.

My kids weren’t at all surprised that I’d talk to this guy. After all, I proved a long time ago that I wasn’t shy when I struck up a conversation with a stranger in a dorm elevator. I’ve been married to him now for nearly 20 years…

My new personal DJ

Posted on 19. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, music

Wouldn’t it be great if you could tell someone the name of one of your favorite songs or musicians and they’d pick other songs that sound similar?

That’s what Pandora does. This free website allows you to enter the name of an artist or song and it starts playing songs it thinks you’d like. Then, you have the choice to give it a thumb-up or a thumbs-down. If you give it a thumbs-down, it automatically moves to the next song. If you like a song, you can also click on a link to purchase it on either iTunes or Amazon.

So far I’ve made mixes for Jack Johnson and “Jesus Was a Crossmaker” by The Hollies. Pandora’s song suggestions are nearly all perfect, and I’ve found a bunch of great musicians I’d never heard of. In particular, I need to check out the group Dispatch.

This is all part of The Music Genome Project:

Together we set out to capture the essence of music at the most fundamental level. We ended up assembling literally hundreds of musical attributes or “genes” into a very large Music Genome. Taken together these genes capture the unique and magical musical identity of a song – everything from melody, harmony and rhythm, to instrumentation, orchestration, arrangement, lyrics, and of course the rich world of singing and vocal harmony. It’s not about what a band looks like, or what genre they supposedly belong to, or about who buys their records – it’s about what each individual song sounds like.

Over the past 6 years, we’ve carefully listened to the songs of over 10,000 different artists – ranging from popular to obscure – and analyzed the musical qualities of each song one attribute at a time. This work continues each and every day as we endeavor to include all the great new stuff coming out of studios, clubs and garages around the world.

New or struggling musicians have got to love this as much as I do! However, it shows how difficult it is to make it as a musician – there are so many good ones I’ve never even heard of before today!

The big question is: will I let my son enter “Metallica”? Hmmm…

I can’t believe it’s November

Posted on 19. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in environment, my life

It’s 100 degrees outside. It was 102 degrees a few minutes ago. Imagine how hot it would get if the days were longer! It’s so weird to hear about the Car Talk “Prepare for Winter” shows.

Maybe I’ll go outside and swim. Then again, maybe I’ll just sit here and pay more bills as I listen to the musical selections my personal DJ has chosen for me. (More about that in the next post.)

Hopefully more will be accomplished

Posted on 19. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in politics, quotes

NY Times Quote of the Day:

“We control both chambers now, so it is difficult for us to have an excuse for not doing anything.”
SENATOR BARACK OBAMA, Democrat of Illinois, on proposals for an ethics overhaul in Congress.

Darfur, Iraq, education, healthcare, environment…the list goes on. I’ll be impressed if anything good gets done. It’s been awhile…

You grunt, you’re gone

Posted on 18. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, health, my life, sports

Here’s a problem we never have at Curves: grunting. A patron was recently kicked out of a Planet Fitness gym in New York because he was grunting. The gym has a no-grunting policy, and says it doesn’t want to intimidate any of its patrons who may not be serious bodybuilders. It also discourages bandannas, banging weights and jeans. When there’s a violator, they’re not quietly asked to stop. Instead, today’s NY Times says that

At Planet Fitness gyms, grunters and other rule-breakers are treated to an ear-rattling siren with flashing blue lights and a public scolding. The “lunk alarm,” as the club calls it, is so jarring it can bring the entire floor to a standstill. (A lunk is defined, on a poster, as “one who grunts, drops weights, or judges.”)

How humiliating! Very ironic for a gym that bills itself as “The Judgement Free Zone.” They need the 40 Developmental Assets, I think! Anyway, thankfully we don’t have this problem at the La Canada Curves. None of us grunt, care what anyone dresses in (although Edwina does have the cutest sneakers!) or drop weights. Sometimes we ask Leslie to change the CD so that we don’t have to listen to country music, but that’s as controversial as it gets. Just my speed for 6 am.

