Learn how to cut through social media clutter

Posted on 18. Feb, 2010 by kchristieh in social networking

My friend/client Stephanie Michele of SocialBling is putting on a “Communications, Relations and Social Media Frustrations Seminar” this coming Tuesday, February 24th at the Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse. It’s a two-part series that will help you to get answers to questions like:

• What is social media?
• Why should I use social networking sites?
• What is the difference  between LinkedIn, Facebook and twitter?
• What secret tips am I not aware of?

Here’s more information from her blog:

FOCUS TOPICS:

• February: Goal Setting and How to use Social Media to Achieve Goals.
• March: Measuring Your Results against Time You are Spending Online.

WHEN: Last Tuesday and Thursday Night of the Month 6 pm -8:30 pm

DATES AND LOCATIONS:

• Tuesday February 23rd & March 23rd – Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse, 964 Foothill Blvd 91011
• Thursday February 25th & March 25th -Los Angeles Meeting Center, 10601 W. Washington Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90232

COST: $115 per night Register Here.

NOTE: Focus topic will be the first 45 minutes of presentation, the remaining time will be used for hands-on demonstrations and open Q & A. Bring your laptop to access free Wi-Fi  and work along with instructor. When you pre-register, you will be able to submit your social media questions and concerns to ensure it will be covered in the open demonstration/Q&A at the seminar you attend.

SPACE IS LIMITED, ADVANCED SIGN UP IS ENCOURAGED.

Taught by Social Media Strategist, Connection Artist and Founder of SocialBling.com, Stephanie Michele. Stephanie Michele has been managing social networking plans for companies and individual for over 10 years, even before online social tools existed.  She cuts through the confusing jargon associated with social media and teaches people how they can use the tools to benefit their unique goals. Stephanie teaches best practices in popular social networks such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter. Her methods are fun, encouraging and practical. In 2009, she formed SocialBling.com under the premise, if today’s social tools allow us to connect with anyone and everyone then why not set goals and connect with exactly who you need to meet and know to make those goals happen. To learn more about Stephanie visit LinkedIn for references:

How do I communicate with you? Let me count the ways…

Posted on 04. Feb, 2010 by kchristieh in social networking

It’s ironic that what is meant to make our lives simpler often complicates them.

Even though new technologies have given us more effective means of communicating, my communications are complicated by the fact that I have to keep track of how all the different people in my life prefer to communicate. Here’s a short version of the list I maintain in my brain:

• Son: Facebook, text messaging
• Daughter: Facebook, email, text messaging
• Husband: Facebook, email, call work phone not cell phone
• Mother: Email, home phone, some Facebook
• Father & stepmother: Email, cell phone, home phone depending on which state they’re in
• Sister: Home phone
• Stepfather: Email
• Aunt: Email
• Brother-in-law: Texting, Facebook, email
• Lisa: Email, or she’ll call me on the way to work
• Monica: Email, texting
• Jaclyn & Holly: Facebook, texting, email
• Grandparents: Email, home phone

Of course, face-to-face interaction is the best, but that’s not always possible. Thankfully, I’m comfortable using all of these forms of communication.

This list is constantly evolving. My son will need to start checking his email over the next year as his guidance counselor and colleges start emailing him information. My mother will eventually get more comfortable on Facebook, and I hope that my father and stepparents will give in and join Facebook.

I’ll get a smarter cellphone in the next year or two, and will probably start depending on it more. Until then, when people send picture messages to my phone, I can’t see them well enough to distinguish if they’re pictures of babies or dogs.

Maybe I’ll just start sending letters again. Probably not.

Note: The picture above depicts Ernestine, the character Lily Tomlin played in “Laugh-In.” I played that character in my elementary school play, and can still do a pretty mean Ernestine impression. Young’uns who aren’t familiar with Ernestine may enjoy this video where she explains her position on healthcare:

My year in Facebook statuses

Posted on 31. Dec, 2009 by kchristieh in my life, social networking

I feel like I have two diaries: my blog, and my Facebook statuses. Here’s a graphic created by the Facebook application “” that summarizes the past year by showing representative Facebook statuses. It initially included a random set of status updates, but I chose the option where I could select which statuses to display. Here’s the result:

While I was selecting which status updates to include, I copied the list and pasted it into Excel. It’s a great summary of the past year.

Pledge to keep kids safe: join SafeHomes on Facebook

Posted on 24. Nov, 2009 by kchristieh in parenting, social networking

For years, the Community Prevention Council of La Canada Flintridge has been encouraging area parents to take the following pledge:

“I will not allow minors to consume beer, wine, alcohol, or use illegal drugs in my home or on my property. I will not allow parties or gatherings in my home without proper adult supervision.”

Parents who are willing to agree to that have long been asked to join SafeHomes, an online, password-protected database that allows parents to see which other parents have agreed to the pledge, and therefore to know which homes are more likely to host safe parties and events.

This evening, Community Prevention Council chair Will Moffitt created a . People who join the group agree to abide by the pledge. For those of us who visit Facebook daily, it’ll be much easier to access than the password-protected database, and it’ll make it easy to get in touch with fellow group members.

I hope you’ll join. The more people that join, the more valuable a resource this will be.

What I learned when my son broke his leg

Posted on 06. Nov, 2009 by kchristieh in health, life lessons, my life, parenting, social networking, sports

It’s been tough to keep up with my goal of daily blog posting lately. Clients, volunteer positions, and a child applying to college have taken a higher priority. As if that wasn’t enough, this past Friday night my son fractured his tibia and dislocated his kneecap in a high school football game. He had surgery the next day, and we spent two nights in the hospital. Since then, I’ve been his personal nurse, helping him move his whole-leg cast when he gets up or down from a sitting or sleeping position, refilling his water bottle, and making him caprese sandwiches.

Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned this week:

• Every hospital patient needs an advocate. My son entered the emergency room in utter pain, and after 10 minutes of waiting we were told it would be another 20 minutes before a triage nurse would see him. It was only when I whipped out my purse supply of Tylenol and with tears in my eyes asked how much to give him that they finally talked to him. Likewise, after his surgery, the nurses who attended to him were very kind, but needed reminding that 40 minutes before they’d promised more pain medication or help with something important. I’m glad I was there for him.
• Keep your situation in perspective. I felt and feel awful for my son, but his situation could be far worse. I said lots of prayers for people in the hospital that were in worse shape than my son.
• You can’t wash your hands too much. I treated every surface in that hospital as if it was coated with the plague. Time will tell if I was successful in avoiding illness, but I’m glad I was careful.
• Hospital food can be good. The food at our hospital cafeteria was excellent and cheap. I should eat lunch there with friends. Except for my previous point about hospital germs.
• When you need to go rescue your child who’s broken a bone, if possible, take an extra two minutes and bring: magazines, water bottles, a phone charger, a jacket, and socks. You’ll be so glad you did when you’re at the hospital overnight or for hours on end. (This was my son’s 4th bone break, so I learned this awhile ago.)
• Guard your time at the hospital and afterwards. It was good that everyone didn’t visit the hospital, since each visit was both exhilarating and tiring, and at one point I told some people that instead of talking on the phone and bothering my son, that it would be better to text. I also made sure to turn both our phones off at night.
• You never know when your child will play his last game. I didn’t attend Friday night’s game; my daughter had come home sick that afternoon, so I chose to stay home with her. My husband and I actually looked at each other and said, “There’s no way he’ll get hurt, right? He’s the kicker.” Hahaha. In retrospect, it’s just as well I wasn’t there, as it would have been torture to watch him lie on the field for so long with no power to do anything. But after 12 years of organized sports, this may wind up being the last game he plays in until he plays intramurals in college.
• Aerobeds are amazing. I’m sleeping on one next to my son’s bed in case he needs to get up in the middle of the night or needs more pain medication. I’m sleeping like a log on that thing. Note: this is just true for the actual Aerobed brand. I haven’t been so happy with other air mattresses.
• I can mention this one since my son won’t read this: if your child is asleep next to you and it’s dark and you’re bored, copy cell phone numbers of their closest friends onto your cell phone. You never know when you’ll need them.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a bed tray my son could use to eat his meals and do homework, two showed up on my doorstep the next morning. Ditto for needing some concrete blocks to keep the dog in. One of my Facebook friends was going to the hardware store anyway, so she saved me a trip that would take me away from my son. And the food people have brought us has saved many nights of frozen pizza. And my son appreciates the cards and gifts people have brought.
• I live in a great community. People care, and back it up with action. I’m very, very, very fortunate to live here and have such wonderful friends.  :)

New website: SocialBling

Posted on 29. Oct, 2009 by kchristieh in social networking, work

Stephanie Michele wants to help you to get connected to other people who share your interests. She’s started a new company called SocialBling that helps you find other people based on your wants, needs and goals.

It was great working with Stephanie on this site, and using the logo and graphics that Debra Doty designed made the job that much easier. SocialBling’s gotten some great press: check it out!

Why is Smirnoff targeting Facebook ads at 17-year-olds?

Posted on 02. Sep, 2009 by kchristieh in advertising, health, parenting, social networking, things that bug me

I was shocked yesterday when I passed by my 17-year-old daughter as she cruised Facebook and saw that she’d been targeted with the Smirnoff ad to the right. Facebook allows advertisers to target ads by age, location and many other variables, so why was it marketing liquor to someone under 21? As Facebook’s own state,

7. Inappropriate Targeting

Ads need to be targeted relevantly and appropriately. For example, a dating ad should be targeted to users over 18 who are listed as single.

The ad also showed up on my page, right below an ad to take courses at Biola. I think Smirnoff missed the boat on this one, and Facebook was asleep at the wheel. Or maybe they weren’t, and were just trying to make a buck. I complained, and hopefully they’ll be more prudent in the future. In the meantime, parents should unfortunately expect that ads such as this may show up on their kids’ pages, and should discuss with them why they’re inappropriate.

Do they actually think that a picture of a kid rudely sucking his spaghetti shows respect toward children unfortunate enough to have Type 2 diabetes? It’s hard enough to have that disease without having to deal with the stereotypes that this ad reinforces. I doubt they’ll get many clicks on this one.

Do you need a website, a blog or a Facebook page? Or something else?

Posted on 17. Aug, 2009 by kchristieh in social networking, work

Café Pasadena asked an excellent question in response to Saturday’s blog post: How should a person decide whether they need a website, a blog, or a Facebook page?

A page is perfect for keeping in touch with friends and family. Most people make their pages private, so they can only be seen by people they’ve accepted as “friends.” It’s an easy and effective tool for sharing updates about what’s going on in your life, articles and links you find interesting, videos you like or have taken, and photos of your latest adventure. There are many levels of privacy settings. For example, you can specify that a certain photo can only be seen by a few select people, and yet share another photo with anyone. It’s all up to you. Facebook is also an excellent adjunct to email. When I send a Facebook message, I know it won’t wind up in a spam folder. Most people have Facebook set up so that they not only get messages in their Facebook inbox, but they also get an email letting them know they have a message. I love that Facebook groups messages by their string, so I don’t have to go back to search for what was said before. Because I know messages won’t wind up as spam, I’ve also ditched Evite in favor of organizing events on Facebook. It keeps track of who’s coming to an event, just as Evite does. Facebook groups are an effective way of updating people about a cause or interest, and allow people to contribute to the dialogue. Facebook can also be useful for businesses, organizations or public features that wish to start groups or fan pages. In fact, it’s quickly becoming necessary that they do so unless they want to be left out of the loop. Facebook is free.

