Don’t box me in with labels

Posted on 14. Jul, 2010 by kchristieh in my life

When a well-meaning friend recently referred to me as a “Mommy Blogger,” I instantly got defensive. Over the past 1,400+ blog posts, I’ve covered a wide variety of topics and made a conscious effort not to use my unsuspecting family as my primary blogging material. In fact, a quick survey of my most recent 20 posts shows that only 1 centered on something I did as a parent, and that one (“Why I Love Baccalaureate“) could have been written by anyone in attendance at that event. As blessed as I am to be a parent, I especially don’t want to be labeled as something that doesn’t totally define me, or that implies something I’m not.

Here are some other labels that people have pinned on me, and why I hope you can see beyond them:

MOM: I’m the proud parent of a 16-year-old and an 18-year-old. They’re great kids, and yes, they call me “Mom.” But I have my own life, with just as many friends on Facebook, and I don’t need to live vicariously through them, spy on them, or pander to them the way the “Mom” label might imply to some people. Ironically, or perhaps predictably, I think that the people that put the “Mom” label on me the most are my children’s peers.

WIFE: I’ve been married 23 years to a great guy. Wow. That’s twice as long as my parents were married to each other. I’m blessed to be in a marriage loaded with mutual love, respect, values, interests, etc. But as much as I may be the one that makes the dinner and drives the kids, I have my own life too. And so does my husband. Being a wife is wonderful, but it’s not all that I am.

DEMOCRAT: Over the past 19 years, I think I’ve only voted for one Republican. As much as I’d like to call myself an Independent, because I do think independently, I think my voting record definitely qualifies me as a Democrat. But I don’t agree with all the positions of the Democratic party, even some that are basic to other people. I think my positions are consistent and logical, but don’t we all?

WHITE: When I was an RA in college, one of the students in my dorm, whose father had been a sharecropper, called me the most “white bread” person she’d ever known. Yes, I am White. The parts of me that don’t see the light of day could blind you with their brightness, and I am shocked at how closely I align with the website “Stuff White People Like.” Yesterday I dragged the kids to Whole Foods to get more Mandarin Pumpkin Marmalade for my morning crêpe, and they said that was incredibly White of me. Given that for the over 400 years that I can trace back my family tree all my ancestors hail from Northern Europeans, this label sticks. But please don’t think that because I’m one race, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love people of all races. I married a Latino man, who has ancestors over the past 150 years that were Native American, Persian, Italian, and Spanish. I don’t care what race the person my children go out with or marry someday is; I care about what’s in that person’s heart, and in their character. And if you really want to get technical, I’m not exactly white. I’m more like the square on the right, which is hex #FFF3ED.

JERSEY GIRL: Yes, I was born in New Jersey. But I chose to leave. See the next label.

CALIFORNIAN: I LOVE California. I love the weather, the diversity of people and their cultures, and the geography. But most of all, I love the energy and enthusiasm of my adopted state, and the freedom and encouragement to venture forth and buck tradition to try new things. But I don’t have blinders on; I know California isn’t perfect. Our public education system is sinking fast at all levels, and we’re far from resolving important issues like immigration, prison overcrowding, and health care. We’ve also taken a big hit economically over the past few years. So while I’m proud and blessed to be a Californian, like my state, I’m complicated and not easily labeled. Ditto for being AMERICAN. I was so lucky to be born here, and am so proud to be a citizen of a country that values freedom so highly. But it doesn’t mean I agree with everything our nation does. Thankfully I have the freedom to be able to say that!

MIDDLE-AGED: I’m 47. Born in 1963, high school class of 1981, college class of 1985. I don’t hide it. Even so, I don’t feel any older than I did 20 years ago. Sure, only my hairdresser knows the true color of my lovely locks, and you won’t see me in a bikini anymore. But I feel like I have just as much energy and zest as I ever have. I embrace the information revolution, and have loved keeping up with all the new tools that allow me to stay efficient and productive in my life and in my career. My age actually benefits me in that I’ve experienced so much more of life that I feel smarter and wiser than ever. So call me middle-aged, but make sure it’s a compliment, not a hindrance. (Oh, how I hope this is all true in 20 years!)