One is the loneliest number

Posted on 17. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, my life

Other than being severely ill, there are few things I’d rather not be than lonely. I appreciate some “alone time”, for sure, but I’d hate not to have friends and relatives to accompany me on life’s journey. Thankfully, I’m blessed with wonderful relationships.

According to yesterday’s Christianity Today article, Look at All the Lonely People, an increasing number of Americans report that they’re lonely.

As of 2004, the average American had just two close friends, compared with three in 1985. Those reporting no confidants at all jumped from 10 percent to 25 percent. Even the share of Americans reporting a healthy circle of four or five friends had plunged from 33 percent to just over 15 percent.

Increasingly, those whom we consider close friends – if we have any – are household members, not people who “bind us to community and neighborhood.” Our wider social connections seem to be shriveling like a turkey left too long in the oven.

Why is this? Are people too busy to make friends? Personally, I don’t buy that excuse. Even back in the PE (Pre-Email) days when I commuted to a far-off cubicle, or went on the road to client offices for weeks or months at a time, I was always able to make and maintain relationships.

Here’s Christianity Today’s theory:

Perhaps the same thing that is sabotaging marriage is undermining friendship: our increasing unwillingness to commit to relationships that require sacrifice, mutual accountability, and a generous share of humility. That refusal is often not so much willful as fearful. Back in the ’60s, cultural critics Simon and Garfunkel noted the temptation to what is now innocuously called cocooning: “I’ve built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.”

I wonder if that’s why my mother-in-law never had a friend in the 20 years that I knew her. Seriously. It was so alien to me, and so sad.

On the other hand, there was a fascinating NY Times story yesterday about our need for personal space. In In Certain Circles, Two Is a Crowd, Stephanie Rosenbloom reports that

According to scientists, personal space involves not only the invisible bubble around the body, but all the senses. People may feel their space is being violated when they experience an unwelcome sound, scent or stare: the woman on the bus squawking into her cellphone, the co-worker in the adjacent cubicle dabbing on cologne, or the man in the sandwich shop leering at you over his panini.

But whether people have become more protective of their personal space is difficult to say. Studies show people tend to adapt, even in cities, which are likely to grow ever more crowded based on population projections.

Apparently Americans require more personal space than people in other cultures. I agree. As much as I love my fellow human beings, I’d get completely stressed out if I had to live in a crowded city in India. Thankfully, I’ve got lots of personal space here.

Isn’t it sad that you can be surrounded by people, and yet still be lonely?

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads

Posted on 16. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in books, education, parenting

We held our first Book Club meeting this evening! We discussed by Rosalind Wiseman and Elizabeth Rapoport. At first I was a little disappointed that we only had five people, but we wound up having a terrific discussion that wound up touching on most of the issues in the book. I enjoyed getting to know some neat new people and to get to know others even better!

Someone said one of the nicest things ever to me: she said I’m not a Queen Bee. That means a lot to me.

It’s a good day for beef critters

Posted on 14. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, food, health, videos

Cows, aka “beef critters“, are featured prominently in two emails I received today.

The first was a Washington Post article titled Breast Cancer Risk Linked To Red Meat, Study Finds.

The study of more than 90,000 women found that the more red meat the women consumed in their 20s, 30s and 40s, the greater their risk for developing breast cancer fueled by hormones in the next 12 years. Those who consumed the most red meat had nearly twice the risk of those who ate red meat infrequently.

That’s the kind of breast cancer my mom had, so I’m taking notice!

The second is a great little that takes a hamburger backwards through the manufacturing system. It’s pretty disgusting. But, it also begs the question: is chicken any better? I’m not about to become a vegetarian, so I don’t want to find out that’s incredibly bad too!

“Show the world what’s possible!”

Posted on 13. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, my life

That’s the motto of Daryn Kagan’s new website. It’s full of inspirational stories about people who have surmounted obstacles to achieve their dreams or dedicated themselves to making the world a better place. Today’s main story features a double amputee who’s training for the Ironman Triathlon.

