Top 10 Lessons Learned from nearly 14 years as a Soccer Mom

Posted on 22. Feb, 2010 by kchristieh in life lessons, parenting, sports

When I registered my preschoolers for soccer in the Fall of 1996, I never imagined that I’d be a soccer mom until 2010. My soccer-viewing days ended last Friday when my daughter’s high school team lost in the first round of CIF playoffs. Our soccer experience was sometimes rewarding, and sometimes frustrating, but always an adventure.

Along the way, I learned or confirmed the following lessons:

1. Don’t become the frog in boiling water. If someone had told us how much club soccer would impact our family, we may not have chosen to do it. Instead, the warm water just got hotter and hotter.
2. Find your niche. I had no interest in being a referee, but I loved making AYSO team banners.
3. Even though it’s hard to make a banner of a hyena, whatever you design will be ok since no one’s sure what a hyena looks like. Use lots of fur. Best mascot ever.
4. Don’t question the refs. They’re trying hard, and they’re no more perfect than anyone else. Complaining won’t change the call, and it’ll just make things stressful.
5. Expect little, so you won’t be disappointed.
6. Get a chair with a built-in umbrella.
7. Kids don’t need snacks at the end of the game. But they like them as long as they’re not healthy.
8. Always carry a blanket, extra water and a first-aid kit in the car.
9. Bad coaches don’t get better.
10. Sports aren’t as enjoyable when winning becomes more important than having a good time.

My daughter says that she learned:

1. You should always work really hard, but
2. Hard work won’t always pay off, but
3. It’s worth it when you love the sport.
4. How to get along with all sorts of people.
5. How to deal with all sorts of coaches, which has helped her to adapt to different teachers, and some day, bosses.
6. How to be a team player.

Those are good lessons.

Would I do it over again? Only if the kids wanted to. They probably would.

How does Tim Tebow offend and Danica Patrick doesn’t?

Posted on 07. Feb, 2010 by kchristieh in advertising, religion, things that bug me

For weeks, I’ve been hearing about how offensive was going to be. A coalition of women’s groups called on CBS not to run the ad.

When I finally saw the commercial, I was indeed stunned: I couldn’t believe the brouhaha was over this.

Here’s the script. What’s offensive about it?

Tim Tebow’s mother: “I call him my miracle baby. He almost didn’t make it into this world. I can remember so many times when I almost lost him. It was so hard. Well, he’s all grown up now, and I STILL worry about his health. You know, with all our family’s been through, we have to be tough!”
[Tim Tebow comes out of the side of the screen and tackles her.]
Mom: “Timmy! We’re trying to tell our story here.”
Tim: “Sorry about that, Mom! Do you still worry about me, Mom?”
Mom: “Well yeah! You’re not nearly as tough as I am!”
For the full Tebow story, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Frankly, I could have filmed that commercial. My son was in neonatal for eight days after he was born, and I didn’t get to hold him until he was five days old. I still worry about him, especially when he plays football, and with good reason. He used to tackle me when he was two years old, and I’m glad he doesn’t anymore.

Where’s the feminist outrage over the GoDaddy commercial where Danica Patrick gets a massage from a woman who rips off her shirt to declare that she’d be a great GoDaddy girl (and if you see the internet version, dances like a skank)? Is this what “equal rights” means? Or how about the , where Kim Kardashian seduces a salad and winds up eating it in a bathtub? And speaking of bathtubs, how about the Motorola commercial where the woman takes a picture of herself and sends it over the internet, including to a young boy behind a closed door? So much for all the anti-sexting lectures we give our kids!

My husband and I have long disagreed about abortion: he’s pro-choice, and I’m pro-life. But even he’s stunned by the negative reaction to this ad. It’s sad when something this benign is slammed, even as people close their eyes to other offensive material playing all around them.