CHRISTIAN: I am Christian. I believe that God sent Jesus to us because he loves us, and that we should follow his teachings and LOVE one another. And that’s the rub: I think that many Christians these days, who spend the bulk of their time bashing people they don’t agree with, shed a bad light on Christianity. I think God loves everyone, no matter what their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. and that we should too. So I hope that when you label me as a Christian, you think love, not hate.

GEEK: Yes, I have an MS in engineering, and can easily stay up all night refining the code on a website to make sure that each pixel matches up. But “Geek” to some people implies a lack of social skills, and that’s definitely not a problem for me. (See the Facebook reference above.)

Maybe if you combine these labels you’ll get a better picture of who I am, as long as you bear in mind the ways I’ve stated I don’t adhere to their stereotypes. Once people know me, they know that instead of labels, they should use adjectives to describe me. I’d prefer hard-working, caring, flexible, social, eager, curious, and many others. Just be careful not to stereotype me. I’m a unique person, with lots to contribute, just like everyone else.

PS – Despite not wanting to be called a “Mommy Blogger,” I will probably write a few posts about my first child going off to college next month. I may not only be a Mom, but it is a big part of who I am, and we’re going through some big changes in our house.

Watch parables come to life

Posted on 07. Apr, 2010 by kchristieh in religion

I’m a visual person. I’m far more likely to remember an image I see than words I read. That’s why I love the 36 Parables video series. This innovative project is bringing the parables of Jesus to life via short films.

These films are well-made and thought-provoking. They’re not at all dorky, and their messages have really stuck with me. Here’s one of my favorites: “Sean”, about a boy who’s in big trouble at school. It’s based on the Parable of the Barren Fig Tree (Luke 13:6-9)

The 36 Parables blog advises that you view the movie first, then read the passage it’s based on, then watch it again. I found that to be especially potent, as it helped me to internalize the message of the video and of the parable better.

Which one is your favorite?

Happy Easter

Posted on 04. Apr, 2010 by kchristieh in religion

As seen at La Canada Presbyterian Church this morning. People bring flowers from their gardens to adorn the cross.

“The Life of Christ” – Painting by Ayres Houghtelling

Posted on 04. Apr, 2010 by kchristieh in art, religion

Jesus fit a lot into the short time he ministered here on Earth, and Ayres Houghtelling did an excellent job of conveying the most important events in one painting, “The Life of Christ”. My grandparents had a print of “The Life of Christ” hanging in their home when I was growing up, and I loved it so much I found my own copy on Ebay a few years ago. I wish that my photo of the print did it more justice, because its incredible details draw you in as your eye follows key events in Christ’s life.

The Life of Christ by Ayres Houghtelling

Houghtelling called this technique of visualizing a series of events on one canvas an “art-told tale”, and it’s the same technique he used for the Alice in Wonderland painting I recently blogged about.

I found the article below from the Dec. 22, 1948 Norwalk (CT) Hour via Google’s impressive archives:

From the Norwalk (CT) Hour, Dec. 22, 1948

It explains that before even starting the painting, Houghtelling spent six months preparing himself mentally and spiritually, studying the New Testament and determining his concept of the characters and the continuity of the scene. The painting was ultimately praised by prominent religious leaders including Francis Cardinal Spellman, Archbishop of New York, who wrote that, “This beautiful picture evidences deep and reverent knowledge of the life and mission of the Saviour and inspires one to prayer and meditation.” Another article in the Google archives, from page 23 of the the , says that the original painting depicts Christ 46 times in a span of 40 ” x 30″. It was scheduled to be displayed at the Museum of Modern Art in New York later that Spring, and was featured in Collier’s magazine the following winter. The article said that his next project was slated to be a pictorial depiction of “Treasure Island.”

After I blogged about “Alice in Wonderland”, I was honored to hear from Houghtelling’s widow, Lydia Houghtelling. She says the following about “The Life of Christ”:

It was his first attempt at painting in an allegorical style and he thought that if he could paint the entire life of Christ in that style, then he could do anything. He spent a year on Marco Island (before it became a settled community), researching and painting it. It was viewed in the Crowell-Colliers Boardroom by Cardinal Francis Spellman who wrote a lovely letter commending the painting…After it was published, Ayres’ agent told him that the painting had perished in a warehouse fire….That was then…years later, when we had met and married, he decided to redo his Life of Christ ….and also painted another beautiful painting, Restaurare Omnia in Christo…representing the Renaissance of Christ.