Blogging is an effective way to communicate your insights, knowledge and opinions. You can customize the look of a blog, but the core of the blog will be the posts. A post is like an article. You can post as often or as seldom as you wish, but you’re more likely to have loyal readers if you post regularly. Nearly all blogs have no privacy settings, so anyone on the internet can see what you write or what pictures you post. You can create a blog for free, but you might choose to pay to host your blog so that you can have more design flexibility. I use a Facebook application called NetworkedBlogs that puts my blog posts on my Facebook news feed. I’m generally getting 5-10x more comments on my blog posts on Facebook rather than on the actual blog itself, and since they’re not anonymous, the comments are always thoughtful and respectful.

A website is usually updated less often than a blog, unless it’s a media website with constantly updated lists of stories or a retail website with new products and reviews. Websites can be designed however you wish, and are perfect for businesses or organizations that wish to provide information about their product or mission. In my case, my business website is kchristieh.com, my blog is kchblog.com, and I have a Facebook page under my own name.

Other popular communication tools you might consider include LinkedIn and Twitter.

functions much like an online resume, but with “connections” much like “friends” on Facebook. It’s much less dynamic than Facebook, however, because you don’t post status updates, links, vacation photos, etc. to your page. Because LinkedIn stays more professional, it’s great for people who are looking to network without getting too personal. LinkedIn also has a great feature that allows you to ask a professional question, such as “What software would I use for the following situation?” The responses are usually very helpful. I have a robust LinkedIn profile, but I only use it when I have a question to ask. I’d use it more if I were looking to hire or to be hired.

allows people to send out and receive short updates on their cellphone or email account. It’s a great way to quickly inform groups of people of an important event or breaking news. Many businesses use it to update customers. I’m signed up for Twitter, and although I have been notified that I have a bunch of followers, I’ve never “tweeted,” or posted an update. I prefer to update my Facebook status and let people see it if they wish to, and not inundate anyone or myself with useless chatter. I also prefer knowing that only friends and family see my updates. While much that goes on via Twitter is useful, I don’t want to get updates on my cellphone or email that so-and-so is eating a yummy burger.

Does anyone actively use MySpace anymore? Just kidding…sort of. While I’m sure many people still use MySpace, my friends and I appreciate the more robust features and privacy settings of Facebook, so that’s where we communicate.

The most creative job search technique I’ve ever seen

Posted on 26. Jul, 2009 by kchristieh in advertising, social networking, work

I’m not sure why Facebook thought the ad to the right might be relevant to me, but I love it. Sometimes creative application techniques bomb, but I think this one’s pretty good. I hope it works for him! Maybe he was wise in targeting me, since I’m winding up blogging about it.  :)

These are good days to be self-employed. At least when I go to work each day, I know I have a job.

It’s no wonder I don’t Twitter

Posted on 19. Jun, 2009 by kchristieh in parenting, social networking

I don’t even like getting Facebook updates on my cell phone. I just turned them off. I was only getting text messages when my husband updated his status or when someone commented on my status, but it was getting annoying checking my cell phone only to find a silly little comment. I used to get updates of my kids’ status updates, but they asked me to turn them off since it was freaky that they’d be sitting on the couch on Facebook and my phone would start speaking the text of their update.

I’ll save my phone for more important messages.

My biggest birthday party yet

Posted on 22. Apr, 2009 by kchristieh in food, my life, social networking

Forget renting a party hall: the biggest birthday celebrations are the FREE ones on Facebook! I definitely felt the love today as oodles of buddies wished me a Happy Birthday and commanded me to have a wonderful day. I had a busy, stressful day, but Facebook helped balance it out with a smile.

Facebook made me smile recently when it recommended that I join the In-In-Out fan club only hours after I’d eaten there. How did they know?

They also suggested that I might know the mythical Gary Tyrell. I don’t, but what an honor that would be!

Facebook made me laugh heartily a few weeks ago when it recommended that I become a fan of U.S.C. and that I might know Pete Carroll, since apparently we have a bunch of friends in common. I’ve heard he’s a great guy, but I don’t know him or support his team, so I declined.

Warning to Twitterers: Calm down, or I’ll tune out

Posted on 07. Apr, 2009 by kchristieh in social networking

Even though I’ve made the decision not to Twitter, I often see Twitter updates on my Facebook feed.

Recently, one of my Facebook friends Twittered 15 times in one day. At one point, it took up over half my news feed. Although I love what this person has to say, it was too much. I deleted him from my news feed.

I considered letting him know the effect his updates can have on people, but he has too much going on in his life right now, and doesn’t need me laying this on him.

But let this be a warning to all Twitterers: exercise restraint, or you may lose your audience.

Local blogger list from today’s picnic

Posted on 28. Mar, 2009 by kchristieh in local news, social networking

Kudos to the brilliant soul who had bloggers write their urls on this poster at today’s picnic! Click here for a larger version.

A hate group’s a hate group, no matter how young

Posted on 18. Mar, 2009 by kchristieh in education, parenting, social networking

I recently discovered a rash of that were directed at teachers and a student at a local school. Most of the group members were in junior high. I spoke to the parents I knew whose kids were in the groups, and they were appalled. I don’t know what the exact punishments were in each case, but I’m sure the kids were lectured up, down and sideways about why this is wrong.

