Wednesday, 14th July 2010

Don’t box me in with labels

Posted on 14. Jul, 2010 by kchristieh in my life

Don’t box me in with labels

labels on a boxWhen a well-meaning friend recently referred to me as a “Mommy Blogger,” I instantly got defensive. Over the past 1,400+ blog posts, I’ve covered a wide variety of topics and made a conscious effort not to use my unsuspecting family as my primary blogging material. In fact, a quick survey of my most recent 20 posts shows that only 1 centered on something I did as a parent, and that one (“Why I Love Baccalaureate“) could have been written by anyone in attendance at that event. As blessed as I am to be a parent, I especially don’t want to be labeled as something that doesn’t totally define me, or that implies something I’m not.

Here are some other labels that people have pinned on me, and why I hope you can see beyond them:

MOM: I’m the proud parent of a 16-year-old and an 18-year-old. They’re great kids, and yes, they call me “Mom.” But I have my own life, with just as many friends on Facebook, and I don’t need to live vicariously through them, spy on them, or pander to them the way the “Mom” label might imply to some people. Ironically, or perhaps predictably, I think that the people that put the “Mom” label on me the most are my children’s peers.

WIFE: I’ve been married 23 years to a great guy. Wow. That’s twice as long as my parents were married to each other. I’m blessed to be in a marriage loaded with mutual love, respect, values, interests, etc. But as much as I may be the one that makes the dinner and drives the kids, I have my own life too. And so does my husband. Being a wife is wonderful, but it’s not all that I am.

DEMOCRAT: Over the past 19 years, I think I’ve only voted for one Republican. As much as I’d like to call myself an Independent, because I do think independently, I think my voting record definitely qualifies me as a Democrat. But I don’t agree with all the positions of the Democratic party, even some that are basic to other people. I think my positions are consistent and logical, but don’t we all?

my skin colorWHITE: When I was an RA in college, one of the students in my dorm, whose father had been a sharecropper, called me the most “white bread” person she’d ever known. Yes, I am White. The parts of me that don’t see the light of day could blind you with their brightness, and I am shocked at how closely I align with the website “Stuff White People Like.” Yesterday I dragged the kids to Whole Foods to get more Mandarin Pumpkin Marmalade for my morning crêpe, and they said that was incredibly White of me. Given that for the over 400 years that I can trace back my family tree all my ancestors hail from Northern Europeans, this label sticks. But please don’t think that because I’m one race, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love people of all races. I married a Latino man, who has ancestors over the past 150 years that were Native American, Persian, Italian, and Spanish. I don’t care what race the person my children go out with or marry someday is; I care about what’s in that person’s heart, and in their character. And if you really want to get technical, I’m not exactly white. I’m more like the square on the right, which is hex #FFF3ED.

JERSEY GIRL: Yes, I was born in New Jersey. But I chose to leave. See the next label.

CALIFORNIAN: I LOVE California. I love the weather, the diversity of people and their cultures, and the geography. But most of all, I love the energy and enthusiasm of my adopted state, and the freedom and encouragement to venture forth and buck tradition to try new things. But I don’t have blinders on; I know California isn’t perfect. Our public education system is sinking fast at all levels, and we’re far from resolving important issues like immigration, prison overcrowding, and health care. We’ve also taken a big hit economically over the past few years. So while I’m proud and blessed to be a Californian, like my state, I’m complicated and not easily labeled. Ditto for being AMERICAN. I was so lucky to be born here, and am so proud to be a citizen of a country that values freedom so highly. But it doesn’t mean I agree with everything our nation does. Thankfully I have the freedom to be able to say that!

MIDDLE-AGED: I’m 47. Born in 1963, high school class of 1981, college class of 1985. I don’t hide it. Even so, I don’t feel any older than I did 20 years ago. Sure, only my hairdresser knows the true color of my lovely locks, and you won’t see me in a bikini anymore. But I feel like I have just as much energy and zest as I ever have. I embrace the information revolution, and have loved keeping up with all the new tools that allow me to stay efficient and productive in my life and in my career. My age actually benefits me in that I’ve experienced so much more of life that I feel smarter and wiser than ever. So call me middle-aged, but make sure it’s a compliment, not a hindrance. (Oh, how I hope this is all true in 20 years!)