Mrs. Houghtelling generously sent me some absolutely amazing cameo prints that her husband painted after the original “Alice in Wonderland” painting. I’ll share them with you in a later post.

Have a wonderful Easter, and I hope that you are inspired by this incredible painting.

How does Tim Tebow offend and Danica Patrick doesn’t?

Posted on 07. Feb, 2010 by kchristieh in advertising, religion, things that bug me

For weeks, I’ve been hearing about how offensive was going to be. A coalition of women’s groups called on CBS not to run the ad.

When I finally saw the commercial, I was indeed stunned: I couldn’t believe the brouhaha was over this.

Here’s the script. What’s offensive about it?

Tim Tebow’s mother: “I call him my miracle baby. He almost didn’t make it into this world. I can remember so many times when I almost lost him. It was so hard. Well, he’s all grown up now, and I STILL worry about his health. You know, with all our family’s been through, we have to be tough!”
[Tim Tebow comes out of the side of the screen and tackles her.]
Mom: “Timmy! We’re trying to tell our story here.”
Tim: “Sorry about that, Mom! Do you still worry about me, Mom?”
Mom: “Well yeah! You’re not nearly as tough as I am!”
For the full Tebow story, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Frankly, I could have filmed that commercial. My son was in neonatal for eight days after he was born, and I didn’t get to hold him until he was five days old. I still worry about him, especially when he plays football, and with good reason. He used to tackle me when he was two years old, and I’m glad he doesn’t anymore.

Where’s the feminist outrage over the GoDaddy commercial where Danica Patrick gets a massage from a woman who rips off her shirt to declare that she’d be a great GoDaddy girl (and if you see the internet version, dances like a skank)? Is this what “equal rights” means? Or how about the , where Kim Kardashian seduces a salad and winds up eating it in a bathtub? And speaking of bathtubs, how about the Motorola commercial where the woman takes a picture of herself and sends it over the internet, including to a young boy behind a closed door? So much for all the anti-sexting lectures we give our kids!

My husband and I have long disagreed about abortion: he’s pro-choice, and I’m pro-life. But even he’s stunned by the negative reaction to this ad. It’s sad when something this benign is slammed, even as people close their eyes to other offensive material playing all around them.

A few more notes:

Check out the Focus on the Family link. Tim Tebow’s parents talk about how they were advised to get an abortion because of medical problems. They chose not to, because they had faith that God had a plan for their baby. Later in the interview, when asked what she’d tell a young woman who’s pregnant and thinking of aborting her baby, Tim’s mother says,

“I would say that baby’s not a mistake, even though it might seem that way to her, and that God will enable her to do the right thing, and to give her the encouragement she needs, that there’s also help for her, and there’s help that she doesn’t even know about yet. There’s so many people, so many pregnancy crisis centers across the country just waiting to encourage someone in her position. And girls have those options. They have a choice.”

Isn’t it ironic that pro-choice people are complaining that someone is reminding people that they have a choice?

By the way, I’ve been switching accounts away from GoDaddy ever since I saw one of their offensive commercials a few years ago. These days, I choose Bluehost.com instead. They’ve got great customer service, and are good for not only regular websites but for Wordpress installations.

The Westboro Baptist Church forgets that God is love

Posted on 29. Jan, 2010 by kchristieh in religion

Here’s a shout-out to the students, parents, staff and supporters of Gunn High School in Palo Alto, CA for protesting the demonstration by the members of the Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church. These insensitive, hateful people had the nerve to tell the Gunn community that the reason that five of their students had recently committed suicide was that they failed to obey God.

“You’ll be in front of the train next! God laughs at your calamity!” shouted Margie Phelps, wearing an American flag as a skirt.

The daughter of Westboro Church founder Fred Phelps, she said that the Gunn students died because they failed to obey God, and now live in hell.