I’d asked Facebook to remove the groups as soon as I saw them, but they didn’t take action until four days later. Believe me, I wasn’t being picky: for example, one of the groups was “We Hate ” and the description was “We hope he burns in Hell.” The other groups had names that are too crass to mention here.

This is just one more reason for parents to join Facebook. They should be their kid’s friend and keep an eye out to make sure stuff like this doesn’t happen.

They should also make sure that kids understand how much groups like this can hurt people. The kids might call it a joke, but it isn’t a joke to the victim. Were you ever bullied in school? If so, I bet you remember exactly who did it and what they did or said. This kind of stuff is painful.

What’s the difference between this and the hate groups monitored by The Southern Poverty Law Center? Number of members, funding, threats of violence, for sure. But it’s all shades of grey, and we’ve got to teach our kids that this behavior, and anything that it leads to, is unacceptable.

I just updated my “How to Join Facebook” page

Posted on 24. Nov, 2008 by kchristieh in social networking

Do you want to join Facebook but you’re not sure where to start? Then check out my “How to Join Facebook: Easy Instruction Guide for Adults (or Anyone!)” page. It has step-by-step instructions on how to join Facebook, post pictures, send messages, and set privacy settings.

Here’s a quick list of some of the reasons I’ve appreciated Facebook this year:

• Reconnecting with gals who were in my childhood Brownie troop and people who lived in my old neighborhood
• Having lunch in Santa Barbara with a college friend who graduated in a different class who I don’t see at reunions
• Staying in touch with friends in Pakistan, China and France
• Easy sharing of pictures with friends, and the ability to “tag” the people in them
• Easy sharing of articles and websites with Facebook friends
• Great source for information and advice. My Facebook friends gave me terrific, unbiased advice when I was deciding whether to switch from PC to Mac.
• Having a group for people in my college graduation class, which makes writing class notes MUCH easier!
• Keeping up with what’s going on with my kids. Actually, I hardly do this at all via Facebook, since I talk to them all the time, but if they were in college, I’d REALLY appreciate this.

Facebook can take up as much or as little time as you wish; it’s up to you. Hopefully this guide will help you to use it wisely and get the most out of it.

Why I just ordered my first Mac

Posted on 14. Nov, 2008 by kchristieh in my life, social networking, technical, things that bug me

When I purchased my first home computer in 1991, I chose to get a PC because it was much cheaper than a Mac and there were more programs for it.

PCs have served me well enough over the years. I run my website design business and do lots of volunteer work on my PC.

But I’m sick and tired of:

• Being afraid to update programs because when I have in the past, my computer has stopped working
• Waiting forever for the computer to turn on or off
• Getting random error messages when I try to turn the computer off
• Pop-up ads, even when I try to block them

So this week, when my computer started giving me low memory issues (I had less than 1% of my hard drive free) I figured it was time to get a new computer. I thought my computer was much older than it actually is. I’ve been going around telling people it’s 6 or 7, when actually it’s 4.5. Bad genes, I guess. It just acts old.

I’ve always been intrigued by claims that Macs are easier to work with and cause less hassles than PCs, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to run some of my favorite programs (Access, Money, NetVisualize Favorites) on a Mac. I posted a “Mac or PC” question on Yahoo Answers, and 7 out of 8 people said I should get another PC. Most didn’t offer supporting details. When I posted my dilemma on Facebook, 10 friends responded, and ALL of them gave me good reasons why I should get a Mac.

I ordered my iMac this evening, and can’t wait for it to arrive!!

Prop. 8 contributions skew conservative in La Canada

Posted on 07. Nov, 2008 by kchristieh in my life, politics, social networking

Here’s some solid proof that La Canada is a conservative community:

Prop. 8 (Marriage = between a man and a woman):

Opposition:

• 32 people gave a total of $17,940 to oppose Proposition 8. (=avg. $598 / person)
• 4,458 people voted against it.

Support:

• 69 people gave a total of $285,554 to support Proposition 8. (=avg. $4,138.46 / person)
• 4,830 people voted for it.

President:

• Obama: 4,597
• McCain: 4,602

I haven’t blogged about Prop. 8 before, but I wish I had. I voted against it. I understand that many Christians voted for it based upon their beliefs, but I voted against it based on my Christian beliefs. I believe that God made some people gay, and if they truly love someone and want to declare that love publicly, I think that’s a beautiful thing. Not only does it not threaten my 21+ year marriage, but it makes me appreciate my marriage since this is something that homosexuals want so badly. On the other hand, I know people who are turned off from marriage because they’ve witnessed the ugliness of heterosexual divorce. I don’t want to get into a whole theological discussion about this, but I just wish that people would appreciate that one can still believe and yet vote a different way. (Here’s a shout out to my pastor, who told us last week we should prayerfully consider our vote, but didn’t tell us to vote a certain way. Love it!)

Last week I logged onto Facebook and saw a picture of a friend and his husband and daughter (so cute!) at the wedding of another gay couple, and a picture of another friend after her Mormon sealing ceremony. I think both of these people are absolutely wonderful, loving people. I don’t think that either side should assume the other side is evil or malicious, and I appreciate the wonderful people on either side.

On another note, I won the Rattling the Kettle contest to guess the number of electoral votes that Barack Obama would get. Yay!! I won a “Yes on 8″ sign, and need to decide what to do with it. Any suggestions?