CHRISTIAN: I am Christian. I believe that God sent Jesus to us because he loves us, and that we should follow his teachings and LOVE one another. And that’s the rub: I think that many Christians these days, who spend the bulk of their time bashing people they don’t agree with, shed a bad light on Christianity. I think God loves everyone, no matter what their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. and that we should too. So I hope that when you label me as a Christian, you think love, not hate.

GEEK: Yes, I have an MS in engineering, and can easily stay up all night refining the code on a website to make sure that each pixel matches up. But “Geek” to some people implies a lack of social skills, and that’s definitely not a problem for me. (See the Facebook reference above.)

Maybe if you combine these labels you’ll get a better picture of who I am, as long as you bear in mind the ways I’ve stated I don’t adhere to their stereotypes. Once people know me, they know that instead of labels, they should use adjectives to describe me. I’d prefer hard-working, caring, flexible, social, eager, curious, and many others. Just be careful not to stereotype me. I’m a unique person, with lots to contribute, just like everyone else.

PS – Despite not wanting to be called a “Mommy Blogger,” I will probably write a few posts about my first child going off to college next month. I may not only be a Mom, but it is a big part of who I am, and we’re going through some big changes in our house.

New website launched: LCPC

Posted on 13. Jun, 2010 by kchristieh in religion, work

New website launched: LCPC

lcpc website la canada presbyterian churchAfter years of whining that my church needed a new website, I finally put my hours where my mouth is and redesigned the website for La Cañada Presbyterian Church.

I customized a premium Wordpress theme, WP-Genius by Solostream. The site has over 133 pages and dozens of posts, which are mostly for events. It also includes six different templates. I migrated years worth of past podcasts, presentations and videos from the old site to the new site. I integrated Google calendars for each ministry area, Formstack forms for event sign-ups and website editing requests, Flickr slideshows for photo albums, and Vimeo for embedding videos.

Besides creating an easy-to-navigate, informative, attractive site that complements the new church logo, my main goal in this project is to delegate the daily maintenance of the site to church staff and other volunteers. I spent countless hours creating a detailed Wordpress instruction page, and have held four training sessions thus far for people who will update the site. I don’t expect to completely extricate myself from the process, but I’d like to be called on only when necessary.

It’s a work-in-progress, but I think it’s pretty cool.

The Westboro Baptist Church forgets that God is love

Posted on 29. Jan, 2010 by kchristieh in religion

The Westboro Baptist Church forgets that God is love

westboro baptist church protester anti-gayHere’s a shout-out to the students, parents, staff and supporters of Gunn High School in Palo Alto, CA for protesting the demonstration by the members of the Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church. These insensitive, hateful people had the nerve to tell the Gunn community that the reason that five of their students had recently committed suicide was that they failed to obey God.

“You’ll be in front of the train next! God laughs at your calamity!” shouted Margie Phelps, wearing an American flag as a skirt.

The daughter of Westboro Church founder Fred Phelps, she said that the Gunn students died because they failed to obey God, and now live in hell.

This story literally made me cry. I can’t fathom the pain that Gunn has gone through, and am completely appalled that anyone would try to drive such a knife through that hurt. The fact that these people call themselves Christian is shameful and embarrassing, and I hope that people realize that the Westboro Baptist Church does NOT represent the viewpoint of mainstream Christianity.

When the church members (oh, it hurts to call them that!) sang ugly lyrics to “America the Beautiful,” students countered with “All You Need is Love.”

They get it. Just like the rest of us, Gunn students need love. The God I embrace is a God of love, not a God of hate.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (I John 4:8)

After the Gunn protest, the WBC folks (better label!) went to the Stanford campus to protest in front of the Jewish student center, Hillel. They wanted to tell Hillel students that they too were destined for Hell. I’m so proud of the Stanford response: over 1,000 people showed up in solidarity to let the WBC know that their hatred wasn’t welcome on campus. The band and the Tree were even there.