A few more notes:

Check out the Focus on the Family link. Tim Tebow’s parents talk about how they were advised to get an abortion because of medical problems. They chose not to, because they had faith that God had a plan for their baby. Later in the interview, when asked what she’d tell a young woman who’s pregnant and thinking of aborting her baby, Tim’s mother says,

“I would say that baby’s not a mistake, even though it might seem that way to her, and that God will enable her to do the right thing, and to give her the encouragement she needs, that there’s also help for her, and there’s help that she doesn’t even know about yet. There’s so many people, so many pregnancy crisis centers across the country just waiting to encourage someone in her position. And girls have those options. They have a choice.”

Isn’t it ironic that pro-choice people are complaining that someone is reminding people that they have a choice?

By the way, I’ve been switching accounts away from GoDaddy ever since I saw one of their offensive commercials a few years ago. These days, I choose Bluehost.com instead. They’ve got great customer service, and are good for not only regular websites but for Wordpress installations.

New YMCA website launches

Posted on 29. Jun, 2009 by kchristieh in work

Every few years a website needs refreshing. Design trends change, technology advances, and businesses and organizations evolve. The YMCA of the Foothills (formerly known as the Crescenta-Canada YMCA) website was long overdue for an overhaul when they hired me and some of my fellow freelancers for help. The colors were old, the design was very plain, and the site was difficult to navigate. Most of all, it didn’t make you want to get involved in the great activities and opportunities the YMCA provides. You can see a screenshot of the old site to the right.

Before we got started, graphic designer extraordinaire Debra Doty redesigned the YMCA of the Foothills logo to correspond to their name change. I then designed the site, Tom Reynolds managed the project and client interaction, and Eric Lim did the coding, which was particularly hairy since it has a complicated database behind it.

You can see the result below. I think it looks great, and am sure that this will raise the YMCA’s profile so that they can move forward and have an even greater impact in our community.

People arrested for stealing $40K in athletic equipment from LCHS

Posted on 28. Mar, 2009 by kchristieh in local news, sports

From today’s Pasadena Star News:

Man, woman suspected in school burglaries

From staff reports

Posted: 03/27/2009 06:50:12 PM PDT

LA CANADA FLINTRIDGE – A man and woman were arrested Friday on suspicion of stealing about $40,000 worth of athletic equipment from two local schools in recent weeks, authorities said.

Martha McRae, 44, and Mark Wallace, 40, both of La Canada Flintridge, are suspected of breaking into La Canada High School and Flintridge Preparatory School, Los Angeles County sheriff’s Sgt. Gary Ogurek said.

The burglaries occurred over several days about three weeks ago, officials said.

Detectives investigating the burglaries served a search warrant about 8 a.m. at a home in the 2100 block of La Canada Crest Drive, Los Angeles County sheriff’s Sgt. Gary Ogurek said.

Inside, property allegedly taken in the burglaries was found, as well as information which led officials to a second location in Montrose, where more allegedly stolen property was found, the sergeant said.

The majority of the property taken from the school’s was recovered, he added.

McRae and Wallace were booked on suspicion of burglary, receiving stolen property and possession of methamphetamine for sales, Ogurek said.

According to court records, both suspects are being held in lieu of $20,000 bail and are due for arraignment in Pasadena Superior Court Wednesday.

My basketball wasn’t Magic after all

Posted on 03. Mar, 2009 by kchristieh in my life, non-profits, sports

Back in 1990, one of my co-workers in the Robinson’s finance department had a boyfriend who worked in the Lakers’ marketing department. I took her up on an offer to have a basketball signed by Magic Johnson, and for years I’ve kept this autographed basketball safely tucked away in my closet.

I’m the only person in our family who’s ever played on a basketball team, but my career ended after 8th grade when everyone else grew and I didn’t. I’ve never encouraged my kids to take up the sport, and when we installed a basketball hoop on our garage they both swore they’d never use it. So when I heard that the LCF Educational Foundation was still soliciting items for the Gala silent auction this weekend, I decided to donate the Magic Johnson basketball. I gave it with the caveat that I had no certificate of authenticity to guarantee that Magic had signed it, and hadn’t seen him do it.

Thank goodness for that! It turns out the signature on our ball looks nothing like every other autograph found on Google. Here’s a typical signature:

The Foundation returned the ball to us. Oh well! The first name looks the same, but the last name is way off. I still think it could be real, since I know my signature has deteriorated since I’ve signed so many more things. The “Johnson” on my ball is missing the “s”…but I think that if someone were trying to fake the name they wouldn’t mess that up.