This story literally made me cry. I can’t fathom the pain that Gunn has gone through, and am completely appalled that anyone would try to drive such a knife through that hurt. The fact that these people call themselves Christian is shameful and embarrassing, and I hope that people realize that the Westboro Baptist Church does NOT represent the viewpoint of mainstream Christianity.

When the church members (oh, it hurts to call them that!) sang ugly lyrics to “America the Beautiful,” students countered with “All You Need is Love.”

They get it. Just like the rest of us, Gunn students need love. The God I embrace is a God of love, not a God of hate.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (I John 4:8)

After the Gunn protest, the WBC folks (better label!) went to the Stanford campus to protest in front of the Jewish student center, Hillel. They wanted to tell Hillel students that they too were destined for Hell. I’m so proud of the Stanford response: over 1,000 people showed up in solidarity to let the WBC know that their hatred wasn’t welcome on campus. The band and the Tree were even there.

“I just wanted to come out and show them that being a Christian isn’t about hate, it’s about love,” said Monica Alcazar, a Stanford freshman and Gunn graduate.

I wish I could have been there.

Links:

• “Protestors at Gunn, Stanford confront ‘God hates America’ group” (San Jose Mercury News)
• “Op-Ed: Westboro: A Christian Response” (The Stanford Daily)
• “A Few Comments on Westboro Baptist Church’s Visits to Stanford and Gunn High School” (Fiat Lux blog)

Am I a Disney Princess?

Posted on 28. Jun, 2009 by kchristieh in movies, my life

After watching Enchanted again last night, I came to the realization that perhaps I am a Disney Princess. The evidence is overwhelming:

1. I have a handsome prince.
2. I’m allergic to apples.
3. When I sing the animals come to me.

The last one was the clincher. Before I went to bed, I belted out my best falsetto and a spider crawled out from the floorboard and my dog emerged from under the bed.

Is it good to be a Princess? In “Stranded in Neverland,” Christianity Today writer Skye Jethani argues that the Disney Princess franchise appeals to our most base consumer instincts. I think that’s true, and I confess that I am susceptible to that sometimes.

However, Enchanted reminds us that it’s all about love, especially true love. And that’s and ideal that everyone should strive for.

What is your calling?

Posted on 06. Jun, 2009 by kchristieh in quotes, religion, work

I had the privilege of speaking about my website design business at the 8th grade career day at the La Canada High School junior high school just over a week ago. After my sessions were over, I volunteered to take some pictures of Todd Johnson, a Fuller Theological Seminary professor, speaking to a group of kids. I know Todd already, so I knew he’d be wonderful, but I was curious to see how he’d handle a theological discussion in a public school.

He was perfect. He was very diplomatic, and stuck to the questions that the kids asked him. I was struck by how interested the kids were in deeper faith issues. I wish our kids had more opportunities to discuss theology. The Mormon church and Catholic schools do a wonderful job of this, but my kids don’t attend either of those. My teens get great support for questions of faith and life issues, but they don’t have as much of a biblical education as I wish they would. It’ll be interesting to see if they pursue that in college.

Anyway, I actually wrote down my favorite quote from Todd:

“Your calling is where your greatest joy meets the world’s greatest need.”

May we all find our calling.

It is a great quote, orginially from theologian Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking “…Vocation is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet…”

Why did you or didn’t you go to church on Easter?

Posted on 23. Mar, 2008 by kchristieh in inspirational people, local news, music, my life, religion

I was quite relieved last summer when I found out that . If she could have doubts, then I figure it’s ok if the rest of us do.

That was the essence of the Easter sermon at my church today: it’s healthy to doubt. Some of Christ’s disciples even had doubts sometimes, and they were at his side to witness miracles. If you don’t question your beliefs, then you might be perceived as irrational or delusional. And maybe you are. Then again, maybe you’re not. Sometimes I wish I never had doubts, because I think I’d probably be more effective at communicating my Christian faith to others. It’s no coincidence that the world’s fastest growing faiths are those that encourage unquestioning religious devotion. It’s easier in life to just see the world as black and white, and not have to think through what others are telling you to believe.