“I just wanted to come out and show them that being a Christian isn’t about hate, it’s about love,” said Monica Alcazar, a Stanford freshman and Gunn graduate.

I wish I could have been there.

Links:

White House | Black Market vs. Pakistan

Posted on 08. Aug, 2009 by kchristieh in inspirational people, international, religion

Sometimes I think my brain has a brick wall between its different sections. Sometimes that’s bad, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to fully process what’s going on.

For example, the other day I was waiting to see whether my daughter liked a shirt at White House | Black Market when my cellphone started its merry little ringtone. It was my friend Majid, who’s a pastor in Lahore, Pakistan. He told me about an awful massacre of Christians in Gojra, a village near Lahore. We had an imperfect connection, not only because he was in Pakistan but because I was in the heart of the Glendale Galleria, but even as I gave thumbs-up to my daughter’s clothing selection, I heard about how a mob of 1,000 burned nearly 150 homes, killing 11 people. It was surreal to hear of such horror even as I stood in such a safe and comfortable place.

Majid said that the people of his church are not only giving aid to survivors of the attack, but on August 11th they’re going to bravely protest the government’s mistreatment of religious minorities. August 11th had already been declared a national holiday commemorating the anniversary of Pakistan’s founder Muhammad Ali Jinnah’s 1947 speech calling for impartial government, religious freedom, rule of law, and equality for all, so it’s fitting that this would be a day to protest for these things.

These people are very brave to protest, and deserve all the prayers and support that people can give them. I hope it makes a difference.

Links:

Here’s part of a message I received from Majid today. He said it was ok to publish it here, since he wants to get the word out about this tragedy.

The Gojra Tragedy is another shameful incidence of religious intolerance and violence against minorities in Pakistan. This is not the first time that the fanatics/ extremist amongst the majority community have committed serious acts of aggression and murder against the minority groups for no fault of theirs.

The brutal attack on Christians in a village called Korian near Gojra town on 31st July 2009 where more than 50 houses were burnt and the people were terrorized on the pretext of desecrating the Holy Quran which in fact never took place.

After two days the Christians living in Gojra town were attacked and seven members of a family were burnt alive, two shot dead and their houses were burnt completely.

An emergent meeting of all Church leaders and primary members of the community was called on 3rd August 2009 at NCCP Ecumenical Center and unanimously condemned the incident of Korian and Gojra.

It was further resolved that the NCCP along with the Catholic Bishop Conference and representatives of the community at large urge the Government and Parliament from the day that the Blasphemy Law was enacted, hundreds of Christians were subjected to prison and torture of no fault of theirs.

It was also resolved that the leaders of the community with the support of the community at large demand the government to repeal the 295 B & C and save the community from religious fanatics and terrorists. For decades these acts of extremism and intolerance have taken place in Shanti Nagar, Sangla Hill, Bahawalpur, Taxila, Murree, Bamian Wala, Kasur and now Gojra and many other places.

It was decided that a protest and prayer meeting be held of all the churches on 11th August, 2009 at Naulakha Church, Lahore in remembrance of the martyrs of Gojra as an expression of solidarity with the Gojra victims.

Is it against your religion to donate your organs?

Posted on 29. Jan, 2009 by kchristieh in health, inspirational people

NO! According to organdonor.gov, all organized religions not only allow, but ENCOURAGE organ donation!

I learned this because Tina, one of our local Girl Scouts, has mounted a campaign to sign up people to be organ donors for her Gold Award project. I think that’s a great idea. Here’s a quote from the email I just received from Tina:

A common misconception is that people who are brain dead can come back to life. This, in fact, has never happened before – brain death only lasts for up to 48 hours before a person is actually dead. Most people get this mixed up with comas. A coma is when a person has lost consciousness for an extended period of time, and a few people have actually awoken from them. However, brain death is when all blood flow is cut to the brain, an irreversible action. No one in a coma will ever be asked to give up their organs.

Also, this has nothing to do with scientific research. Your body will not be dissected or taken apart – all useful organs will be removed from the inside, but your outside will look exactly the same.