So much for that! Maybe ours is super-valuable since it’s a vintage signature. Or maybe I should just pump it up and play with it.  :)

Grasping the concept of wrestling

Posted on 09. Jan, 2009 by kchristieh in parenting, sports, things that bug me

I’ve been a Baseball Mom, a Softball Mom, a Swimming Mom, a Cross-Country Mom, a Track Mom, a Lacrosse Mom, a Football Mom and of course, a Soccer Mom. But the sport that I find it toughest to be a Mom for is Wrestling.

My son wrestled his first varsity home meet today. He pinned the guy in the first round – yay! He was happy, he didn’t get too tired, and no one got hurt. And, since I understand pinning, I even vaguely figured out what was going on.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand the motivation behind wrestling. I’ve never been a physically aggressive person, and I’m very risk-averse. The thought of letting someone twist my body around to pin me to a mat is abhorrent to me. As a result, watching someone do it to someone I love is pretty difficult, too, especially when I’ve already nursed that person through three broken arms when he was younger.

But he likes the sport, so I’ll grit my teeth and support him. I’m trying to learn the rules so that I can concentrate on the mechanics of each match, not on the danger. Here’s the best summary of the rules I could find.

I wasn’t surprised to find a wrestling forum for mothers on a Navy site. After all, an Army recruiter recently showed up at one of our school’s wrestling practices. Maybe the military has found that wrestlers are more likely to enlist.
Wrestling teaches great lessons in responsibility, practice, and teamwork. I’ll just keep rooting for no one to get hurt and for everyone to learn from the experience.

Vivian Stringer is my new heroine

Posted on 15. Dec, 2008 by kchristieh in books, feminism, inspirational people, sports

When Vivian Stringer recruits players for the Rutgers women’s basketball team, she doesn’t just promise them that they’ll play on a wonderful team. She looks the parents in the eye and promises them that if their daughter plays for her, she’ll treat her like a daughter, and do everything she can to make sure she graduates and is prepared for life. She means it, too: she’s still in touch with most of the young women she coached.

She’s the real deal. She comes from modest roots, as the daughter of an African-American coal miner, but was raised with self-confidence and an incredible work ethic. She also has a huge heart, and genuinely cares for everyone she knows. She’s overcome incredible adversity: the death of both her father and her husband at young ages, caring for a daughter who suffered severe brain damage from spinal meningitis, surviving breast cancer, and more, but she soldiers on and makes the most out of life.
I haven’t played on a basketball team since 8th grade, and I didn’t play any school sports in high school. Even so, I was completely entranced by her autobiography, . By the time I got to the end of the book, where she recounts how she chose to respond to Don Imus’s “nappy-headed hos” comment, I wasn’t at all surprised that she handled it with the utmost of grace and courage.

She inspires me, and I think she’d do the same for you. If my recommendation isn’t enough, 24 out of 25 reviewers on gave this book 5 stars, and the other gave it 4 stars. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such positive feedback for a book on Amazon! This would make a perfect gift for a coach, teacher, or athlete.

Feeding the masses at the Rose Bowl lacrosse tournament

Posted on 09. Mar, 2008 by kchristieh in my life, sports

Have you ever been so grateful to someone for what they do that you’ll do just about anything for them? That’s how I wound up organizing the food booth at yesterday’s Rose Bowl lacrosse tournament. My daughter’s lacrosse coach has put so much time and enthusiasm into the team that I couldn’t imagine letting her down.

At first I assumed I was ill-equipped for the job. But then I realized that running the elementary back-to-school picnic, operating a beach hot dog stand one summer, working at a restaurant in high school and overseeing various fund raising events had actually prepared me pretty well. The key was to delegate tasks, and I was fortunate to have a team of competent and energetic parents willing to take on the various positions I assigned.