Daryn was the first person I met from my college class. I met her when I visited a friend in LA at the end of my senior year in high school. Daryn wound up rooming with a friend of mine, Sandra, who is now contributing stories to Daryn’s website. It is a small world after all…

Sergeant York

Posted on 12. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in movies, politics

Several months ago, I entered some movies from the AFI List Of  100 Most Inspiring Films Of All Time onto our Tivo. It wasn’t surprising that (1941) showed up yesterday, Veteran’s Day. The whole family watched it together, and we all loved it.

If you’re not familiar with the movie, Gary Cooper plays a wild Tennessee country boy who becomes a Christian and tries to avoid serving in WWI since he’s a conscientious objector. He eventually comes around, however, and winds up serving with incredible distinction. If the TMC host hadn’t introduced the movie, I never would have believed it was true, but it was. In one battle, Sergeant Alvin York shot and killed 28 German soldiers, and led his platoon of eight remaining men to capture 132 prisoners of war.

We had an interesting discussion about just wars and battlefield conditions afterwards. The consensus was the the Vietnam War would have been the worst to fight in, and WWII was the most just.

Honoring our veterans

Posted on 11. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in art, articles, politics

Hopefully we’ll all take a moment today, and every day, to be grateful for those who are serving and who have served our country’s military. I wish our troops weren’t in Iraq or Afghanistan, but I appreciate that they’re putting themselves at risk to do their duty.

Here are graphic representations of the sacrifices our brave men and women have made:

From Santa Barbara, the LA Times reports that the group that is placing a cross in the sand for each death is considering capping the number of crosses they place. The “Arlington West” project started at 340, and as of last Sunday there were 2,831. Volunteers put nametags and other identifying objects, such as rosaries or obituaries, on each cross.

A committee is grappling with the question of limiting the crosses, which now span nearly an acre of prime beachfront. Although the city has given its blessing to the project, some volunteers grimly anticipate that it might one day crowd sunbathers and spill over into areas reserved for beach volleyball.

That was never the plan. The group never envisioned a permanent or even a full-time memorial because that would have taken more money, more manpower and sturdier crosses.

Today’s NY Times features asked eight designers to come up with fresh symbols of patriotism or support for the troops. My favorite is the buttons shown below.

How to transform an ordinary woman into a top model

Posted on 09. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, feminism, life lessons, parenting

Check out this great YouTube video that shows how hair, makeup and Photoshop can transform an ordinary woman into a top model. It’s part of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, and highlights the Dove Self-Esteem Fund.

If you like this, you might also like the other videos in the series:

God’s Yellow Pages

Posted on 08. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, quotes, religion

Let your mouse do the walking…to find the perfect verse for the occasion in “God’s Yellow Pages.”

This website has verses for everything from Abundant Life to Zeal, and many things in between. Verses are from both the Old and New Testaments.

Thanks, Bean!

Eleanor Roosevelt, yesterday and today

Posted on 07. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in feminism, politics

Eleanor Roosevelt died 44 years ago today. Here’s a Six Chix cartoon in her honor:

The Degree Confluence Project

Posted on 06. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, environment, international, travel

Here’s another way to virtually tour the world: check out the pictures gathered for the Degree Confluence Project. People submit pictures to the site from where lines of longitude and latitude cross.

The goal of the project is to visit each of the latitude and longitude integer degree intersections in the world, and to take pictures at each location. The pictures, and stories about the visits, will then be posted here.

The project is an organized sampling of the world. There is a confluence within 49 miles (79 km) of you if you’re on the surface of Earth. We’ve discounted confluences in the oceans and some near the poles, but there are still 11,403 to be found.

I checked out the pictures from Southern California, and all the ones I saw were in the wilderness. Although we’re a very crowded country in some places, there are wide open spaces in others. I love that some of the postings are in other languages.

My stepbrother Mark told me about this when I sent him an article from last week’s NY Times titled “Pictures, with map and pushpin included.” Here’s an excerpt:

Instead, the new gadget is an accessory for Bennett’s personal passion, photography. She is one of many people who have taken up geotagging, which, broadly speaking, is the practice of posting photos online that are linked to Web-based maps, showing just where in the world the shutter was pressed.