So, if you’re not already signed up to be an organ donor, visit Tina’s site at http://recyclemeplease.info/ and learn how to donate. It’s shocking how few people sign up to donate, but it’s amazing how many lives it could save.

If you or a loved one were in need of an organ, wouldn’t you wish more people were registered?

Would you ever or never believe a faith healer?

Posted on 18. Jan, 2009 by kchristieh in disabilities, health, inspirational people, local news, my life, religion

This evening, three very dear, level-headed, grounded friends of mine arranged for a Catholic faith healer named Paul Miller to perform a service at our local community center. They had heard him before, and were so moved and so convinced that he’d change lives here that they flew him out from New Jersey to speak. They sent emails to friends they thought might be interested, and via word-of-mouth about 100 people attended.

When I received the email, I was pretty skeptical. I figured that I’d rather do just about anything than attend such a service, but I was curious about why these women whom I trusted would be so sure that this was true. Then I spoke to one of them in person the other day, and she told me about the first time she heard Paul speak. She said that when Paul laid hands upon her, she felt a “whoosh” pass through her body. That reminded me of what I sensed when my dog died. (I mean that only in a good way.) So, my curiosity was piqued enough to convince this Presbyterian gal gave up a Saturday night to hear a Franciscan faith healer.

I was impressed by Paul. He’s a very humble, sincere man. He spent about two hours telling his story, and it was clear that this was something he felt called to do, not something he had sought to do. As he related how he came to this healing ministry, he made it clear that he was just as skeptical at first as any of us listening. (Note: He NEVER asked for money, and there were no collection baskets or ways to even give money.)

After a short break, he laid hands upon people. This was way outside my comfort zone. Did you know that Presbyterians are sometimes called “the frozen chosen”? That perfectly describes me. I am not prone to emotional outbursts, speaking in tongues, waving hands, or dancing in the aisles at church. In fact, I don’t even like to clap to songs. These things embarrass me. Laying on of hands conjured up images of the old-time revival meetings run by charlatans that I’d seen in movies and tv shows. So, I was seriously hesitant about this whole thing. Even so, I was moved by what Paul had said, and didn’t want to be such a doubter that I’d never be open to a new way for God to communicate with me.

As I mentioned yesterday, I live in a town that’s small enough that I recognize lots of people. That was definitely true this evening. I probably knew half the people there, and nearly every person I knew went up front. I was amazed to see people that I think had just as many doubts as I did stiffen and fall after Paul prayed over them. When they got up, many of them were grinning ear to ear. I definitely felt something special in that room, and as a Christian I’d label it as the Holy Spirit.

It’ll be interesting to hear over the next few days, weeks and months about any healing that took place. Paul emphasized that he was there for both spiritual and physical healing, and that his true goal was to bring people closer to God.

That sounds good to me.

PS – I did go up front. It was very moving. No, I didn’t fall. (Since I know you’re curious!) But there are some things that are personal enough that I’d rather not blog about them. Thanks for understanding.

Pray for Obama and write that check to the Southern Poverty Law Center

Posted on 27. Oct, 2008 by kchristieh in politics, religion

The current breaking news is that authorities have foiled a white supremacist plot to kill Barack Obama and African-American schoolchildren and adults.

I cried when I heard this. It’s times like this when I’m completely ashamed of some of my fellow Americans. I’ll keep praying that no plot like this ever comes to pass.

I also just signed up to be an automatic monthly donor to the Southern Poverty Law Center. They do great work building cases against people who perpetuate hate crimes, and have developed incredible classroom resources as part of their Teaching Tolerance project, which helps teach kids to appreciate people different from themselves.

Are there Scientologists in Iran?

Posted on 27. Apr, 2008 by kchristieh in international, movies, religion, sports

Just kidding. Bad idea.

offside movie soccer girls iran world cupBut I couldn’t resist the analogy after watching the following two shows back-to-back on my Tivo last night:

  • An with Jenna Miscavige, daughter of Scientology leader David Miscavige. Jenna spoke about what it was like to grow up in the Church of Scientology, and what drove her to leave.
  • The movie Offside, about Iranian girls who dressed like boys to try to see a 2006 soccer match between Iran and Bahrain which will determine which team goes to the World Cup finals.