We were told to expect to feed 1,000 people, so we purchased tons (literally?) of food and drinks. I’m not sure how many we fed, but we worked non-stop from 7:30 am – 5 pm. It was good that we ordered so many smoothies from Juice-It-Up and bought so many Diet Cokes to sell, but if we do it again we’ll order less pizzas. And we’ll definitely remember to bring the scissors and the Sharpie again!

The best parts were finally getting to see a lacrosse game in person and getting to know the other team parents better. I was exhausted at the end of the day, but it was worth it. Now to gather our receipts and see how much money we made. This is our team’s first year, so we need equipment and supplies to get us going.

Lacrosse is currently a fun, less intense alternative to many of the other high school sports. It’ll be sad when it goes the way of soccer, volleyball and baseball and gets too competitive. It’s nice to have a team that accepts beginners and is willing to teach them the sport.

How am I so sure this will happen? When I opened my Target toy circular yesterday, here’s what I saw on page 5. It’s just a matter of time…

Teenage boys shower before Mom drives them to their girlfriend’s house?

Posted on 26. Feb, 2008 by kchristieh in health, parenting, sports

As usual, rumors of the moral delinquency of our youth are greatly exaggerated.

Surveys show that 80% of teenage boys pursue a girl because they like her. Only 14% put sex at the top of the list. In “Peeking Inside the Mind of the Boy Dating Your Daughter” in this Sunday’s NY Times, we discover that,

Physical attraction and wanting to get to know someone better were tied as the second-most-popular answers. Boys who were sexually active were as likely to say they pursued sex out of love as they were to say they simply wanted to know what sex feels like or to satisfy a physical desire. Wanting to lose their virginity barely registered, with just 14 percent of boys checking that answer.

Researchers said the findings show that teenage boys really are motivated by love and a desire for meaningful relationships.

One can only hope!

Did you realize that only 29.8% of 16-year-olds have their driver’s license? That’s down from 43.8% in 1998. The NY Times story “Fewer Youths Jump Behind the Wheel at 16” says that,

Reasons vary, including tighter state laws governing when teenagers can drive, higher insurance costs and a shift from school-run driver education to expensive private driving academies.

To that mix, experts also add parents who are willing to chauffeur their children to activities, and pastimes like surfing the Web that keep them indoors and glued to computers.

I generally love chauffeuring my kids around. That’s when I find out what’s going on in their lives. I got my license at 17, and think that 16 is too young anyway. I LOVE the photo the Times put with the story (see right). If the girl had dark hair, that picture could be me driving and my daughter in the passenger seat, texting.

And finally, boys should be showering more these days. Wrestling parents in particular should read the Fresno Bee story “Wrestlers grappling with infections: Skin diseases plague school competitors.” Wrestlers are at higher risk of contracting skin infections, including a drug-resistant form of staph called CA-MRSA.

The California Interscholastic Federation, which regulates high school sports, is planning a conference Monday in Sacramento with state health officials to address the issue. But the anecdotal evidence is everywhere: 10 Firebaugh High wrestlers came down with various skin infections last year.

Three wrestlers at Gustine High were treated for staph infections and a form of herpes in January. McLane High forfeited a league match against Sunnyside in January because five wrestlers had contagious skin infections. Last year, two Clovis High wrestlers missed more than a week after contracting herpes, possibly at a tournament in Utah.

In the San Diego County community of Encinitas, 13-year-old Brian Carbaugh died in January from a drug-resistant staph infection after possibly contracting it in a wrestling class. High school wrestling in Minnesota was suspended last year after 24 cases of herpes were reported on 10 teams.

A big part of the problem, health officials say, is that many athletes don’t shower, clean their gear or practice good hygiene.

My son’s good about showering when he gets home from practice or meets, but that’s no guarantee. Scary stuff, especially if you’re allergic to penicillin like I am. The picture to the right accompanied the article. If that’s not enough to scare your son to shower, I don’t know what is.