Links:

• How La Canada Voted (La Canada Valley Sun)
• Proposition 8 Contributions from La Canadans: For  / Against / Summary sorted by name

I cried, I danced, I am in awe

Posted on 04. Nov, 2008 by kchristieh in politics, social networking

It was a good night:

Breaking News Alert
The New York Times
Tuesday, November 4, 2008 — 11:08 PM ET
—–

Senator Obama Will Win Presidency

The New York Times projects that Barack Hussein Obama will be elected the 44th president of the United States, sweeping away the last racial barrier in American politics with ease.

I hope this is a watershed moment for our country, so we can move forward and effect positive change here and around the world.

Here are some of my favorite Facebook statuses my friends posted:

…can see clearly now the rain is gone…
…wants this man to succeed so much, wants to join in and do whatever is possible to make this only the first night of a long journey toward a better world.
…is SI SE PUEDE.
…Omg omg this is amazing… Everyone dancing. (from a friend at Grant Park in Chicago)
…has renewed faith in the intelligence of the American people!!!
…is surrounded by other cheering Americans, tears in his eyes. (a friend in China)
…is grinning like an idiot.
…thinks maybe this is our Berlin wall.
…is shedding tears of peace, love & joy.
…is remembering what it’s like to feel hopeful for our country. Got the chills!

and mine:

Kathy says “All Right Now!”
I’ll sleep well tonight.  :)

I’m baaaack! The return of the busy blogger, and all that I’ve done this week

Posted on 03. Oct, 2008 by kchristieh in education, local news, movies, music, my life, non-profits, social networking

T’was such a busy week that – gasp! – I didn’t even blog. It was all I could do to eat and sleep, but now that I’ve survived, here’s a summary of what I’ve been up to since the last post:

On Saturday, we saw the Angel City Classic at the Los Angeles Coliseum. This annual event features two historically Black colleges or universities (HBCU) who not only play football, but compete in a Battle of the Bands. This year, we got to see Morehouse compete against Prairie View A&M. I was there for the bands: I LOVE innovative and energetic marching bands. Prairie View clearly won the Battle of the Bands, IMHO. It’s hard to beat a band that does :

That evening, we attended the annual fundraiser at the Community Center. I was tapped to roll the dice for the Pinata Race. Seriously. I got pretty good at it, but if I ever get to do it again I have a few more ideas up my sleeve.

On Sunday we attended the premiere screening of the documentary “Viva la Causa.” It depicts the events that led up to the grape boycott, and shows how much of an impact Cesar Chavez, Dolores Huerta and Bobby Kennedy all had during that time period. I was really young and on the other side of the country when these events unfolded (late 60’s), so I never realized that the women had to hold up blankets in front of each other since there weren’t bathrooms, and that everyone shared a tin can to drink from the same bucket of water. I’m really glad we brought the kids, and it just confirms our support for the sponsor, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and its Teaching Tolerance project.

Earlier this week, I lived on Facebook as I trolled for class notes. My column was due on Wednesday. I also wrote a speech for accepting my award last night, and bored my dog to tears practicing it. It went well, and I really appreciated all the nice things people said last night.  :)

Everyone on Facebook should see these safety videos

Posted on 26. Aug, 2008 by kchristieh in parenting, social networking

No matter how many times we tell kids to be careful before they post personal information online in places such as Facebook or MySpace, I bet the message doesn’t come through as clearly as it does in these safety videos on CyberTipline.com.

First, the video titled “Everyone.”

I like how it leads us down a slippery slope. At first, the girl is flattered that a handsome older boy is paying attention to her, but by the end she’s weirded out when the guy cleaning the tables at the mall knows her.

I know how that feels. I’m careful about what I post on this blog, but every once in awhile someone I barely know asks about some detail in my life that they read in my blog. I’m pretty comfortable wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I have to be careful. And as for my kids, I do the supermarket test: would they be comfortable if someone at the supermarket mentioned something they learned about them on my blog? Usually, the answer is “no,” so that’s why you don’t read much about my kids. I wonder what “mommy bloggers” will do when their kids become teenagers?

Next, “Think Before You Post.”

The teenage girl puts a picture of herself on the school bulletin board, but whenever anyone takes it down it magically appears again. She tries getting them all down, but can’t. See what happens at the end…eeek! The risk of posting pictures is also the focus of this effective radio ad.
This one also strikes home. I’ve seen lots of wonderful pictures of friends on Facebook, but sometimes I’m amazed at how I have access to the pictures THEIR friends post. There are many people that don’t take the extra time to tighten their privacy settings, or who feel fine posting compromising pictures.

Other videos include “Exchange” and “Places“, both of which are about deleting online predators.

I still think Facebook is wonderful…when used safely.

My latest addiction: Yahoo! Answers

Posted on 18. Jul, 2008 by kchristieh in cool websites, social networking

Just as I was recovering from and Etsy, and avoiding the Tetris game on my new phone, along came . I innocently looked up how much gas my Prius holds, and found myself in a world where my vast reserves of wisdom would finally be valued.

Yahoo! Answers allows users to ask questions, answer questions, and vote on the best answer for each question. Answering and voting on questions gets you points, as does having your answer be voted the best. Asking a question costs a few points.

So far, I’ve only . They’ve ranged from parenting questions to website design questions. I think there’s something for everyone here. I’ve learned to be a little more skeptical and beware of “trolls” posting fake questions. (e.g., one day they’re a boy asking about video games and the next day they’re a girl saying they’re pregnant) The real questions are pretty easy to spot, however, and it’s nice to take a break to help someone out.

What would John Perry and Ken Taylor of Philosophy Talk say? Is this true altriusm, or am I looking for points? Or perhaps an ego boost? I prefer altriusm, but who knows? It’s fun, anyway, and productive.