I felt like we had a Repression Film Night. The Nightline interview reiterated for us how wacky Scientology is, and how it has serious issues with anyone who disagrees with it. (I guess this blog post means I won’t be invited to Tom & Katie’s any time soon!) As for Offside, it offered a view of Iran that we seldom get in the West. The girls tried to use logic to convince the soldiers to let them see the game, but the soldiers weren’t driven by logic. They lived in fear of their Captain, and didn’t want to mess up their own chance to finally get out of the military. So the repression continues.

Ironically, as repressive as Iran is, Offside made it clear that Iranians are quite proud of their country. In fact, my husband pointed out that it’d be folly for us to ever think we’d have a chance of winning a war against such a patriotic country. I agree.

So once again, last night I was once again reminded how fortunate I am to live in a country that values freedom, and to practice a religion based on love, not repression.

Additional links:

Do you promise to pray for someone but then forget?

Posted on 01. Oct, 2007 by kchristieh in religion, technical

I admit I’m guilty of this. Sometimes I’ll tell someone I’ll keep them in my prayers, but then only remember when I see them. But I think I’ve found a solution…

If you sit at your computer a lot and believe in prayer, then you should check out the . Click on Add It Now, and then return to your iGoogle homepage. You’ll see a new box where you can add the names of anything or anyone you wish to pray for. Here’s what it looks like with one item. (Note: I made a separate list for this blog posting, as I didn’t want to compromise anyone’s privacy.)

prayer widget igoogle google

This could be used by anyone who prays, whether you’re Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist or any other religion.

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone cared enough to pray for everyone else, instead of hating them?

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What happens when organized religion diminishes faith

Posted on 26. Jul, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, religion

I’ve read two thought-provoking articles in the last week by Christians decrying the effect that the shenanigans of church officials, church members, and leadership bodies have had on their faith.

In last Saturday’s LA Times article , William Lobdell lays his soul on the line and talks about how, as a Catholic, he was eager to write articles about religion so that he could provide a counterpoint to what he thought was an anti-religion media bias. Unfortunately, the closer he got to his subject, the more he started questioning his own faith. Although he covered positive stories, he also covered negative stories, including the Catholic priest scandals. His own priest warned him to not be discouraged by a “relatively few bad clerics.”

But then I began going over the documents. And interviewing the victims, scores of them. I discovered that the term “sexual abuse” is a euphemism. Most of these children were raped and sodomized by someone they and their family believed was Christ’s representative on Earth. That’s not something an 8-year-old’s mind can process; it forever warps a person’s sexuality and spirituality.

Many of these victims were molested by priests with a history of abusing children. But the bishops routinely sent these clerics to another parish, and bullied or conned the victims and their families into silence. The police were almost never called. In at least a few instances, bishops encouraged molesting priests to flee the country to escape prosecution.

I couldn’t get the victims’ stories or the bishops’ lies — many of them right there on their own stationery — out of my head. I had been in journalism more than two decades and had dealt with murders, rapes, other violent crimes and tragedies. But this was different — the children were so innocent, their parents so faithful, the priests so sick and bishops so corrupt.

The lifeline Father Vincent had tried to give me began to slip from my hands.

It wasn’t just the Catholic church. He was discouraged to hear about Mormon communities that treated former church members as outcasts, and of some of our nation’s most powerful pastors who benefitted from the Trinity Broadcasting Network’s prosperity gospel which encouraged people to give money which wound up materially benefitting TBN.

Eventually he asked to be removed from the religion beat.

My soul, for lack of a better term, had lost faith long ago — probably around the time I stopped going to church. My brain, which had been in denial, had finally caught up.

Clearly, I saw now that belief in God, no matter how grounded, requires at some point a leap of faith. Either you have the gift of faith or you don’t. It’s not a choice. It can’t be willed into existence. And there’s no faking it if you’re honest about the state of your soul.