I think it’s ok that I naturally question things. I believe the world is more grey than black and white. But even with my questioning and doubts, I always come back to having faith in God. It’s at my core. I think my questioning usually helps make my faith stronger. It also helps me appreciate others even when they come to different conclusions.

Garrison Keillor wrote a great essay called “Thinking weaselish thoughts at Eastertide” on Salon.com this week about whether he just attends church because he likes hanging out with nice people and listening to organ music. Even so, I think he’s also seeking truths, and I hope he finds them.

I thought of him as I sang the “” at the end of today’s service. I was in choir for most of my youth, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE singing the alto part to that song. It brings tears to my eyes. I’m such a sentimental gal sometimes. I love this that shows the four-part score as an unseen choir sings the song.

After church, we decided to take it easy and go to In-N-Out before the relatives descended upon our home. Bad choice: it was closed. Not surprising, given that they put a Bible verse on their cups. We wound up having a great meal at Islands. As we were leaving, one of my son’s friends called and asked to come over since there was a convict in his neighborhood. We said “no” at first, since we were having relatives over, but when he got off the phone we got the full story and changed our minds. It turns out that (to the best of our knowledge) an escaped convict from Colorado had stolen a car and the car was found on our friends’ street. There was a SWAT team in place, and residents were evacuated. We invited the family to dinner, and had such a lovely time that we hope to spend many more holidays with them. It’s funny how things work out.

Here’s a picture of the helicopter circling above La Canada. I took it as my husband drove up the 2 Freeway.

They wound up catching the guy the next day sitting at a bus stop in the middle of town. Click here for more details.

Sponsor a Bible verse translation for under $30

Posted on 10. Jan, 2008 by kchristieh in books, cool websites, religion

This morning I was looking at Design Meltdown’s list of notable religious websites when I happened upon OneVerse. I love innovative internet applications, and since it relates to last night’s “Bibles are born in China but can’t return home” post, I thought I’d share this with you.

OneVerse offers people the opportunity to sponsor Bible translations by the verse. According to its About page,

Through OneVerse, you can join with a team of prayer and financial partners to support local Bible translators. OneVerse empowers you to help translate one verse into one language for under $30. Because each language project of The Seed Company has different funding needs, the price breakdown will vary from project to project. Your donation will support local men and women who are sacrificing to see the Word of God in their heart language.

You can choose which People Group you want to sponsor the translation for, and then choose the exact verse(s) you want to sponsor. I chose to sponsor one of my faves, John 1:5, for the Irigwe in Nigeria. (“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”) Then I felt bad, like I’d taken the most perfect piece of cake at a birthday party, so I also sponsored the most boring verse I could find. (Matthew 1:10: “Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh. Manasseh was the father of Amon. Amon was the father of Josiah.”) I hope no one’s offended by the sponsorship comment I left for the second one. (“boring but important”)

This would be a great confirmation, Christmas or graduation gift. Or just do it because you think it’s cool.

Bibles are born in China, but can’t return home

Posted on 09. Jan, 2008 by kchristieh in books, international, religion, sports

From Salon.com’s How the World Works column:

Nanjing will soon be home to the world’s biggest Bible factory, reports The China Post.

“The aircraft hangar-sized plant on an industrial park outside the eastern city of Nanjing will be capable of producing more than one Bible every second and is expected to supply one quarter of all the world’s Bibles by 2009.”

Let’s hope our Olympic athletes aren’t looking for spiritual comfort. Here’s what the Chinese government has posted on the Official Beijing Olympics website:

Bringing in the following articles is prohibited:

…

4. Manuscripts, printed matter, films, photographs, gramophone records, cinematographic films, loaded recording tapes and videotapes, etc. which are detrimental to China’s politics, economy, culture, and ethics.

Apparently I’m not the only one who sees the hypocrisy here. According to The China Post,

There is a massive irony in China becoming the leading exporter of Bibles at a time when religious freedoms in the nation of 1.3 billion remain tightly restricted and smuggling of unauthorized Bibles can still lead to a jail sentence.