Here’s a screenshot of some questions from this evening:

Local man lures girls via MySpace, other sites

Posted on 28. May, 2008 by kchristieh in parenting, social networking

The next time I give a presentation to parents about social networking, I want to remember to tell them about this story that happened a few towns over. It’s unusual, and hardly ever occurs, but clearly it can happen, and nearby. Here’s a long excerpt from today’s Pasadena Star News:

Suspect allegedly lured teens on Internet

LOS ANGELES – A federal grand jury indicted a 33-year-old Monrovia man Tuesday, claiming he seduced 10 teenage girls over the Internet, had sex with them and took pornographic photos of the girls.

The indictment accuses 33-year-old Gregory Serrano of San Gabriel of 23 crimes, including using the Internet to entice minors, producing and possessing child pornography and destroying evidence.

Local authorities have charged Serrano, a graduate of Walnut High School, with 20 additional counts of child molestation stemming from incidents dating to June 2006.

Serrano allegedly used “social networking sites on the Internet to convince high school-age girls to have sex with him and pose for pornographic pictures,” U.S. Attorney’s Office spokesman Thom Mrozek said in a written statement.

Monrovia police Lt. Richard Wagnon described the allegations against Serrano as one of the worst child molestation cases he’s ever seen.

Ten girls between the ages of 13 and 17 have been identified as victims. Officials believe other victims have yet to come forward, said United States Attorney Joey Blanch.

Investigators discovered pornographic photographs in Serrano’s possession that depict victims other than the 10 already identified, Blanch said.

Serrano used Web sites like myspace.com, netlog.com and myyearbook.com to target his victims, Mrozek said.

How can someone justify such evil to themselves?

Scary man on Facebook befriends local kids

Posted on 14. May, 2008 by kchristieh in parenting, social networking

Would you want this man to be your child’s Facebook friend?

Unfortunately, this person had “friended” 17 of our local freshmen and sophomores before I was able to figure out how to report him and ask Facebook to shut him down.*

Big kudos to Facebook: within minutes, he disappeared from the site.

Parents, this is one more reason to make sure you discuss internet safety with your kids and have a good idea of what they’re doing online. This guy’s Wall included comments from kids saying, “Who are you?” but they “friended” him anyway.

I just got lucky to see this…but I may not next time. I’ve never seen anything like this before, on either MySpace or Facebook, and I don’t want to again. Let’s all be on the lookout for our kids’ safety.

By the way, this also prompted me to make sure my kids have their profiles set so that only friends can see them. Otherwise, even if my kids are being careful about who they friend, some sketchy guy who’s their friend’s friend would be able to see their profile. Yikes!

* I was able to see his profile, and clicked on “Report” at the bottom of his page. However, I don’t see that at the bottom of all pages. When I clicked on Help / Safety & Security / Report Abuse, I filled out a form, hit submit, and got the error message to the right.

Facebook / MySpace Safety Guide for Parents

Posted on 09. May, 2008 by kchristieh in education, parenting, social networking

I’ve given four talks about internet safety to parent groups over the last two days. Here’s a brief summary of the Facebook / MySpace portion of my talk. You can also see it on my Facebook / MySpace Safety Guide for Parents page. I’ll keep that updated as time goes by.

Click here for my easy step-by-step instructions for adults who wish to join Facebook.

A Brief History

Several years ago, local teenagers flocked to and set up highly personalized, mostly public pages. When parents discovered these pages, they were appalled at some of the things their kids were posting and the fact that anyone in the world could easily see what their children were doing. So the kids set their pages to Private. This didn’t mean the skanky stuff disappeared, but at least the rest of the world couldn’t see it.

Then dropped its requirement that users have a college email address. Many high schoolers and adults joined, and now Facebook is quickly gaining in popularity. There are some communities where MySpace is still more popular, but at least in my city, Facebook is It.

What is Facebook?

Facebook is a free website where users are given their own page to post information, news, pictures and videos about themselves. When they become someone’s Facebook “friend,” that person can see their page and communicate with them. It’s a great way to find friends you’ve lost track of and keep up with what your circle of friends is doing. It’s also the primary way that many people are sharing photos and videos, because you can “tag” those videos with your friends’ names and they’ll show up on their pages too.

Why should parents care what their kids are doing online?

• Safety: You want to make sure your kids aren’t communicating with someone who intends to harm them.
• Bullying: Whether it’s nasty messages or groups dedicated to hating a person, the internet opens up whole new realms of bullying possibilities. It’s also not always kid vs. kid; sometimes, kids are saying inappropriate things about their teachers.
• Privacy: Sometimes people forget that the internet is a public forum, and somehow information that they consider private is actually public.
• Mature themes: We all draw the line somewhere, and you want to make sure your online rules are consistent with your offline ones.
• Ads: Even innocent internet pages might be accompanied by racy ads.
• Time usage: It’s addictive, and can waste a lot of time.
• Identity theft: Put the pieces together and someone can even open a credit card in your child’s name.
• Self-branding: Is your child’s online image what he wants his community, potential employers and colleges to see? Even if it’s private, there are colleges and employers that are asking for access to pages.

What’s the difference between MySpace and Facebook?