He’s right: belief of God does require a leap of faith. I tried “proving” God exists when I was in high school and college, and took philosophy and religion classes to help me in my search. I ultimately decided I couldn’t prove that God exists, but I couldn’t prove He doesn’t exist either. And all along, I believed in God. Perhaps it is a gift? It is, I guess, as it gives me more purpose and hope.

The other article I read was in Christianity Today, Sorrow But No Regrets: My life in the troubled, redemptive church. Christine Scheller talks about the path her faith has taken after seeing scandals and abnormalities in so many of the churches she’s attended.

I can look at this journey and see a trail of folly. Or I can look back with tenderness and see churches and pastors that taught me all I know about loving Jesus and being loved by him. I choose tenderness because Jesus Christ exists on earth within his sin-damaged band of followers. This is the realization that breaks us—there is no better church.

In the end, she still has her faith. I admire William Lobdell for his raw honesty, and hope that in the end, he finds his faith again too.

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Saddleback Sunday

Posted on 28. May, 2007 by kchristieh in my life, religion

As a member of a moderate, mid-size Presbyterian church, I’ve always wondered what a “mega church” would be like. So when we had time before yesterday’s baseball tournament game, I took my son to visit Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA. For those of you not familiar with the church, it’s the home to Pastor Rick Warren, author of “” and other bestselling books.

It’s only fitting that Saddleback Church is in Orange County, for in many ways the campus feels like Disneyland. There are parking attendants and parking lanes, and there were so many greeters that at least six people smiled and said hello even before we entered the sanctuary. The campus is huge, and includes a stream, a waterfall, a cafe, and many buildings and permanent “tents” to house worship services ranging from Island Style to Rock ‘n Roll to Spanish and more. My son was particularly impressed by the youth center they’re building, which has a beach volleyball court and a technology center, and looks like it would fit right in at Downtown Disney. I was impressed by how the church makes an effort to help people join small groups or attend a more focussed worship service, thereby making the huge size of the church seem more manageable. (Note: According to the Hartford Institute for Religion Research, Saddleback has the second highest weekly attendance of any church in America: 22,000.)

As we approached the church yesterday morning, I thought to myself, “How do so many people in Orange County have so much money for such nice homes and cars?” So it was only fitting that yesterday’s sermon was titled, “Setting Financial Goals.” The service started out with an amazing young musician (Matt Papa) and his band playing a few rock numbers. Then Pastor Rick (as they call him) started preaching. Wow. He kept the topic very current, so it kept my rapt attention, but at the same time he referenced more Bible verses than I’ve ever heard referenced in a single sermon. The band played another song, then a woman named Mary Hunt told about her struggles with and triumph over deficit spending, then the sermon continued. There was no liturgy, no children’s sermon, no baptisms, etc. The service lasted over 1.5 hours, and I wasn’t bored for a moment. The slides showing each verse and the printed sermon summary in the bulletin, as well as the live video feed (!!) shown on big screens up front helped too.

Although I hadn’t thought the topic would particularly touch me, I was very challenged by it. I was impressed by Rick’s genuine sincerity, especially since he and his wife give away 90% of what they earn. (He calls it reverse tithing. He and his wife started tithing when they were married, and upped it by at least 1% each year.) Unlike preachers such as Joel Osteen, who spread a gospel of prosperity, he wasn’t promising that people would get more earthly riches by giving more to the church. Instead, he spoke about how God has entrusted us to manage our blessings, and that we should live below our means and give to God’s causes and to the poor. He said we’d reap heavenly rewards, which are far more important than earthly ones. (Oh my! I feel guilty about that couch we’re getting for our 20th anniversary now!!) I’ve never attended a church which made such a good argument for tithing. That’s a tough message when you’re already tied in to a hefty mortgage, but it really made me think.

Not every church can have such amazing resources, and not everyone would feel comfortable in a worship service with thousands of people. Even so, there were some programs and practices which smaller churches could adapt that could be quite successful. At any rate, the more we learn about other successful organizations, the more we can improve our own. That applies to churches, too!