Don’t forget to see TrekEarth for more pictures from around the world!

My MySpace, YouTube talk

Posted on 05. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, parenting, religion

You can never be too prepared: I met Howard H. at the church at 8:30 this morning to get his laptop connected to the church’s projector for my Growing Families talk about MySpace and YouTube. It’s lucky we got there so early: a cord was missing, and then the laptop wouldn’t talk to the projector. We finally got it going halfway through the talk. Thankfully I’d printed out all my slides on enough handouts for each person.

In preparing for the talk, I reorganized my MySpace Parents Guide and added more links to it. After the talk, I added some links to internet safety software programs.

Of course, when I got home from church I discovered that today’s NY Times has two great articles about social networking sites.

In The Overconnecteds, Betsy Israel reports that Generation M is incredibly dependent upon online communication to make and maintain friendships.

As they would explain if they had time, these teenagers, all members of Generation M (born circa 1980 to 2000), have hundreds more friends than you, the adult, had at their age, or ever. And without having to leave their rooms. According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 87 percent of 12- to 17-year-olds, or 21 million children, are regularly online — 11 million at least once a day — and so the figures go for pages: 75 percent use instant messaging (82 percent of them by seventh grade) and 84 percent own cellphones and iPods (in a hierarchy of cool colors) as well as laptops, BlackBerrys and other P.D.A.’s. Those who cannot afford them still manage to “get on” — at friends’ houses, Internet cafes or libraries — and 78 percent use school computers to shop online or to check their e-mail.

Are they getting enough sleep? Will these friendships last? Only time will tell…

In Snoop Daddy: A Son’s Revenge: ‘Friendbombing’, John Schwartz says that he has way too many friends since he signed up for a Facebook page.

I did it, frankly, to keep up with my own children. My daughter, Elizabeth, off at college and a 10-hour drive away, details her days on her LiveJournal.com and Facebook pages. Anyone can read the LiveJournal page, but Facebook requires that you have your own account, and be part of the same network (like University of Michigan students) or share “friend” status, to read others’ pages.

But a child doesn’t need to be out of town to be a little distant. Sam, my 16-year-old son, has a Facebook page, and when he occasionally left it up on his computer screen, I noticed it was a pretty freewheeling place, with coarse language, flirtation and jokes about high-school drinking. I mean, I hope they were jokes. We’re talking about that. In any case, it all made me want to keep an eye on things.

All was well, until his son told all his friends to ask to be his dad’s “friend.”

Sam invited more than 100 teenagers to join the Friend My Father group. That night, more than a dozen did so, with “new friend” requests popping up every hour or so. Many of them wanted to say Hi. I replied. One asked questions like “waddup mr shcwartz? how it goes” and “r u a journalist or a writer? is there a difference?”

I had, to coin a phrase, been friendbombed.

Watch what you wish for, or it might just come true. Now John needs to make sure no one thinks he’s questionnable for having so many young friends!

The Ultimate Gift

Posted on 05. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in movies

I saw a sneak preview of a movie called “The Ultimate Gift” on Thursday night, and really enjoyed it. It’s about a very rich man who dies, and instead of leaving all of his wealth to his heirs, he makes one of them jump through hoops that teach him life lessons before he can get his inheritance.

It was sappy, and made me cry, but it was also a good reminder about what’s important in life. I want to make sure my kids see it when it comes out next year.

You Might Help a Teen Avoid Dumb Behavior By Nurturing Intuition

Posted on 03. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, education, parenting

The standard way to convince kids not to do something dangerous is to educate them about the risks involved. So, if you don’t want them to drink, you tell them about all the reasons they shouldn’t.

That works for some kids, but not for others. While they might understand the risks, and in some cases even overestimate them, they still engage in the risky behavior. Why is that?

Today’s Wall St. Journal article, “You Might Help a Teen Avoid Dumb Behavior By Nurturing Intuition“, says that

Teens tend to underestimate the bad consequences of risky behavior. They think, yeah, smoking will give me cancer (only 18% of teen smokers deny that most lifelong smokers die of a smoking-related disease), or unprotected sex will give me a sexually transmitted disease. But how bad can that be — especially compared with the benefits of smoking or sex?