Earlier this year, one of the leaders of China’s underground Protestant church was released after serving three years hard labor for possessing thousands of unauthorized Bibles. He reportedly spent his sentence making soccer balls for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Wow. Between bad air and regressive human rights, what was the Olympic committee thinking?

(And, does writing posts like this and others severely restrict my chances of getting travel visas in the future??? That trip to the Pacific Northwest is looking better and better…)

Would Jesus be G.I. Joe’s best friend?

Posted on 10. Oct, 2007 by kchristieh in religion, shopping

I never played with action figures as a kid, so I’m not sure what to think of the Deluxe Jesus Action Figure. On the one hand, he does come with loaves and fishes, but on the other hand, I’m afraid he’d wind up at the bottom of the toybox or as ironic icon in someone’s cubicle. That just seems wrong.

I love this review from :

I mean, come ON, now… you put out a miniature plasticized representation of The King of Kings, and He can only rotate His head and shoulders, and bend His elbows?! You can’t have Him properly re-enact the turning over of the merchants’ counters in the temple with such limited poseability! And you may as well forget about re-enacting the Crucifixion…

Re-enacting the Crucifixion would definitely be much more intense than pretending Barbie’s going on a date with Ken, or that G.I. Joe’s in Iraq. If a Jesus action figure gets people to think about what Jesus taught and stood for, then that’s good. But if it’s used in a sacrilegious way (and I won’t list any here), that’s not good.

This past Sunday’s NYTimes Magazine reports in “Jesus Christ: Superhero” that these dolls are even being sold at Wal-Mart, so they may be coming to a toybox near you.

What do you think?

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Longing for the mud

Posted on 23. Jul, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, education

Here’s my new French phrase for the day: “nostalgie de la boue.” It means “longing for the mud,” as in when someone longs for something below where they really should be. Thomas Chatterton Williams uses it in his Washington Post article “Black Culture Beyond Hip-Hop.” He says that nostalgie de la boue exacts a heavy price among America’s Black youth.

The historian Paul Fussell notes that for most Americans, it is difficult to “class sink.” Try to imagine the Chinese American son of oncologists — living in, say, a New York suburb such as Westchester, attending private school — who feels subconsciously compelled to model his life, even if only superficially, on that of a Chinese mafioso dealing heroin on the Lower East Side. The cultural pressure for a middle-class Chinese American to walk, talk and act like a lower-class thug from Chinatown is nil. The same can be said of Jews, or of any other ethnic group.

But in black America the folly is so commonplace it fails to attract serious attention. Like neurotics obsessed with amputating their own healthy limbs, middle-class blacks concerned with “keeping it real” are engaging in gratuitously self-destructive and violently masochistic behavior.

Thankfully, there’s not much nostalgie de la boue in our community. Unless, of course, you count the “mud bowl” at the high school church camp…

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Scrubbing movies

Posted on 24. Aug, 2006 by kchristieh in movies, religion

Sometimes I wish I could delete certain gratuitous scenes from movies so that I’d feel comfortable having my kids watch them. For example, I’d love to have them watch “Pay it Forward,” but there’s an unnecessary scene that I don’t want them to see.

That’s why CleanFlicks was founded. It would “scrub” a movie by editing out what they deemed to be objectionable scenes, and then sell it to the public along with an original copy of the movie. That way, a movie studio wouldn’t be able to claim that it lost business, and in fact would make money from someone who wouldn’t have otherwise paid for their movie.

I understand, and wish it were legal. However, it’s compromising someone else’s “art,” and could be confusing to the public. So, I agree with the courts when they decided it was illegal. Here’s how Christianity Today (yes, this is the second article of theirs in two days that I cite!) puts it.

No, you’re thieves, the Directors Guild of America responded, and sued for copyright infringement. In early July, the directors won. CleanFlicks does “irreparable injury to the creative artistic expression in the copyrighted movies,” U.S. District Judge Richard P. Matsch wrote. “Their business is illegitimate.”

I guess the best way to encourage studios to put out family-friendly movies is to write letters and mostly to not view objectionable ones. Frankly, even when I don’t take my kids to a movie, I don’t want to see gratuitous scenes. At least I can use the internet (e.g., ScreenIt.com) to check a movie out before I pay money or take time to see it.