My brain has NOT turned to mush!

Posted on 31. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, feminism, my life, parenting

I’m sure there are people out there who think a stay-at-home mom, especially a soccer mom (why does that term demean so much?) must have turned her brain off the minute she put the work suit in the closet. How wrong they are!

No matter what age my kids have been, and no matter whether I’ve worked part-time, full-time or no-time for money, I’ve always grown through my roles in the family and in the community.

Kelley Holland’s eloquent NY Times article, Among Your Qualifications, an M.B.A. at Household U., lists some of the business skills that parenting can develop:

Parents need to master various skills, including quick decision- making in a changing environment (what to serve in two minutes once oatmeal is no longer an option), negotiating (coaxing a young child into snow boots in time for the school bus), and synthesizing information (if a daughter goes to gymnastics, her brother has to be dropped off early for soccer so the grocery shopping can be done).

They also learn to motivate teams (let’s have a playroom cleanup game!) and to multitask (doing laundry while the chicken roasts and soccer practices are coordinated). And they praise real effort at any level, whether it’s a toddler’s painstakingly balanced tower of blocks or a preteen’s carefully drawn poster for a school election. Communication, time management and analytical skills can also be honed at home.

“Raising children is a developmental experience and you gain workplace skills from it,” said Marian N. Ruderman of the Center for Creative Leadership, a research and training organization based in Greensboro, N.C. “If you can negotiate between two kids when you’re driving, you can negotiate at work, she added.There’s no question in my mind about that.”

I completely agree. I could assemble an amazing business team from among the talented stay-at-home parents I know in this community. In fact, I have – they’re on my PTA board! We won’t be taking over the business world any time soon, however, because we want to spend more time at our current job.

Middle school girls gone wild?

Posted on 29. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in education, feminism, my life, parenting, things that bug me

Today my mom asked me what my daughter wants for her birthday. I told her she might like to go clothing shopping, and that my mom didn’t need to worry since the styles are such now that she wouldn’t spend the whole time arguing about showing skin.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble.

In today’s NY Times editorial “Middle School Girls Gone Wild“, Lawrence Downes recounts what it was like to watch the talent show at his daughter’s middle school.

They writhe and strut, shake their bottoms, splay their legs, thrust their chests out and in and out again. Some straddle empty chairs, like lap dancers without laps. They don’t smile much. Their faces are locked from grim exertion, from all that leaping up and lying down without poles to hold onto. “Don’t stop don’t stop,” sings Janet Jackson, all whispery. “Jerk it like you’re making it choke. …Ohh. I’m so stimulated. Feel so X-rated.” The girls spend a lot of time lying on the floor. They are in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades.

As each routine ends, parents and siblings cheer, whistle and applaud. I just sit there, not fully comprehending. It’s my first suburban Long Island middle school talent show. I’m with my daughter, who is 10 and hadn’t warned me. I’m not sure what I had expected, but it wasn’t this. It was something different. Something younger. Something that didn’t make the girls look so … one-dimensional.

Wow. That’s quite different from my impressions from the middle school talent shows I’ve seen over the last three years. My most vivid memory from them is of incredibly talented violinists and pianists, with a few rock bands and “Stomp” imitation groups thrown in. Of course, our school has tryouts for the talent show, so it’s possible that some groups are turned away. But, I’ve not heard of that happening. Maybe California isn’t as wild as it used to be…or maybe it’s just .

In any case, if our talent show was anything like what Downes describes, I’d be sad too. Young girls shouldn’t be acting like that, but then again, older females shouldn’t either. Sometimes I wonder what parents are thinking. Or, if they’re taking the time to think at all. Oops! Did the PTA president just say that? I don’t see girls dressed trashy around here, but I do see other things happening that I can’t believe. More about that another time, perhaps…

 

When you gotta go…

Posted on 28. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in environment, my life

You know it’s windy when the neighbor’s Port-o-John starts blowing down the street. Guess that’s why it has “port-o” in its name.

The weather service says we’re expecting gusts of 70 mph today. I’d believe it, plus some. I just dropped off my son to decorate the town’s Rose Parade float. Hopefully the tent they’re working in won’t blow away.

Learning from experience

Posted on 27. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in life lessons, quotes

I love this quote I heard from Carrie Fisher when she was discussing her one-woman show “Wishful Drinking” on NPR:

I’ve made the maps of the bad places I’ve been, so if I go there again I can get out.