Social acceptance and the allure of rebellion right now outweigh the costs later. (Even adults, not to mention financiers, prefer immediate benefits to future ones.) Teaching teens to assess risks accurately won’t decrease stupid behavior — they’re already pretty accurate at gauging the consequences. They just aren’t much bothered by them. No wonder three million new cases of STDs are diagnosed in U.S. adolescents each year.

Young people are especially bad at resisting risk when they’re with peers and when they make decisions on the spur of the moment. In these cases, the emotional brain hijacks the logical one, so knowing the numerical risk of driving drunk won’t stop them. That information is suppressed.

So what can we do? Throw up our hands and hope for the best?

Mature adults manage to avoid risky behavior not because they’re better at conscious deliberation, the scientists say, but because they intuitively grasp dangers. They go with their gut. “As a result of knowledge, experience and insight, they grasp the essence, the gist, of a situation,” says Prof. Reyna. “They don’t stop and deliberate on the costs and benefits of risky behaviors.”

Getting young people to do the same thing arguably holds more promise than improving their powers of deliberation. For one thing, that is limited by the fact that, until your mid-20s, the brain’s frontal lobes are still maturing. Regions responsible for curbing impulsivity, thinking ahead and making sound decisions aren’t necessarily up to the job. But grasping the gist is something even 18-year-olds can manage.

“Deliberately weighing costs and benefits often encourages risky behavior,” says Prof. Reyna. “You have a better chance if you get teens to pick up, unconsciously, that a behavior is dangerous and intuitively avoid it.”

She and colleagues are doing that in a continuing study of 800 teens. Through emotion-packed films and novels, they drum into kids’ heads positive images of healthy behaviors and negative images of risky behavior (a benign version of how the doctors in “A Clockwork Orange” pair violent images with nausea). The idea is to make the thought of risky behavior reflexively trigger a no-go decision. All the evidence, as opposed to folk wisdom, says this is more likely to work than current tactics.

That’s a big argument in favor of monitoring children’s and teen’s media usage, but that’s no news to me. I’ve always said that the more you see something in a positive light, the more likely you are to think it’s ok. The more movies a kid sees with sex and drinking, the more likely they are to think it’s fine.

I try to be careful with what my kids see, but lots still sneaks in. It’s not just movies and tv – it’s billboards, books, magazines, newspapers, peer groups and more.

Sigh. All we can do is try. And, model the good behavior ourselves.

Subscribe to “This American Life” in German

Posted on 02. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in my life

My iTunes has decided that I speak German. The language preference is still set to English, but now it says, “benutzerrezensionen” instead of “user reviews” and “beschreibung” instead of “description.” I figure that someday I’ll turn it on and it’ll be in English again.

That’s fine – I’ll learn a little German. I’m just happy to report that the “This American Life” podcast is now free. I love that show!

How Halloween went

Posted on 01. Nov, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting, things that bug me

We didn’t get our first trick-or-treaters until 7:30 pm, so those kids got TONS of candy from us. I think most of the kids went to , where they block off the street and each house is instructed to have 2,000 pieces of candy ready to give out. Or maybe Hamenschneegan (see below) scared them off from our house.

Both my kids went trick-or-treating with groups of friends. They’re old enough not to need a parent with them. At one of the houses my daughter went to, there was an old man who insisted on taking pictures of the kids. She and her friends thought that was weird, so she tried to hide behind some of the boys. Unfortunately, the man spied her and insisted he take her picture. At the time, the kids couldn’t think of what to say without being rude, and they’re still bugged by it. Either the man is sick or insensitive. On the way to dropping the kids off, our car was pelted by water balloons. At first I thought they were rocks. Again, very annoying, lucky no one got hurt. I honked, but figured there was no way I could catch the kids.

But, overall, it was a good evening. No one got hurt, everyone had fun, and I didn’t eat any of our candy. The picture to the right is of a house in Altadena that’s on the way back from saxophone lessons. Yikes!