If you can take pictures at European churches, why not take them at American ones?

saddleback church pictures photos campus

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10 Paradoxical Commandments

Posted on 21. Mar, 2007 by kchristieh in life lessons, religion

Here’s a modern take on the 10 Commandments:

  1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
    Love them anyway.
  2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
    Do good anyway.
  3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
    Succeed anyway.
  4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
    Do good anyway.
  5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
    Be honest and frank anyway.
  6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
    Think big anyway.
  7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
    Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
  8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
    Build anyway.
  9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
    Help people anyway.
  10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
    Give the world the best you have anyway.

I think they all boil down to two commandments:

  1. Love your neighbor.
  2. Do your best.

Not so hard to remember, but much tougher to follow.

Source: http://www.paradoxicalcommandments.com/

An antsy situation

Posted on 18. Mar, 2007 by kchristieh in environment, international, my life, religion

When I was a teenager, one of my mother’s more devout friends was determined never to kill a living creature, not even a bug. I’ve thought about him over the years as we battled ants in our house, and decided that he must not have faced a full-on ant invasion

A group of Buddhist monks in Malaysia is facing this tough issue. Their temple has been invaded by so many ants that one worshipper was bitten so badly he wound up in the hospital. The monks, who are bound by a tradition of non-violence, are struggling with how to get rid of the ants without killing them. According to Yahoo News,

A temple disciple tried using a vacuum cleaner to gather up the ants before freeing them in a nearby forest, but the method failed to purge the insects, Lin said.

“We haven’t found a solution so far,” Lin said. “Nothing has worked.”

We kept our ants at bay with poisonous spray, but we finally got rid of the colony when we tore down our old garage. That was about two years ago, and we’ve only had a few random ants since.

It’s much harder to adhere to one’s beliefs when one is tested. I’m glad my religion doesn’t stop me from killing ants. Or spiders. I killed a black widow spider in the bathroom this evening…

Quit your whining!

Posted on 28. Jan, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, life lessons, religion, things that bug me

complaint free braceletYou probably know an adult that whines. Nothing’s ever right for them: it’s either too hot or too cold, too big or too small, etc. etc. I don’t like to hang out with people like that: it’s too draining.

The Los Angeles Times had a great story the other day, “Quit your whining, if you can“, where a reporter wore a bracelet that she had to switch to her other wrist each time she whined. “Whining” was defined as complaining, not as a statement of fact. In other words, “It’s soooo hot outside!” would be whining, whereas “It’s a hot day.” wouldn’t.

The bracelet idea is the brainchild of Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Mo. He was sick of his congregants complaining about the worship music, and asked them to stop complaining for three weeks. He tried to stop complaining himself, and it proved harder than he thought it would.

Before taking the challenge, Bowen had always considered himself sunny: “My job is to see God, and good, in everything.”

He soon realized he wasn’t as imperturbable as he’d thought, especially when his beloved Kansas City Royals were blowing yet another baseball game. Some Sundays, he’d take the pulpit and confess: “I moved that bracelet 20 times this week. I wanted to take it off and throw it in a drawer.”

It took Bowen three months before he made it through 21 days without complaining. “And it helped,” he said, “that I was on a silent retreat for three of those days.”

Bowen’s actually offering the bracelets to people for free.

He has spent $10,000 in church funds (not that the board would think of complaining) to give away about 70,000 purple bracelets, taking requests through his website, http://www.TheComplaintFreeChurch.org . Soldiers in Iraq have put in orders. So have pastors, teachers, drug counselors, Boy Scout leaders. (Perhaps not grasping the concept, one minister returned his batch — with a complaint about the quality.) An elderly woman in Florida requested one, explaining that most of her friends had passed away but that she was determined not to be bitter in her loneliness.

I often tell my kids that life is so much better when you surround yourself with positive people. The theological tie-in would be that positive people appreciate the blessings they have, rather than dwell on what they don’t have.Â

I wish I could give bracelets to some of the people I used to work with! Or, give some to others I know now. Anonymously, of course. Not that I’m complaining about them!!