Parents gone wild at sporting events

Posted on 28. Dec, 2007 by kchristieh in parenting, sports

I’ve heard some pretty inappropriate things said at kids’ sporting events, but thankfully I’ve never seen anything quite like what’s on the Positive Coaching Alliance’s “Bottom 10 Moments in Sports List” for 2007. Or maybe I have, but I’ve blocked them from my memory. Here’s the list:

PCA’s Bottom 10 List

• 10. Michael Vick, a marquee NFL star whose jersey is worn by thousands of children, pleads guilty to his role in a dogfighting operation that resulted in cruelty and death to many dogs.
• 9. Six hockey players and two coaches are suspended following a brawl between two teams of eight-year-olds in Guelph, Ont.
• 8. A Chicago-area man is caught on tape hurling his son’s wrestling opponent off the mat.
• 7. An Allentown, PA-area middle school lacrosse coach is dismissed after pleading guilty to hitting a 13-year-old opponent in the face in the post-game handshake line.
• 6. NBA referee Tim Donaghy pleads guilty to felony gambling charges and admits he gambled on games in which he officiated.
• 5. Two Long Island brothers, apparently enraged over the benching of their son and nephew for cursing, receive a cell-phone call from the disgruntled boy, arrive at his game and eventually are arrested for allegedly beating the team’s coach in front of the coach’s son and the other 11-year-olds on the team.
• 4. Lincoln, NE police issue a ticket to a woman for leaving her daughter alongside Interstate 80 because of her unsatisfactory performance in a soccer game.
• 3. Northern Colorado University punter Mitch Cozad is convicted of attempted murder for knifing the punter ahead of him on the depth chart in a bid for playing time.
• 2. An Orlando-area man pleads guilty to charges from 2004 that he supplied his then-14-year-old son with steroids and human growth hormones to improve his speedskating results.
• 1. Release of the Mitchell Report on use of performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball, implicating such heroes of youth athletes as Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada and Andy Pettitte.

I love the PCA’s motto: “Transforming Youth Sports so Sports Can Transform Youth.” Their goal is to make sports participation a positive, learning experience for kids, not the negative, stressful experience it often is. I heard a PCA speaker many years ago, and to this day I’ve just yelled “Go Team!” from the sidelines.

I’m looking forward to reading “” for our next PTA book club. I just wish I could make sure certain parents I know would show up.

Psst! Got a kid in club soccer? Then check out this marvelous list of “Myths About Competitive Soccer.” It really hits the mark!

Barry Bonds & the Chicago Bears: Growing Boys

Posted on 31. Jul, 2007 by kchristieh in health, inspirational people, movies, sports

Remember “Brian’s Song“? If you’re like me, the first few notes of the 1971 movie’s theme song are enough to make you cry as you remember Brian Piccolo’s spirit and courage, his deep friendship with Gayle Sayers, and the normal-weight Chicago Bears playing themselves.

Yes folks, those aren’t actors playing football players: the Chicago Bears played themselves. So when they get on the scale and the team doctor yells out their weights, “215″, “220″, etc., those are real weights. What a far cry from the current Chicago Bears! NFL.com says that the average weight of the current Chicago Bears player is 247 lbs., and the average defensive lineman weighs 319 lbs.

Of course, it’s only fitting that I’m reminded of this when Barry Bonds is here in L.A. to take on the Dodgers and possibly break Hank Aaron’s home run record. Did he take steroids? You decide. Check out this slide show that the Mercury News put together showing pictures of Barry between 1990 and 2004. The 1990 and 2004 pictures are also shown below.

Go Dodgers!!!

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Track star teen dies from using too much pain cream

Posted on 10. Jun, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, health, parenting, sports

Here’s a sad story/cautionary tale reported in the Staten Island Advance:

A 17-year-old Notre Dame Academy track star died in April from a rare toxic dose of sports cream, the city Medical Examiner said yesterday.

Toxicology tests revealed that blood contained lethal amounts of methyl salicylate, the active ingredient in common muscle rubs like BenGay and Icy Hot, said Ellen Borakove, a spokeswoman for the medical examiner’s officer. The petite teen accidentally used “topical medication to an excess,” causing poisons to accumulate in her body over an undetermined amount of time, Ms. Borakove said.

The overdose likely led to a seizure.

I made sure to show this to my cross-country runner daughter, and warned her against using pain creams too much. I wish we knew how much is too much, however.

Cross-country running scares me. I prefer Curves.