• Real names vs. pseudonyms:
  Here’s a quote from a recent study:
  “ Nearly all of Facebook’s 70 million members use their real names, while less than half of MySpace’s 110 million members use theirs.”
  I’m not surprised. I saw lots of nicknames and pseudonyms on MySpace, but the guidelines and the culture of Facebook really encourage people to use their real names, and not hide behind an anonymous facade. This results in more honest dialogue and discussion, and less inappropriate behavior than on MySpace. After all, if you’re yourself, you’ll have to answer to what you post when you see your Facebook friends in real life.
• Privacy:
  Facebook also has extensive, customizable privacy controls. Last time I checked, your only options on MySpace were either a private or a public page. On Facebook, one can choose to only show photos to friends, or friends of friends, or one’s network, or everyone. Same thing goes for videos, groups joined., etc.
• Ads:
  MySpace puts any ad, anywhere. A high school church youth group page might have a “Want to have an affair?” ad above it. At least at the moment, Facebook ads are more targeted, and I don’t see that happening. Middle-aged women are asked if they need a chiropracter or want to buy shoes, and their husbands are asked about rock ‘n roll fantasy camps.
• Constantly improving:
  Facebook seems to improve at a quicker pace than MySpace, which makes it safer and more fun to use.
• Cleaner interface:
  MySpace pages allowed so much customization that they were often cluttered, unreadable and loud. Think yellow writing on a black background with repeating sports logos and heavy metal music playing. On the converse, all Facebook pages have a grid pattern and a white background. They’re much more tasteful, and much easier to read.

Safety Tips:

• Only let people be friends if you know them in person
• Revise & frequently review your privacy settings
• Use a different password for every site. Use a formula so you don’t always need to write them down.
• Post as few identifying facts, such as your address and the city and date of your birth, as possible
• Don’t assume you have privacy
• Make sure no one’s set up a fake page for you
• Don’t visit porn sites or sites selling questionable wares. Besides that they’re inappropriate, they often leave spyware or viruses on your computer.
• Don’t share your password with anyone except your parents
• See what others have to say about an application before you add it.
• Don’t add too many applications
• Don’t add applications that ask for a password
• Don’t join inappropriate groups
• Don’t post pictures, videos or other information about other people unless they approve
• Once you’re logged in, don’t log in again
• Make sure you have a computer operating system, firewall and anti-virus program that update automatically
• Back up your computer regularly
• Block and report anyone that sends you unwanted or inappropriate communications
• Consider signing up for Lifelock as a backup to prevent identity theft. I signed up after my mail was stolen a few months ago. I still take steps to protect my identity, but I’m glad I have the backup.

Steps parents should take to make sure their kids are safe on Facebook and other websites:

• “Children under 13 years old are not permitted access to Facebook. In addition, parents of children 13 years and older should consider whether their child should be supervised during the child’s use of the Facebook site.” (Source:
• Keep internet-connected computers in plain view
• Join Facebook before your kid does (if possible)
• Add friends, applications, groups, photos, etc. to your own page so that you know how it all works
• Be your kid’s “friend” – in full profile!
• Be your kid’s friends’ “friend” (if possible)
• Don’t stalk or embarrass your child. If you send him a message, it’s private. If you post something on his Wall, it’s public, and all his friends can see it.
• Get your child’s username and password. If your child starts exhibiting strange or self-destructive behavior, you’ll probably want to see what’s going on online. Otherwise, you’ll probably never need this. But have it just in case.
• Check your child’s profile regularly.
• Challenge them to tell you something about their friends.
• Check your child’s privacy settings with them.
• Share safety tips with them.
• Don’t assume Facebook or other parents will monitor your child’s safety. That’s up to you and your child.
• Set limits on time and access.
• Balance trust & monitoring – trust your intuition.

Internet security software:

Some people choose to monitor and restrict their child’s online activities using security software. I don’t, since I don’t want anything else on my computer that might mess it up and I don’t suspect that my kids are up to anything, but here are some things the software can be used for: (source)

• Filter sexually explicit graphic descriptions or images: These tools block your child from viewing most sexually explicit material on the Web. But be aware, no filter is perfect.
• Monitor your child’s online activities: These tools allow parents and caregivers the ability to monitor your child’s online activities through a variety of methods.
• Limit the amount of time your child spends online: These tools can limit the amount time you child spends online. Some tools allow parents to block out times of the day when the child can or cannot go online.
• Block your child’s personal information from being posted or emailed: These tools prevent a child from giving strangers their personal information (e.g. name, home address, etc.) while they are online.
• Browsers for kids: These are Web browsers that serve as a gateway between your computer and the Internet. Browsers for kids generally filter sexual or otherwise inappropriate words or images. They are often designed to be easier for kids to use.

Programs include:

Learn which programs satisfy your needs and computer system at GetNetWise.org

MySpace is not the Antichrist

Posted on 12. Apr, 2008 by kchristieh in parenting, social networking

“As far as I’m concerned, MySpace is the Antichrist for children.”

So says Patrick Lindsay, whose 16-year-old daughter was brutally beaten by six teenage girls after she posted defamatory comments on MySpace. A videotape of the 30-minute beating was then posted on YouTube.

I feel for Mr. Lindsay and his daughter, but I disagree. MySpace is a communication tool that can be used for good or evil, just as YouTube, Facebook or even Microsoft Word can. It is not inherently evil.

On the other hand, I think it’s easier to make bad judgments with greater ramifications on MySpace than on most other websites. When MySpace was popular among our local teens a year or two ago, I saw scantily clad adolescents, cursing, and mean-spirited remarks on some of their public pages. I think the MySpace culture often doesn’t encourage people to take responsibility for being their real selves, and naive and immature teens often wind up posting things they come to regret. As a result, I didn’t let my kids create MySpace profiles. (I do let them have Facebook pages, however.)

The bottom line: parents need to monitor their kids’ internet usage. Most parents want to know where there kids are in the “real” world, so they shouldn’t abdicate that responsibility in the virtual world. As the sheriff’s deputy who spoke at one of our PTSA meetings said when asked about whether parents can monitor their kids’ internet usage: if you don’t, then “Shame on you.”