How many assets does your kid have?

Posted on 26. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in education, parenting

I’m not talking about financial assets – I’m talking about the internal strength and external support that helps a kid to make good decisions and have a satisfying life and healthy relationships. The more assets a kid has, the less likely they are to engage in risky behaviors.

In today’s email, I recommended to parents that they download this survey and have their kids take it. It’s part of the Search Institute’s Developmental Assets program that our school district has recently adopted. After surveying thousands of American teens, they found that the average respondent had 19 assets. That’s sad. I believe the cutoff they determined a kid likely needed to thrive was 32.

I had my kids take this, and told them there were no right or wrong answers, but that I was curious to see how they responded. It lead to some insightful discussions.

Heard it from the Grapevine

Posted on 26. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life

My mother and stepfather called me just after lunch today to say that they were in the Tejon Pass, aka The Grapevine, and would be at our house in about 50 minutes on their way from Northern California back down to Escondido. Then, they called 10 minutes later to tell me that they had run over something and their car had broken down. Thank goodness they had a cellphone!

The AAA guy came over an hour later, and correctly diagnosed that their fuel pump had shut off. He looked in their owner’s manual and figured out how to switch it on again.

They were here by mid-afternoon, and we convinced them to stay for dinner. My stepfather got to try his hand at golf and tennis on the Wii, and declared that the Wii could mess up one’s real life game.

Never a dull moment…

Jesus & Gandhi

Posted on 25. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in movies, my life, religion

This Christmas, we watched the movie “Gandhi.” It’s good to remember why he was so admired. I think Jesus would have liked him. My daughter asked if he’s in heaven. I hope so.

I wish I were more like both Jesus and Gandhi. I can only try to do my best.

Too many cups, too little time

Posted on 25. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in food, my life

Ingenious idea of the day: I made two sheets like the one to the right, with each person’s name who’s visiting under a picture of a wreath. I put the sheets in plastic sleeves, and put them on the kitchen counter. When people aren’t holding their cups and plan on having more to drink, they put them on their wreath.

This was done out of necessity: we have seven extra people staying with us this week, and I was washing way too many cups.

Look out, Martha Stewart!

Planned obsolescence?

Posted on 24. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting, shopping, technical, things that bug me

Wouldn’t it figure: my son’s iPod mini is frozen, and all the little tricks to fix it from the Apple website don’t work. Of course, tomorrow his big gift from the grandparents is speakers for said iPod.

Guess we’ll be visiting the Apple store soon. Hopefully their technicians have another trick up their sleeve.

I ran from Iraq

Posted on 23. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting, politics

A Republican friend recently kidded me about whether the Democrats could make any better decisions about Iraq now that they’ve gained so much more power. He was silenced when I said it would be tough to fix the mistakes that have already been made.

In his recent NYTimes editorial, They Told You So, Paul Krugman praised those who spoke out against the war in Iraq from the beginning.

We should honor these people for their wisdom and courage. We should also ask why anyone who didn’t raise questions about the war — or, at any rate, anyone who acted as a cheerleader for this march of folly — should be taken seriously when he or she talks about matters of national security.

I actually took my kids to a protest march before the war started, so to this day we’ve been able to say we didn’t flip-flop. I didn’t think we had just cause for the war, and I didn’t think we had the know-how to win it. Sadly, I was right on both counts. I wish no one had had to die or get injured to find this out, and I appreciate all the sacrifices our troops have made.

Here’s a great cartoon from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

The magnetic house

Posted on 22. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting

I think we’ve achieved one of our goals: our kids and their friends like hanging out at our house. Tonight we even fed dinner to three friends, and got a chance to know them much better. They’re all great kids.

Tomorrow, the relatives start arriving…time to get ready!

Threadless – vote for a design

Posted on 21. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in art, cool websites, shopping

Bored with the same old surfer t-shirt designs? Then check out Threadless. Artists submit designs, visitors to the site vote on them, and the top designs get printed. There are some great designs – check it out!

My current favorite is Pessimistic or Optimistic. I’m impressed that they even have a song that goes with it!

I threw a fortune away

Posted on 20. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, environment, my life

About 30 years ago, I found a strange yellow object washed ashore at Sandy Hook, NJ. It looked like hardened yellow tubing, and yet it didn’t look man-made. We never could figure out what it was, so eventually we threw it away.

Wrong move. It turns out it was probably whale vomit, also known as ambergris, and it could have probably paid for a year of college!

A woman in Long Island just received a gift her sister found on the beach in Montauk about 50 years ago. It’s pictured to the right, and it looks a lot like what my yellow chunk looked like. Here’s what AOL News says:

Inside she found what looked like a gnarled, funky candle but could actually be a huge hunk of petrified whale vomit worth as much as $18,000.

Why so valuable? It turns out it’s used as a fixative in fine perfumes, and can sell for $10/gram and up.

Ah, another lost financial opportunity…

Bummer of a birthday

Posted on 19. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in religion, shopping

LOVED this cartoon from today’s Slate.com Cartoonbox:

Do we have to label everyone?

Posted on 18. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, politics, things that bug me

I heard an NPR segment this evening about whether Barack Obama appeals to the Black community. The guest kept referring to Obama as Black. Not once while I was listening did anyone mention that his mother is White. (His parents are pictured to the right.)

I understand that there are many reasons for this. Not only does Obama look like he’s Black, but our country has a long history of labeling people with even a small percentage of Black ancestry as Black.

Why bring this up? Because by this definition, my kids would be Latino, or Hispanic. And yet, I’m as White and Anglo as they come. But, will their dark hair and Hispanic surname make people automatically assume they’re Latino? That’s ironic, given that this evening when my daughter needed to bring a Mexican dish to Social Studies class we had to look one up on the internet.

I wish there wasn’t a need for labels, and that people would just accept people for what’s inside, and not outside. (fade to music…)

Thank You for Smoking

Posted on 17. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in movies, my life

It’s scary, but obvious: the protagonist in the movie “Thank You for Smoking” bears a strong resemblance to my former step-uncle, NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre. The part that reminded me the most of Wayne was when Nick says that if he can defend big tobacco, he can defend anything. Wayne didn’t start out as a big gun user, and in fact the (non-NRA member) relatives would tease him by giving him wooden and stuffed animal ducks for Christmas. I loved that the MOD (Merchants of Death) included alcohol and firearms!

Incredibly, the film doesn’t show one person smoking…gee, why?? Anyway, great movie, make sure to see it – it’s on Charter Direct.

I’m the Time Person of the Year

Posted on 16. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles

Or, one of them anyway. Just got this email:

Breaking News from ABCNEWS.com:

TIME PERSON OF THE YEAR IS ‘YOU,’ THE CREATORS OF USER-GENERATED INTERNET CONTENT; VOTE ON WHETHER THEY GOT IT RIGHT SUNDAY ON ABCNEWS.COM

I wonder if they’ll get a good picture of me for the cover? Maybe one where I’m not wearing pajamas?

Two many funerals

Posted on 15. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, my life, quotes, work

Darn. I hadn’t been to any funerals in years, and then this year started out with my mother-in-law’s in January. Then, a friend’s mom in the spring. Now, I’ve got to go to two in the next five days. I wish people would just stop dying – it’s so sad for everyone they leave behind.

The first is for my dear friend Judy’s mother. She lived a long and amazing life, and she is sorely missed by her husband, three daughters and their families.

The second is for one of my first clients, Tom Miller. He was the Executive Director of the Glendale Community Foundation, and directed $8 million in assets there. I last saw him at the “Ultimate Gift” movie screening the Foundation co-sponsored last month, and can still remember his voice clearly in my mind. He was a great guy, and at 51 years left behind his wife and two young daughters.

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”
- Robert Byrne

 

Music and dancing on YouTube

Posted on 15. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, cool websites, videos

Here are two fun YouTube videos I just found out about in today’s Wall St. Journal article, “An Unrefined Musician Uses Stop-Motion Video To Play a Catchy Tune.” It’s the latest installment in Aaron Rutkoff’s “Time Waster” column. (Gotta love that name!!)

First up is the main subject of the article, Lasse Gjertsen. His video “” uses stop-motion videography to show him “playing” a complicated drum and then drum/piano piece.

“I have some music sensibility,” the 22-year-old Mr. Gjertsen admits. He self-produced his own album of electronica music, but it was made entirely of computerized samples and without any interference from physical instruments. “I cannot play the piano or the drums.”

Next is an older YouTube video titled “.”

The most-watched video in YouTube’s history is “The Evolution of Dance” by “inspirational comedian” Judson Laipply. The video has taken more than 36 million viewers on an interminably long dance medley spanning Presley to Timberlake (sans lyrics).

I laughed out loud at a few parts of the latter one, and recommend both if you have a few minutes to waste. Or, better yet, multitask. That’s one of my favorite words.

If you have even more time, or even more tasks to multifaire, here are Lasse Gjertsen’s favorite YouTube videos. He has good taste!

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The Good German

Posted on 15. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in movies, work

When you see The Good German, which opens today, don’t focus on George Clooney. Instead, look for the Nazi Assassin. The part is played by one of my clients, Don Pugsley. Don’s a retired Green Beret medic who is currently a nurse at Verdugo Hills Hospital. He runs the Urban Army Fitness Bootcamp with Jennifer Rubendall. He’s a great guy, and I’m looking forward to seeing him on the big screen. Click here to see more stills of Don’s scenes in the movie.

Expect more

Posted on 14. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in parenting, shopping

Irony reigns at the East Pasadena Target store, where the sign over the adoption book rack says, “Expect More.”

 

As my son says, thankfully it doesn’t say, “Pay Less.”

The Wii and Mii

Posted on 13. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting, sports, technical

Of course, after waiting so long in line, I had to make sure to use the Wii myself. I’m quite impressed. It allows you to make a little Mii character (do we call them avatars now?) that looks like yourself, and customize the hairstyle, eye position, etc. Mine looks eerily like me, right down to the mole on my right cheek. I think it freaks my kids out when I box them.

The Wii gives a good workout. Since I was at the mall on Monday morning, I didn’t make it to Curves. Even so, I got a good workout throwing rapidfire punches at my kids. (I haven’t mastered aiming my punches, so I have more success just punching repeatedly.) Freud would love this game. Tennis was also a pretty good workout, and I love the instant replay feature.

Last night I watched / helped my son with The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I can’t wait until he wakes up so I can tell him I looked on message boards and may have found a way to get the cradle from the monkey so he can get the fishing rod to get the cat to get the slingshot, etc. etc.

Back in the ancient days (1979-81) when I was in high school, my geeky male friends and I played a computer game that was a lot like Zelda. I don’t remember the name of it, but it was totally text-based, and you had to imagine what the world you were in might look like. As I recall, we even tried making a map of it. Zelda is like our wildest dreams come true…

Wii finally got one!

Posted on 13. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting, shopping

I’ve been stuck on a different timezone ever since Monday when I arrived at the Arcadia mall at 4:15 am to get a Wii for my son’s birthday / Christmas gift. What an adventure it was! I was able to get into the mall since a mall employee was leaving at the same time, and sat in line outside the Gamestop for an hour with the three people who’d arrived before me. At about 5:15 am, mall security arrived with a 5th person, and told us all to stand outside the mall doors. Brrr!!! Then, security misconstrued a remark that John (#2) made, and told us all to sit in our cars. Finally, I think they realized they’d have a riot on their hands if there was no semblance of a line, so they let us stand outside the doors again. The manager gave us numbered tickets at 8:10 am, and told us to come back around noon when her delivery was expected to arrive. She didn’t know how many were expected, and it turns out there were enough that I didn’t need to be there so early.

But it was a memorable adventure. Standing with Mary, John, Raymond and Ryan reminded me that even when we don’t seem to have much in common with someone on the outside, the more you get to know someone, the more you feel a bond to them. We learned a lot about each other waiting in line, and all looked out for each other’s spot. Thankfully, everyone in line was very polite and respectful.

Someone should make a short documentary film about getting a Wii. Too bad no one filmed the couple that showed up with their little white puppy dressed in a Superman outfit. It was quite surreal.

Middle East history – animated map

Posted on 12. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, international, politics

Ever find it confusing to remember which empire existed at which time, and how far it extended? Then check out this great animated map called “Maps of War” which shows the boundaries of empires in the Middle East throughout history.

Electing a Black or a Woman President

Posted on 11. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in politics

Fascinating poll results on AOL today. Respondents are more liberal than they expect others to be. I’d guess that responses reflect how much people like either Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama.

I’m an Obama supporter, myself…

Can money buy happiness?

Posted on 10. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, life lessons

According to this past week’s Wall St. Journal article, “The Pursuit of Happiness: Six Experts Tell What They’ve Done to Achieve It“, it can help if you spend it the right way. Here are the four things they say can help – and I don’t think they all require money, if you’re creative.

• Relish the day: Don’t just relish big things like weddings: make sure to appreciate smaller milestones, such as promotions or vacations. Take pictures, buy a souvenir, or go out to dinner. Find a way to create a memory of the event that you’ll always remember.
• Dodge traffic: Reduce your commute. It isn’t worth the time you’ll miss with family and friends.
• See friends: Make time for relationships, because they’re likely to produce some of your happiest times.
• Buy memories: Go to the SuperBowl. Or, do something for free, like take a hike. Find a way to MAKE memories.

In the end, much of how happy you are depends upon your attitude.

“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”
- William Feather

Happy Chrismakwanzukkah!

Posted on 09. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, politics, religion

I’ve been caught off guard several times this season when store clerks have said “Merry Christmas” to me. I wonder how they know I’m Christian, and then figure they probably bet that most people with Hispanic surnames aren’t Jewish or Muslim.

It turns out that last year’s debate about “Happy Holidays” vs. “Merry Christmas” is in full swing again, according to articles I’ve read. Many conservatives are still angry when stores use “Happy Holidays”, and cite statistics about how many people celebrate Christmas to back themselves up. If Christianity is about love, why can’t they find it in their hearts to love and respect the beliefs of the people who don’t celebrate Christmas? Wouldn’t that go a longer way toward communicating Christ’s message? Michael Josephson, who’s Jewish, says it quite well in his latest newsletter:

Among Christianity’s great gifts to the world is the Christmas spirit, a way of thinking and being that reflects transcendent values taught by Jesus, especially love, unity, acceptance, and forgiveness. These values uplift and inspire Christians and non-Christians to care more for others and live better lives. We shouldn’t allow this spirit to be hijacked in a misguided zeal for orthodoxy.

For some, it boils down to whether they think the United States was founded as a Christian nation. I think that Christianity was one of the influences upon our founders, but there were others as well. Gerald Plessner sums it up nicely:

The Bible was one of the sources of our values, along with the Enlightenment, John Locke, the Federalist and Anti-Federalist Papers, the Magna Carta, the writings of Thomas Paine and many others.

Christianity Today had a great article about the debate. Here’s their explanation of how long we’ve celebrated Christmas as we do now:

Those who engage in combat to remind others of “the reason for the season” would do well to remember that the Christmas season as such has only existed for about a century and a half. The 1,500-year-old Christian season that precedes December 25 is Advent, a time of fasting, penitence, and somber waiting. Protestants who eschew Advent because of an association with Rome have precedent for doing so. But the Reformers, Puritans, colonial Baptists, and others who gave rise to modern evangelicalism either passed Christmas Day with a simple worship service, or strongly opposed such a “popish” observance.

I wish the people who only want “Merry Christmas” would drop the debate and concentrate on something else, like making Christmas less commercialized. And, I wish they’d remember that a wish of “Happy Holidays” is actually a good thing, and should be appreciated. 

Wii chance of mom going to Gamestop today

Posted on 08. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in my life, parenting, shopping, things that bug me

Rumor has it that the Gamestop in Arcadia is getting some Nintendo Wii’s in today. Alas, when I called Gamestop yesterday, they merely said they might be getting some, and said to arrive early, but wouldn’t say how early. Does early mean 6 am? 8 am? 9 am? I have to go out to San Bernardino for my daughter’s soccer game this afternoon since the school couldn’t line up a bus, so I’m already blowing several hours of worktime.

Maybe I’ll just have my son look at this video instead of opening a Wii himself. Apparently these Wii opening videos are popping up all over the internet these days. Frankly, when I see it, it doesn’t get me more excited. Looks like lots of paperwork and pieces…but I’m not the target audience.

Botox injected soccer moms

Posted on 07. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, music, my life, parenting

I was happily reading an article about Sufjan Stevens in The Other Journal when I happened upon this sentence:

Besides introducing Stevens to a new tax bracket, Illinois also introduced him to a brand new and larger audience ranging from the typical hipster to botox injected soccer moms to little old ladies.

Oh no! It’s bad enough being a soccer mom who likes Sufjan Stevens, but does it now naturally fit to put “botox injected” before the moniker? Yikes! I’ve never been botoxed, but I am a double soccer mom…guess I’ll just be what I am and not worry about a music reviewer’s impressions.

Evite to War in Iraq

Posted on 07. Dec, 2006 by kchristieh in cool websites, international, politics

I’ve received and sent Evites lately, so this parody hits home. Check out this Evite to the war in Iraq. Make sure to see what you can bring: troops, bombs, salad, music, jets…