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Title IX violations

Posted on 29. Apr, 2007 by kchristieh in education, politics, sports, startling statistics, things that bug me

According to the April, 2007 issue of O Magazine, 80% of federally funded colleges and universities are believed to be in violation of Title IX. Of those, none have ever lost federal funding as a result of their violations. If you’re going to have a law, you should enforce it!

I’m a big supporter of Title IX. I think girls have benefitted tremendously from being able to participate in the same numbers that boys do. Here are some more statistics:

• In 1972 one in 27 high school girls played sports. Today one in 2.5 does.
• Currently 41 percent of high school athletes are girls, and there are approximately 755 more women’s college sports teams than men’s.

The last point is one of the most controversial results of Title IX. Some boys teams (e.g., football) are so large that they “use up” the boys athletic slots that other, smaller teams could use. So some schools have eliminated smaller, less popular sports.

I played Little League back in NJ in 1974, the first year girls were allowed to do so. My daughter and my son have played organized sports since they were preschoolers. But times have changed…my daughter’s coaching tee ball, and there’s not a single girl on the team. Hopefully she’ll be a role model for all the little sisters!

That’s not me in the picture: it’s Maria Pepe, who brought the lawsuit that led to girls being allowed to play Little League. However, my uniform was just like that, made of heavy wool. Our sponsor was Dairy Queen, but unfortunately it didn’t lead to free ice cream. Darn!

A soccer first, at least in my world

Posted on 01. Apr, 2007 by kchristieh in education, sports

In all my years of watching youth soccer, Friday was the first time I’ve ever seen a game end before halftime because a referee was threatened. My son’s jr. high soccer team was winning 1-0 when a player on the other team got a yellow card, then a red card. Then, my son’s team scored again, and a player on the other team said, “I’m going to f*** you up!” to the ref, so the ref called the game.

That was it. Our stunned boys came back to the sideline, had a quick huddle, and then went out on the field to slap hands with the other team. The other team came out and did the same, and everyone went home.

I hope I never see this sort of behavior again. I’m thankful our team doesn’t act this way.

Overheard at club soccer game today…

Posted on 17. Sep, 2006 by kchristieh in parenting, sports

The following were all muttered or shouted by parents to children:

• “What an idiot!”
• “Where’s our defense?”
• “You know, you played like crap today.”

My favorite was from the coach to a parent:

• “Relax! I don’t want to hear from you anymore today.”
• To which the parent replied, “Oh, you think I’M the problem?”

This is only a small subset of the negative remarks I heard. I wasn’t writing them down, and frankly, I wanted to watch the game. To be fair, I heard many positive comments also. But, I think some of these folks feel that if they say positive things sometimes, they have a license to say whatever negative things they want.

It gets to our boys after awhile. They lost 4-1.

It clearly got to me too. Not fun, especially since I had woken up early and was missing church to be there. I need to organize that Positive Coaching Alliance speaker to come again.

On a happier note, I love that Soccer Mom image from Cafe Press!

What’s the benefit of doing sports in school?

Posted on 10. Jul, 2006 by kchristieh in articles, education, parenting, sports

Is it to learn teamwork? To be fit? To get a college scholarship?

Two articles I read recently bring this question to the forefront:

First, from the LA Times, there’s ‘Academic Redshirting’ Is Getting a Mixed Report Card. It points out that one of the reasons some people start their kids (esp. boys) in school late is that they want the kids to have a better chance of being varsity athletes in high school.

The second article is from the NYTimes: “Once an Athletic Star, Now an Unheavenly Body.” It features former high school and college athletes who have a difficult time maintaining a fitness routine now that they aren’t motivated by a coach or a specific goal.

Why do we place such an emphasis on sports, if it means holding kids back and if it often doesn’t lead to a lifetime of fitness? When a sports program works well, it teaches invaluable lessons about teamwork, the value of hard work, how to win and lose gracefully, and how to stay in shape. Many other extra-curricular activities, such as band, debate, etc., can teach all but the last point. Sometimes we need to hop off the treadmill and evaluate our kids’ longterm goals. Organized sports are great for some kids, but others might benefit more from other options.