You know you’re an adult in La Canada Flintridge when…

Posted on 29. Mar, 2008 by kchristieh in local news, social networking

• You’ve had to explain to people that you’re not from Canada.
• You’ve shopped at Ralphs even when Vons is closer.
• Even though Arco is cheaper, sometimes you go to other gas stations so you can use your credit card.
• You know that wherever you go in town, you’ll see someone you know.
• You tell your kids they won’t get away with anything in this town because someone will always find out and tell you.
• You know who Officer Smith is, and may have even appreciated him.
• You’d never dare drive over 40 on Foothill.
• You can count on one hand the number of friends who have moved out of town since you’ve lived here.
• You know what PCR, PCY, LCE, FIS, LCPC, LAFC, ALF, LCJBSA, Gala, Parent Ed, Fiesta Days and LCHS stand for.
• You can’t really figure out who all those kids are that go to school in the old FIS building are. But you’re pretty sure they’re not Scientologists.
• Your child played AYSO and LCJBSA.
• You sent your child to the Gollatz Cotillion.
• You love the concept of a bookstore here, but you admit to still buying books on Amazon.com.
• You’re often surprised when someone says they’re a Democrat.
• You love the Korean food at elementary school carnivals.
• You call the local freeway “The 210″ instead of “The Foothill Freeway.”
• You can’t wait for the sewer construction to end.
• You have either parrots or peacocks in your neighborhood, unless you have rattlesnakes and coyotes instead.
• If you’re a woman, you’re either in a book club or have been asked to join a book club.
• When you go to the library, you don’t browse: you pick up the books you ordered online.
• There are some people in town who everyone knows by their first name: Anthony, Jinny, Janice, Damon, Wendy, …
• Every adult you know in town has a child.
• You sometimes feel like a family with just two kids is small.
• Your children think that God made women with blonde hair, and men with brown hair.
• You’ve woken up at an insanely early hour to sign your kid up for preschool, camp, sports, summer school, parent ed., etc.
• You and your neighbors can’t agree on whether LCF is rural or suburban.
• You can’t believe you need to cross the street to get your mail.
• You love Trader Joe’s but hate its parking lot.
• You’ve marched in at least one Fiesta Days parade.
• You wish you had a funny little car like the Shriners in the parade do.
• You tell your kids never to drive into the mountains.
• Your teen has begged you to schedule her driving test in Newhall, even though Glendale is right next door.
• You hope your child won’t be at the high school in a big earthquake.
• You have a strong opinion about whether Home Goods going into the Sport Chalet Town Center is a good thing.
• You feel sorry for Penguins, but go to Pinkberry anyway.
• You don’t miss Hidden Treasures. Is it really gone?
• You think the town has enough banks, cleaners and hair salons.
• You either drive a big car, a luxury car, or a Prius.
• After a few years here you can recognize people from behind by their hair or the way they walk.
• You’ve given money to supplement public education funding.
• You read the Valley Sun and the Outlook cover to cover each Thursday.
• You have a favorite Mexican restaurant and a favorite pizza parlor in town.
• You forget you’re on top of a freeway when you’re at Memorial Park.
• When your kids were little, they loved running up and down the hill at the park during Music in the Park.
• You go to Pasadena to see most of your movies.
• As illogical as it may seem, you know that the exit to In-N-Out is after the exit for the 134.
• You scan the Rose Parade program to make sure not to miss the La Canada float.
• It drives you crazy when people say “Hahamonga” instead of “Hahamongna.”
• You’ve argued with people who think that JPL is in Pasadena.
• If you live in Flintridge, you only call it that if you’ve lived there more than 20 years. Otherwise, you say you live in La Canada.

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I’ve created a Facebook group called “” with this list on it. Join Facebook and let me know if you have any additions to the list!

Hillary, please step aside

Posted on 27. Mar, 2008 by kchristieh in politics, social networking

After detailing how utterly improbable it is that Hillary Clinton will wind up with more popular votes than Barack Obama, Nicholas Kristof says the following in today’s NY Times:

Meanwhile, the big winner of the Democratic fist-fighting is Senator McCain. A Gallup poll released Wednesday found that 19 percent of Mr. Obama’s supporters said they would vote for Mr. McCain in the general election if Mrs. Clinton were the nominee. More startling, 28 percent of Mrs. Clinton’s supporters said they would defect to Mr. McCain if Mr. Obama were the nominee.

Exit polls show the same trend. In South Carolina in January, about 70 percent of each candidate’s supporters said they would be happy if the other person ended up winning the nomination. By the Ohio and Texas primaries in March, fewer than half of each candidate’s supporters said they would be content with the other person as nominee.

Granted, tempers may cool by November. But dragging out the contest only deepens wounds and reduces time for healing: In 9 of the last 10 presidential elections, the nominee chosen first ended up winning in November. And if the Democratic nominee has been crippled, that would hurt Democrats running for other offices as well.

What’s up with Clinton’s supporters? Obama’s platform is much closer to Clinton’s than McCain’s is. I prefer Obama, but if Clinton is the nominee, I’ll support her. But Kristof is right: the more time goes by, the less confident I am in the other candidate.

So, PLEASE step aside, Hillary! Do it for the good of the country, so that the Democrats can unite and win this race!!!

Click if you’re interested in joining the “Hillary, for the good of our country it’s time to step aside” group on Facebook. I have the feeling this group will get quite big! Also, click to join Nicholas Kristof’s fan club on Facebook.

Facebook coincidence: 1 in a Million

Posted on 26. Mar, 2008 by kchristieh in social networking

The following items showed up next to each other on my Facebook News Feed today. Pretty coincidental, but knowing the parties involved, I’m not going to read any deeper meaning into it: